Animal Crossing Insanity Adam's Memoirs Game Date: September 17, 2002 Today, I met Gracie, the super-fly clothing designer with the uber-car to match. She forced me to wash it, saying that if I did a good job, she would give me a great set of clothing. I did my best, and as a result, the car was cleaned! I was approached by Gracie and she handed me a package. I opened it with faith and inside was... ... ... ... THE SAME SET OF CLOTHING I WAS WEARING AT THE TIME THAT I WASHED HER GOD DAMNED CAR. SCREW THIS GAME!! --- A guy moved in next door to me. He's smelly. I think he's looking at me funny. It may have to do with the "Porn Star" sign I hung outside of my house. Your friends may say bashing the animals over the head with a net is fun, but it gets them pissed off at you. I don't reccomend it. GAIDEN!! Hi, I'm Zidane. I just moved to Toran. This crazy cat says it's a hot vacation spot, but I don't see anything vacation-y about it. I think I'm living next to a porn star. The enormous house coupled with the fact that there's a billboard outside of his house that says "Porn Star" supports such accusations. He's been sending me clothes. I don't want to wear them, for fear of what he does in them... Being an indentured servant is not cool. Word for the not-so-wise: Get Connections when you're moving! Game Date: September 18, 2002 Tom Nook seems to like my business. Probably because I'm a goldmine for him. I owe him 700,000 bells. He keeps sending me flyers about the new stuff in his shop. Today he proudly proclaims he bears the "Dirt Model!" Stupendous. I think I'll go pester Punchy the Cat. He told me that I have an unusual name. PUNCHY TELLS ME I HAVE AN UNUSUAL NAME. HA HA HA HA HA! I now have a new goal. I'm going to create a voodoo version of the town in my basement. All I need are a bunch of those grass and dirt models, and some poorly made dolls of all the stupid animals in town and...heh heh heh...my plans will soon come to fruition! --- Punchy's a retard. He's swooning over a letter that makes little to no sense. Now for some garbage picking and indirect theft... Wee-ha! I got a neat looking shirt and a paper umbrella. Now I look like an overpriced alcoholic tropical drink! Too bad it isn't raining, so I can't show off my super ensemble... --- Hey. Anchovy is talking about my 'wierd name'. HA HA HA! ANCHOVY IS TALING ABOUT MY WIERD NAME! --- Woohoo! Another surreal gyroid! Now I have another one to add to the cacophany of mess in my basement, from a pagoda to a bajillion gyroids to raffle tickets! I'm a pack rat, and I'm going places! --- The entire town is psyched for the Harvest Moon. If this is any indication as to what is to come, I'll be running around plucking weeds, breaking stumps, planting crops...oops, wrong game... --- The squirrel next door (ha ha, I made a funny) helped me get in touch with my feminine side. I got to evaluate her nail polish. I told her it was thimply thwell! I also volunteered to help redecorate her room. --- What the hell? Zidane is getting more attention than me?! Then I shall have to do something about him. Muahahaha... --- I can't tell if I should Earthbound-ize my house or Suikoden-ize it. Rockin' K.K. has that "New Age Retro Hippie" funk to it, but then again, I have a peeing boy statue...so many difficult decisions... --- YEARGH! I have a set of clothing for Hopper, and he's asleep. I decided to help someone else while waiting for him to wake up, when I happen upon the chance to retreive a Game Boy from Sue E! Joy! Sue E! Where's Punchy's Game Boy? What?! WITH HOPPER?! GAHHH!! Game Date: Friday, September 20, 2002 Tomorrow is the Harvest Festival, and the entire town is becoming dumber with expectation. I've chit-chatted with everyone in town, and they all seem to have a blue check shirt up for grabs. I sold them all to Tom Nook, because blue isn't my color. Game Date: Saturday, September 21, 2002 Tonight was the Harvest Festival. It was a few of the animals staring at the moon. Yippee. Oh, and Sydney and Anicotti may have a thing going on with each other...a mouse and a koala...eww...I feel like I'm in a bad furry doujin... Game Date: Monday, September 23, 2002 Before the Sports Festival began, I engaged in some tomfoolery with Hank. I said the word "retard" and he latched on to it. The first sentence he says is, "Marry Me, retard!" Hank is my new best friend. --- I jumped around like a fool for 2 hours, then showed off my mad running skillz, but the animals didn't seem to care. I think I'll take a nap and wait for the ball toss. This should be fun... --- Alright. I just realized that this is based off of the Japanese "Taiiku no Hi", or P.E. Day. This is a national holiday to honor the Olympic Games in Tokyo that occurred...I forgot when. This is just too cute. I think it's funny how Hank brags that he's so good at sports, and he can't make the throw in to the basket. As much fun as watching animals suck at throwing things, I'm going to nap until 3:00 to watch the Tug-of-War. This will be fun. --- Hee hee. Pecan, the somewhat narccicistic squirrel is shouting "Cringe before my true power!" I love this game. --- Game Date: Friday, October 4, 2002 Zidane was being insolent. He flooded my mailbox with letters. These letters had such euphamisms as "u suk cok" and "lik dik ass" and "u r teh gey faget", so I had Pecan, the squirrel with TRUE POWER dynamite his house. Good thing his brain had fried to where he put all of his good stuff (like his Arwing) had been attached to these letters. --- *sniff* Anchovy moved away, and yesterday, Benny moved too...but we got a new friend in town named Candi. Now Anicotti has a neighbor and is not the only animal living by the coast. Anchovy's disappearance left Bunnie heartbroken. She didn't like her "tee-hee!" anymore. So I said the first word that came to mind. "Booyaka!" She loves that word now. I also dug up another Gyroid, this time behind Candi's house. I replaced the dirt, so she'll never know...heh heh heh... --- Around lunchtime, I mailed some more fossils off to the museum. I've collected quite a few different types. Hopefully I'll be able to complete either the T-rex skeleton or the Plesiosaur skeleton soon. Blathers and I have become good buddies. I just wish he'd change his attire every once and a while... --- Billy's been added to the moron list. He took all night to think up a game for us to play. This is what we did. I gave him one of my pieces of furniture, and he gave me money for it. Oh well, it's more than Tom Nook would have given me for it... --- I have one fourth of the ultimate power. Apparently, if you bury a shovel in a hole that is all glowy and stuff, it becomes a golden tree. Wait a few days, and shake it, and a golden shovel pops out. I'm not even going to begin to question this one. Hopefully the animals will start to worship the tree as they would a deity, due to the supernatural properties of it... --- I just sent a fossil to the museum with the text, "Two Fossil MOnkey Style Attack!" ...kill me, now... --- Game Date: Saturday, October 5, 2002 Today, a new friend joined the gang at Toran. His name? Claude. I'm scared. I hope Bunnie and him don't go knock over Tom Nook's store. I've got too many things I've still got to collect. Punchy sent me to retrieve a video tape that he "can't sleep without." I hoped that my dirty mind was playing tricks on me when I thought about what was on that videotape... IN a related story, I gave Punchy a set of clothes with the Mario M on them and he hasn't changed clothes in 2 weeks, except for the Sports Festival. I'm afraid... --- Today's outfit was a Bear Shirt, in honor of Viktor from Suikoden. They say he looks like a bear. I don't see the resemblance, but he's one of the best characters nonetheless. --- THe music I like is K. K. Technopop. Only because the Animal Crossing TV Spots show a guy dancing funny to it. Waving his arms in circles. It's amusing. --- I took a nap until about 8:45 PM to meet K. K. Slider, and I was greeted by Chuck, shouting the phrase forever etched in to my mind. "What do you want to do first, fag???" Chuck is my new best friend. K. K. Gave me a recording of K.K. Soul. Yee friggin ha. --- I have a new nomination for "Worst. Game. EVAR." D.K. Jr. MATH. 'Nuff said. Game Date: Sunday, October 6, 2002 A creepy foreign lady is hanging around. She gave me some rare stuff. I'm happy now. I shall now experiment in this 'feng shui' thing that everyone is talking about. If it has anything to do with a trading card game, I'm going to say, "Screw Feng Shui!" --- During a hunt for fossils, I discovered a power of the Uber-Shovel. I missed the spot I was supposed to dig at, and I dug up a bag of 100 bells! Yay! I happily used that money to buy some stationery to mail the fossils. I was bored, so I thought I'd shoot off a letter to Punchy to scare the hell out of him. I'll find out tomorrow what he thinks. Hur hur hur... Game Day: Monday, October 7, 2002 No response in the mail from Punchy... --- Geez, this town is boring. I think I'll take a nap. Game Day: Thursday, October 10, 2002 ...What is with my parents? I sometimes wonder what they're doing when I'm away from home. I don't think I'll be going back for Christmas...My mother sent me a mushroom in the mail. I think I'll sell it to Tom Nook. Today, when I looked at the message board, it appears that 'shroom fever has swept the countryside. I wonder...what can this portend? --- Money grows on trees. I'm now 90000 bells richer because of it. Game Day: Friday, October 11, 2002 Not much to report today. The town was sane. Game Day: Tuesday, October 15, 2002 Anicotti is alone again...Candi moved away. On the bright side, I have a new neighbor who moved in south of my house. Leigh is her name. She's creepy. I think I'll stay away from her.