the random rantings of a crazy person.

         i'm not a very patient person, and i really hate some things.



at the moment, i hate men.  all men.  face it, i'm not your type.  i'm not inflatable.

i hate those guys on tv that say they can do telekenesis.  if
you believe in telekenisis, raise my hand.

i hate everyone who came to hammond's renn faire last year and
said 'hot enough for ya?'.  listen, you're there in shorts and a
t-shirt.  i am wearing four layers of rennaisance garb topped
off with a bodice.  have you ever worn a bodice when it was 103 
degrees?  no.  but i have.  

i hate the simple mistakes that every evil person in every movie
makes.  

i hate staple guns.

i hate people who can't have an open mind without their
brains falling out.

i hate that computers don't say 'excellent command or file 
name!' when i actually do something right.

i hate it when people can't use the english language correctly. 
or when those people take something i say, transform it in 
their own little minds to mean something completely different, 
then get mad at me for it.

i hate wimps.  rome did not creat a great empire by holding 
meetings - they did it by killing all who opposed them.

i hate that if everything is going well, i'm obviously missing
something.

i hate that you people don't salute me.

i hate wedgies.  

i hate that no one is ever listening until i make
a mistake.

i hate that you say i'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.

i hate walls that i don't remember are there and manage to 
walk into in the dark.  this only happens in my own house.

i hate the guy on the quaker oatmeal box.  how scary is 
that guy?  i also hate oatmeal.

i hate arguing with idiots.  they just bring you down
to their level then beat you with experience.

i hate this job.  can i trade it for what's behind door #2?

i hate that orville redenbacher passed his looks on to 
his son.  

i hate aliens.  no, i like aliens, i just hate it when
they forget to remove some people's anal probe.  

i hate it when i have to do inane things for other people
just because they're lazy.  here's a phrase i hear a lot:
"karen, while you're up...and going to the refrigerator...
why don't you wash my car?"

i hate that guys' bathroom lines are 80% shorter.  i also 
hate that when a guy gets new shoes, they don't blister his 
feet.  and that a well-rendered belch from a guy is expected
and congratulated.  car mechanics tell guys the truth.  guys 
don't have to shave below their neck, although they should.  
and gray hair and wrinkles add character.
but i have the option of crying or flirting to get off
speeding tickets.

i hate it when people don't have opinions.  i also hate it
when someone tells someone that their opinion is wrong.
for this reason i stauntly refuse to discuss politics with
my friends.

i hate people who don't dance because they say they can't. 
i can't either, but i still do.  and yes, i look goofy, 
but that's half the fun.

I hate it when you get a full bottle of ketchup and it won't 
come out. It's not like you can't have the ketchup. You just 
can't have it on your fries. Why don't the ketchup people come 
up with a more user friendly way to distribute the ketchup. If 
it came out more easily, we'd use more ketchup, they'd sell more
 ketchup, there would be less injuries from people slamming 
ketchup bottles, you'd get to eat your food while it was still 
hot instead of screwing around with the ketchup bottle, which in
 turn would make dining out a more enjoyable experience. With 
all the additional people going out to eat (based on the user-
friendly ketchup distribution model) the economy would be even 
better. This in turn would would help to create government 
surplusses which could be used to help third world countries. 
Hunger and sickness could be abolished.
All this from a bottle of ketchup.
Next week I'll address the mustard crisis.

            .back.


   color underwear whilst updating this page:
            burgundy.  mmmmm fuuuuzzzzzzy.