McDonalds' have shat me up the wall for a long time. Sure, they're fucking over the environment, the poor 15 year old kids who work there, and kiddies' brains with their food, business and advertising, but ya gotta give 'em this: they make a decent ad campaign. I remember Ronald, Hamburglar (he was my sister's favourite because he wore black and white), Grimace (my fave, come on, he was a big purple squishy triangle), the French Fry kids (took me ages to figure out what they were), and Birdie like it was yesterday. Ever wondered which McDonalds' add-on sales character YOU'D be if you were one? Probably not, but you may as well find out.
Please note: This quiz is purely for entertainment purposes only. The author of this quiz does not suggest eating McDonalds' and supporting their anti-Union, let's-fuck-over-the-environment, screw-animal-rights, let's-treat-kids-like-mindless-dickheads and lie-about-the-quality-of-our-"food" regime. Nor will she take any responsibility for anyone who reads this and becomes an anti-McDonald's activist and who subsequently gets sued as a result of his/her actions.
I just wanted to give the world laughter, that's all. (Hurry up and do the quiz, McDonald's will probably sue me soon and pull it down because I'm using a trademark...)
Please also note:
Yes, the questions on this thing are stupid. In fact, the whole topic is stupid. And yes, the answers are stupid, too. You ask stupid questions... you know the rest.
They're fun!
They're irritating little fuckwads, but I have a smile permanently plastered on my face, so there's fuck-all I can really do about 'em.
Most kids are scared of me, so that's fine, they leave me alone.
If one more kid asks what the hell I am, I'll scream!
I was shown on television hanging around in some kids' bedroom and watching them in the bath...
Marijuana- trippy, but a bit of a downer sometimes.
Eccies- WHEEE!
Magic Mushrooms- I look like something you'd see on Magic Mushrooms...
Cocaine- why do you think I'm so giggly and my nose is red?
Heroin- I'm pale and I wear black, and I'm pinching stuff all the time.
Chicken McNuggets
French Fries
A cheeseburger- I'm well-known, and liked, but I'm quite bland, and yet some find me scary.
McDonaldland Cookies-my picture's on the box!
A McSundae
I'm a compulsive liar who likes to lure children into my clutches... A complete sociopath who looks like Mr. Nice Guy.
I can't wipe that goofy smile off my face.
Early mornings.(Yes, this is not healthy, you sick fuck.)
I'm a klepto.
I'm always hiding under my hair.
If you're a big fat party animal, purple fake fur is your look!
Go slightly kooky, slightly wacky- Pippi Longstocking plaits with rivethead pilots' goggles and bright pink shirts is all the rage!
Yellow and red stripes all the way. Symbolising the food dye we add, and um, communism.
Multi-coloured dreadlocks and stripey leg warmers are a good idea.
Go villian-camp! A cape, some Collingwood stripes, and a mask like you're a bad guy out of a black and white movie looks cute!
I'm meant to look like a McDonalds' menu item.
I got assassinated by the Health Department because their fatphobic protocol said I was "unhealthy."
My hair is made out of plastic.
My ad campaign got pulled after I asked what was in the hash browns.
Crime rates went up after McDonald's kids birthday parties, and I got blamed for influencing it.
People think I look cheerful even though I'm quite a dark, troubled character.
People think of me as though I'm some long-lost kidnap victim. They never found out what happened to me, but I've been gone so long that you know they're not assuming anything too hopeful.
Even though I'm meant to be evil, I'm too camp to be taken seriously.
I show up uninvited if there's a children's party within a fifty-metre radius.
I feel queasy looking at chicken nuggets.
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