Call me names

I've heard them all before

I just won't care

Because caring means risking

And I can let anyone in

But only so far

I can tell a stranger my darkest secret

And I want to tell everyone

Because that means safety

From the names

But to let a stranger in

And revealing the names

I call myself

Means risking

And Goddamnit I risk when I tell

First the secret

But I don't care

And finally, finally I care

And I comfort myself

"those who risk are free"

and now the names hurt

What am I free from?

I've freed myself

To allow all the old hurts to bubble up once more

And now there's someone

Who doesn't have the experience from the beginning

Who's learning for the first time

How being my friend is a risk

Well too fucking bad

Because it's his fault I care

I'd rather be anonymous

Than be called names.