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LOVE ADVICE DRUGS |
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Welcome to "Freaky Tony's" Advice Column |
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You tired of listenin' to advice from dem ol' shriveled up bitches Ann & Abby? Well, you came to the right place.
I'll tell you what I think, and you gonna like it! |
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Featured Dilemma: Aug 7-14 |
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Impressing the ladies! |
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Yo! Young and yearning,
One way to really get a chick all hot-n-wet is poetry. I suggest that you memorize the second verse from the Molly Hatchet song, "Good Smoke and Whiskey". Recite this to her and tell her that you wrote it just for her. This will make her think she special, and not just some run-of-the-mill Ho! Another thing you can do is try to get her to drink a 40 of malt liquor (preferably 'Red Bull' or 'St. Ides'). This shows that you have a taste for the finer things in life and that you're a real 'class act'. Also, I find that this usually loosens women up enough so that I'll at least get my 'knob' polished in the McDonalds parking lot. Hope these suggestions help.
Good luck! And don't let your meat loaf!
Freaky Tony |
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Dear Freaky Tony,
I just recently met this girl in my chess club who's really swell. I asked her to go out with me on Saturday, and she said 'yes'. The problem is how can I impress her so that she'll like me (and maybe have sex with me)?
Sincerely, Young and yearning, in King of Prussia, PA |
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Got a question for Tony? Email it to him, and he'll get on it ASAP! |
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Disclaimer |
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Freaky Tony is not a licenced psychologist. The views expressed are those of Freaky Tony and do not represent the views of T-Dog or any of the Superfister 69 Fun Club members. This web site is for external use only |
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