August 31st, 2001 -... school started, just as bad as i thought... lots of dirty looks.. lots of anxiety walking the halls and at lunch.. keep running into the people i don't wanna see... i've calmed down a bit.. not as depressed as i was.. its weird though.. because everyone looks forward to going back, even if they say they aren't... but i never want to go back.. i'm to nervous. i don't like the whole public thing.. its not like i hate everyonem cuz i don't.. its jsut i feel weird, and i my heart beats really fast, and i get sweaty and my head starts pounding.. and i over analyze everything.. its weird. i don't know.. i'm messed up... i don't care either.. school's still a bitch like last year, and my votech thing is amazingly odd.. we were told one thing and now we do the other.. right, i actually wanted to do it this year to.. which pisses me off.. i was gonna try an compete in the nationals.. but i doubt i'll get to... so i'm thinking about dropping it.. i don't know if i will.. because i really want to, its just... i've been there for 2 years.. why shouldn't i just finish the third and graduate with that diploma ? the bus ride sucks.. i should've drove, i knew i should've drove, i'm going to start to drive.. its just that if i get caught driving, and get suspeneded 'm no longer president.. buts its so damn tempting since it wsa like 4 people to a seat today.. ::shrugs:: some of that dumb shit going on and stuff... not a big big deal though, just, annoying.
- Super Zero
August 28th, 2001 - ...i'll never understand anything.. i'm sick of life, and i'm sick of people. In my life time i have never understood anyone's actions or my own. I don't know what i'm trying to say, and i know no one else does. but i feel empty, depressed, and pathetic. I never realized the kind of impact i've had on my school over the last year.. i never knew i'd win what i did. if i did i would've tried to keep my grades up. something, anything so i wouldn't feel like this... i've been manipulated, i've been talked about, i've been treated like dirt. and i'm sick of it all.. i'm sick of everything i've gone through to help people out.. and everyone thinks i'm a slacker.. i'm not... i'm misunderstood. i don't get me.. i hate me, i sometimes wonder what life would be like if i weren't here right now typing this stupid comment on a peace of shit page that no one reads... no one will ever understand what i'm feeling right now.. how i wish a bolt of lightening would come down and just split my body in half, or how i just want to be alone for the rest of my life so i don't ruin anyone's life. I'm pathetic. i'm not even fit to do anything... when im looked at people see a slacer who deson't care about anything and won't do anything... my senior class doesn't realize how hard i've been fighting for there stupid priveleges over this summer.. i've been to 2 town council meetings, had 2 meetings with the super intendant, and countless others with our principal... i won the all over.. now we gotta bring it to student council for there backing so we can get them, i've worked my ass off for something that doesn't even apply to me... and i get no respect, none, jsut dirty looks, and rumors.. i'm sick of it.. if this is human nature, and the way things around going to be for the rest of my life.. i don't wanna live. People are idiots, and they'l never change. why should i help them ? why should i do favors for people who won't even say "thanks" or anything.. all i get is shit.. and im sick of.
- a depressed Super Zero
August 27th, 2001 - ... sorry.. i haven't really felt like doing anything lately.. probably because school is starting for me again on thrusday... This wouldnt be a big deal to me.. but i mean, July i had Summer School, and July through August i had tutoring.. and the rest of August i work at school.. i haven't exactly had a vacation.. which pisses me off... its not a big deal.. but i don't know.. school sucks, i'm just afraid of all the looks i'm gonna get from the football team, the cheerleaders and all of those other jocks who are asswipes... no further comments..
- Super Zero
August 25th, 2001 - ....damnit... today sucked stupid orientation.. i spent the day with a bunch of people who hate me because i'm not a jock.. or belive in the school... they're assholes.. punks.. DORKS.... this chick i won't say any names,
- A less disgrunteld Super Zero
August 25th, 2001 - ....Argh i hate the stuff i gotta do... Freshman Orientation.. i gotta spend my day at school... before it even starts... Stupid Freshman. Its not my fault they don't know there way around.. why should i waste my time and go there.. oh yea BECUASE I'M REQUIRED !... argh.. this pisses me off. i don't see hwy they can't do what i did... Be afraid of geting my ass kicked and figure it out myself.. they should form clans of different fresh groups... seriously they offer protection.. and its not like we're gonna go in a group and start beating people down... this isn't the hood, or the ghetto... this is a redneck hick town, with a shitty school system where we don't learn anything... don't believe me ? the town is over a million in debt and they wanna do cutbacks on the school.. but they can't CUZ ITS NOT RECIEVING PROPER FUNDING !... what the hell... why am i here... i've been trying to transfer to a better school. but i can't cuz i'm from this shit hole of a town.. West Warwick Rhode Island.. its one hell of... wait no, its not... LEAVE NOW BEFORE YOUR STUCK HERE FOREVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
- A Disgrunteld Super Zero
August 23rd, 2001 - ... Long ago.. on a planet very very very close... there was a man.. and that man FUCKED LIFE UP FOR EVERYONE OF USE... this guy realized people have feelings... and take things personal... what kind of guy would do that to us.. I mean... is he an idiot.. whats the point. oh don't do that its not nice... I have an alter ego from this site... and i'm into anime and that stuff.. And of course where there's anime i guess there's rping. and someone always takes what you do in offence... so i hate you mr "thats not nice to do, people have feelings to ya know" guy... You suck.. you ruined life for us all by declaring we have feelings.. I dont care if im happy or sad... or if you are.. thats your buisness not mine don't rub it in my face with your "feelings".. thats dumb.. Yes, i'll admit feelings make for some good music.. but its not like you go up to someone you don't know and start yelling at them.. thats hipocracy... and I'm no hypocrite... its not like i say save the dolphins then go eat some tuna fish.. Or animals have feelings to then mow em down in my inski.. Or Say save the trees while writing a journal on un-recycled paper.. thats being a hypocrite.. Damn It... I'm mad... Stupid feelings... "feelings, oh feelings. whoa feelings... get out of my head!"
- Super Zero
August 23rd, 2001 -...Man... tomorrow is my last day at work... it was a summer program.. man this sucks.. i gotta get a "real" job... I hate that.. its such crap.. what exactly is a real job ? I mean isn't that a 9 to 5 thing. why would anyone want that? I've had a "real" job a couple times.. and they all suck nuts. I hate it. I've said that to much. I don't care.. I don't care about anything at the moment.. to much pressure on me from my family saying i gotta do something with my life.. but they don't belive in what i want to do... Whats the point then right ? "you can be anything you want to be?" thats obviously a crock of shit. God damn hippies saying that stuff ruining mine, and everyone elses life... ARGH !
- Super Zero
August 22nd, 2001 - ....i've been thinking today... and i thought about some of the stuff i've done to people and realize i'm a pretty nice guy... i mean... i don't go up to people and talk about them... or behind there backs... well not often anway. I don't go out and get cocked off my ass or anything.. And i don't start fights.. I don't lie to friends.. I don't do anything really wrong.. But i realized people don't care... I mean seriously because of the kind of person i am, i get no respect... (yea i'd be thinking "oh god here comes a lecture about his life and school blah blah blah" cuz i'd be thinking it to) but hear me out... I'm the president of my senior class and this pisses me off to a huge extent... In the first 15 minutes after i found out i won, i heard like 5 rumors about me wanting to blow up the school.. cancelling prom, making "freak" dances all that kind of shit... I've gotten no cooperation from anyone. Ok maybe the Secretary and Vice - President but thats it.. they prolly talk shit about me to... wouldn't surprise me.. But really.. what gives them right to talk about me ? i mean i'm not honor student, but its not like i won't graduated... I barely made the requiremnts to run.. and i broke the unwritten law of having to be popular to win... Either that or i have friends... Its just odd.. I don't get it.. I mean, i never intentionally start conflicts or contribute to them.. sure i get mad but still i apologise for everything i say that may make someone mad... Its just odd.. i'll never understand how people can say something or act all nice around you and then go around and talk shit about you.. Its stupid... I'm sick of life like this.. I'm convinced its because i'm a nice guy... "nice guys finish last"... i'm not arguing that... i don't know this dumb... just needed to vent i suppose. - Super Zero
August 21st, 2001 - Man... i hate people with stupid idea's.. they're idiots.. they're always like "yea.. if we do this we'll be able to be here by 9. but we can't do this or this..." but the thing is, whenever they do this crap. we already knew it way ahead of time.. they're idiots. i can't stand em.. You know what else i hate ? I hate webmasters who go to there site and refresh it every 5 seconds or something so they look like they got a bunch of hits.. its stupid, whats the point? Did you make the site to see it yourself? are you that forgetfull that you forgot what you wrote 30 seconds ago "whoops. did i say I like Nysnc, or hated them? better refresh ::refreshes page:: Oh i hate nysnc ok... whoops did i mean like ? ::refreshes page::" its such crap. Wow you got 300 hits in one day.. HOW MANY WERE YOURS ?!... people are idiots.. my thoughts prove them.. and i'm not the only who thinks this.. i mean.. come on.. Look at George Bush, (who might i add didn't kill us yet... but don't get your hopes up... you never know what red button he'll push and ask "i wonder what this does")... he's a dumbass.. seriously yea big deal he saved us 120 billion dollars... and he's taking credit for it... me thinks there's a conspiracy in action.. somewhere in D.C. there's a team of scientists making an android of Bush.. so he's.... Smart... maybe he'll be as great as his dad and throw up on Some Guy From Japan.. yea.. and we're trying to stay at peace with them right?... wrong... in reality we're thinking about how to bomb them without getting caught... Bush probablly had that brainstorm "...we can bomb em.. and say it was Canada... The 51st State"... Thats another thing that pisses me off.. they're not our state.. they have a diff. form of govt. AND THEY'RE COUNTRY IS IN MUCH BETTER CONDITION THEN OURS!!... how dare you call them american..thats just down right canadian of you... eh?... I don't know.. I'm stammering on.. But at least i'm getting my thoughts out... Thank god For the internet ::drools:: oh yea... the inter-ungh- net ::looks down at his pants::... damnit... i think i should go change my pants...
- Super Zero
August 20th, 2001 - Oi. At the moment i'm listening to NoFx, (White Trash 2 Heabs, and a Bean). I'm also very bored. So i figured hey, i'm gonna find a chat and go into it (with my shit as aol provder, don't let me get started on that). So i'm looking through arts and entertainment... Looking for something Cool.. anything. I DON'T EVEN SEE A "Punk Chat" or something stupid like that.. the most decent thing i find is Blink 182.. I won't lie to you and say i hate them.... Cuz that's a lie.. they used to be my fav band.. up untill all the small things came out. Anyway, back to the story. I go in there and i swear to you.. all i hear/see is "Mark Hoppus is my Husband".. "i Love Tom".. "Blink Me"... what would you say when you go in there ? so first reaction is... dear god... Teenie Boppers and i stated that, I got my ass reamed. I got Yelled at.. and called a poser... Now i'm not a poser, but i'm not exactly the most original person in the world... But, in my mind, The highest insult is to be called a poser by someone who doesn't know who NoFx is, or that Green Day has 6 albums... Shit for the sheer fact they've never haerd Dude Ranch ( a pretty good album by Blink )... To my horror, and dismay i've seen what being mainstream does to a band. This really has nothing to do with anything, but it pisses me off.. a band i liked, a good band up untill 3 years ago, has gone so mainstream that they're now considered a boy band... ! WTF is up with that ? thats why i get all nervous now everytime i see a good band on MTV (not often By The Way).. but with band like =w= on it, and Blink i know That MxPx is going to be on it soon, as well some other bands.. and they'll be trapped in the never ending void of mainstream music.... What Can we do about this? nothing, because the american public likes to think its something its not.. all these teenie boppers think that Blink is punk, Funny right?, and that Bsb is Rhythm and Blues... Yea, they got blues in em alright "Baby baby baby... Baby Baby... err... Baby ? hey.... Baby..Baby baby Baby Baby Baby.... Baby!"..."nuff said on that... Man. If i could do anything in this world of some signifigance.. it'd be to be in Punk Rock Band with real fans... But thats superficial... If i decided against that, I'd say... To Stop MTV. and put on some real music stations.. Thats all we need. is to hear the music you can't.. thats why MTV started so many years ago.. And now..... they play the music we don't want to hear... "I want My MTV".... Not Anymore... Viva Las Vegas and all of that other stuff.
- Super Zero
August 20th, 2001 - I'm not sure whether or not i'm a bad person. I mean sure we all have our faults, like, i'm a prick who talks a lot smack. (foo!)... but its not like i do it everday, and to everyone... just to people that i hate.. Thing is i hate a lot of people.. I was once told that you know your a good person if you count your friends on the fingers of one hand and it you don't have enough fingers or something stupid like that... i don't neccessarily believe that... Its just to make people feel good... everyone has friends now.... we're so lazy that we won't get off of our asses and go out and make some new ones.. Instead we go to chats and meet ficticous people... They could lie about everything.. and i tend not to do that, because its pathetic.. It really is. I don't know. I just understand a lot of stuff. and i think a lot about really stupid stuff.. But its not, i don't know if anyone is ever going to read this stuff.. But, like... i dont know.. I never know.. Its sad... in my eyes, people are pricks, they convicne themselves after a while that they're not a bad person, so they lose there concious and never feel guilty (ex: Fred Durst)... and then everyone, including myself, looks to something else, we never really think... we claim we do, but we don't. they're always someone or something saying what you should do, whats cool, whats fun, a great band all of that crap.. and thats just what it is... Crap. I don't get why people are idiots... I don't get why i'm an idiot.. I don't get why i'm writing this down. But i had to say something, i can't let it go unnoticed. I'm that stupid... or mean... I don't know, I don't know anything.
- Super Zero
August 19th, 2001 - Why's everyone always say Punks dead ? I mean... sure its not a dominate a music as it was 15 years ago.. and its not exactly the same sound... But i think thats a good thing... Everyone says that if you keep doing the same thing it gets boring and repetitive... Well. thats what was happening to punk.. It was like gone for 2 years.. Then Some Really good bands got together. Sure its not the same Punk from back in the day... But they're are some really good things coming out of it... And as long you got bands like Rancid, and Bad Religion Around Its Punk! i'm sick of hearing "Punk's dead", or "Punk Sucks", cuz thats crap. And its still alive, and breathing.. and its gonna kick the shit out of all those teenie bopper boy bands... i can picture it now, picture it with me.. Rancid rising out of the mist with ak's. and taking back the mentality Punk used to bring 15 years ago... Punk Will Always Be there.
- Super Zero
August 19th, 2001 - i don't understand people.. They always complain and say they want Equality for everyone, animal rights, freedom of speech, and thats fine Cuz i believe in that to, but i don't get why people demand it after they do something really stupid... Like Look at woodstock 99, They're like.. Oh peave love, happiness... HOW CAN YOU BE HAPPY WITHOUT NOFX ?!. Huh ? thats what i thought.. you can't be.. they're saying the music defines them.. they didn't have any good music there... just Fred Durst the "hardcore Mutha F*cka"
- Super Zero