I often say "peoples is peoples" (an expression taken from the movie The Muppets Take Manhatten). When I say this I usually mean everyone is going to do what they want to do. Well, right now I'd like to modify that expression just a bit and say "peoples is jackasses." No, not all people, but many. There's a certain type of person I'm talking about here. They are called Fire Crotches.
Let me explain what (or who) Fire Crotch is. The original Fire Crotch is this "red headed" chick in one of my classes. She's an irritating broad that gets on everyone's nerves. I cannot take credit for her nickname though. A friend of mine came up with it. Now, what does a Fire Crotch do you ask? Well, pay close attention to the following description. Someone you know, or maybe even YOU, could be a Fire Crotch.
- They think they know everything
- They love to kiss butt; it's what they live for
- They make it a point to answer every question, both those asked by the professor to the students and the students to the professor
- They really don't know everything and often answer those questions wrong
- The sound of their voice has the ability to invoke many deep sighs and many rolling eyes, raise one's blood pressure, and incite violent tendencies
- When they make mistakes, they make some ricockulous excuse for it
- Put simply, they irritate the fuzzy outta everyone and every time they speak people want to shout "shut up"
I'm sure everyone knows at least one Fire Crotch. They are among us all. I admit many of them are very smart people, but that doesn't meant they should act all high and mighty. The fact that they have a stick shoved so far up their bums you can see it when they open their mouths does not excuse such aggravating behavior.
BOTTOM LINE: Fire Crotches piss off everyone and should have their lips sewn together. If you don't know one, it's probably you.
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