The Super Cool Math Team


Adventure #1

It was a Wednesday night. Captain Parabola and Integer Girl had gone to McDonalds with some friends after study group. Their friends were fascinated by the talking trash cans, but Captain Parabola and Integer Girl were discussing logarithms. Integer Girl was trying to explain the philosophy of logarithmic functions to Captain Parabola, but he didn't understand.

"What do you know about logarithms!" He yelled "You're just a girl. Everyone knows girls don't understand math."

Integer Girl was very upset, and reasonably so. She left McDonalds and drove home.

The next day Captain Parabola was talking to the Amazing Repeating Decimal about the night before. He made a stupid, chauvanist remark about how he was called Captain because he was a man, and therefore should be the leader of the Super-Cool Math Team. The Amazing Repeating Decimal became offended and abandoned Captain Parabola in the High School Library.

That day in Algebra class neither of the girls would speak to Captain Parabola. The six weeks test was the next day, so their benevolent teacher had given them a review day. Integer Girl and The Amazing Repeating Decimal made a table all by themselves and would not let Captain Parabola join. It was review day, so he had to be in a table. But the only other one with room was with No-Fun Aruna and Cootie-Girl Kira. So Captain Parabola joined the table.

Cootie-Girl Kira began to whine about how immature Integer Girl and Decimal were being. She said they weren't "acting their age."

"You know Captain," Aruna said "If you aren't studying with your math team tonight, maybe the three of us could study for the test at my fortress."

Captain Parabola didn't know what to do. He certainly didn't want to go to the No-Fun Fortress, but if he didn't he risked making a bad grade on the six-weeks test. What's a parabola to do?

He agreed and went to the fortress after school.

After Integer Girl's bass lesson that evening she stopped by The Amazing Repeating Decimal's house to have a study hour. They had only been studying for 15 minutes when the Amazing Repeating Decimal began to think about Captain Parabola.

"Integer Girl," She said "I can't help thinking about Captain Parabola. I know he upset us, but maybe we should forgive him."

"Forgive him? Why would we do that?" Integer Girl replied "don't you remember what he said to us?"

"I remember. But I keep thinking of him with No-Fun Aruna at her fortress. I think he may be in danger. Maybe you should just swallow your pride and forgive him."

Integer Girl was insulted. She said good-bye and went home to study by herself.

Meanwhile Captain Parabola was at the No-Fun Fortress with No-fun Aruna. They were studying ellipses not centered at the origin when Captain Parabola began to get frightened. He tried not to let it show. No-Fun Aruna offered him some coffee. He accepted and she went into the kitchen to make it. At that moment The Amazing Repeating Decimal crept into the fortress living room where they were studying.

"Captain Parabola!" She whispered.

"Decimal," He said "I'm sorry for all the things I said about girls. Can you forgive me?"

"Yes, I can. But I'm afraid Integer Girl is still upset. Maybe you should apologize to her." She paused "Hey, what happened to your directrix laser sword?"

"What?" Captain Parabola replied. Sure enough, his directrix laser sword was missing. The Amazing Repeating Decimal crouched on the ground to tie her shoe. At that moment No-Fun Aruna entered the room with a polynomial stun gun. Captain Parabola dashed for the nearest door, which led him into the Rec Room. No-Fun Aruna began firing. Captain Parabola put up his vertex sheild, but dropped it behind the couch. He made a run for the nearest door, which unfortunately led him to the basement. He was cornered!

Then the Amazing Repeating Decimal entered the room with her decimal ray gun.

"zero point three three three three..."

"You can't stop me!"Aruna said as she revealed her decimal/fraction converter and pointed at the Amazing Repeating Decimal. POW!! Now her decimal ray gun only said one-third. She was powerless. No Fun Aruna had both of them trapped.

"Never Fear!" A voice said. It was Integer Girl. She was going to save them, but.... CRASH!!! Integer Girl had tripped over Captain Parabola's axis of symmetry and was now at the mercy of No-Fun Aruna as well.

"Way to go Ms. Graceful!"Captain Parabola retorted.

"Silence!" Commanded Aruna "Now I will take the log base 5 of 199 and destroy you all!"

All seemed hopeless. Integer Girl thought of logarithms and wondered how they could be turned against her like this. Then she remembered something.

Integer Girl hastily fumbled through all of her pockets. "Cursed Cargo Pants!" she mumbled. But then she found it; her positive/negative reversal powers. "You can't destroy us," She yelled "You can't take the log of a negative number!"

BOOM! Aruna collapsed to the floor and the Super-Cool Math Team ran from the fortress. Captain Parabola took his directix sword on they way out.

"Did you kill her?" The Amazing Repeating Decimal asked.

"No, of course not," Integer Girl replied "She'll be fine, but she may have to take a make-up test on Monday."

"Wow," Captain Parabola said "you saved our lives, Integer Girl. I'm sorry about all the things I said."

"I forgive you," Said Integer Girl "Now we'd better get back to our rooms and study for that test!"

The next day the Super Cool Math Team took the super cool six weeks test. All of them got above an 80. Integer Girl made a 99. Even No-Fun Aruna didn't do that well on her make-up test.

So, Captain Parabola learned that anatomy does not determine destiny and The Amazing Repeating Decimal and Integer Girl learned forgiveness. All is well in Math Land.

THE END

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