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I’ve been thinking a lot. I usually do. Of course, seeing a movie like Vanilla Sky doesn’t help. Annoying as it was... I couldn’t help but follow it’s lead into the questions it asked about reality. But it’s not only the plot that affected me. It’s the coincidences that built up as I watched it. A scenario of the vague lines between dream and reality that I so often ponder. I even started writing my own short story about it previous to my knowledge of this movie. Perhaps it was provoked by the ideas in other movies and books such as the Truman Show and the Matrix and Kurt Vonnegut Jr.’s Breakfast of Champions. I’m sure many people have been curious of this subject. But the coincidences. Is everyone else as affected by these thoughts as I am? Does everyone feel this overbearing sensation of coincidences or are they merely entertained by the thought of "living" in virtual reality.
"They’re just coincidences," he shrugs. Just coincidences just coincidences just coincidences an echoed whisper in my head. A button upon my purse that says "question reality" that I found last week, when the cashier told me the sixth one’s free. A movie that I only saw because of the music involved, only to be surprised by the brief use of a Bjork’s "Big Time Sensuality" music video. And then there’s the girl that "looks like bjork," mentioned at one part. Bjork. A movie that I saw with the wrong person because "they’re just coincidences." The right person would have understood. And the fact that I was doing the wrong thing, which I could already strongly sense, was shoved in my face as I sat with a person who couldn’t wait to rent American Pie 2 and hated the royal tenenbaums. The events of today were simply too peculiar to comprehend right now. And far too personal to get into. But the way things seem to harmonize, the direction my life has gone, the protection I’ve lived under from serious pain, the rewards I’ve received without the corresponding hard work. How can anything be this accidental. Something is there, controlling.
So am I a pawn? Barely mentioned in one part of the big picture? The girl that "looks like bjork?"
Or ...
jonelle kelly
January 19, 2002
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