By my own self-hate

I watch my body

As it deteriorates

I want some food

"Shut up you fat cow"

Can you understand

What Im going through now?

I told myself

"I will eat again when Im thin"

But my self starvation

Is only where my troubles begin

Food is my fear

Im trapped, Im haunted

But I am thin now

Thats what I wanted

But thinness isnt worth

All this secrecy and pain

Now I wish I could have

My old self back again

I said I would eat

Once I was sexy thin

But now Im ghastly small

And eating has become my sin