AB = Afternoon Breakfast (Brent and Lance)

AB:  *something about Christmas cookies*.  Welcome Zed to the studio.  Well we got Nathan, Ben and Adrian here, you're luvin these cookies aren't ya boys
Ben:  They are so addictive
AB:  Did you guys say this is made in your home town, Christchurch?
Ben:  I met Mr and Mrs Cookie Time man, coz my Dad is in the chocolate trade himself...
Age:  There we go, straight into it
Ben:  That's right, I'm doing some family promo, working on that inheritance ya know
AB:  So what sort of chocolate does he have?
Ben:  Oh thank you, yeah...Richfield's, yeah, Richfield's
AB:  Available now at all good stores
Ben:  New Zealand's creamiest chocolate
AB:  You weren't dating Mr Cookie's daughter or anything were ya
Ben:  Working on it mate, working on it *there's the sleazy Ben we know and love*
AB:  Welcome, you guys have been away for a couple of years working on a new single, which we have...
Nath:  It's taken 2 years, the single
AB:  2 years, so after the release of your debut album what have you been doing, did you take a break and then get back into it, what'd you do?
Nath:  Not really, things got very busy very early on, over in the States and things, but what we soon realised was that it's quite naive to think you can go to the States and release an album and go to #1 within, say, 2 weeks or something...there's a lot else that you have to get done first, and you'd be silly to go in with none of the groundwork done, you'd wanna - on a serious note - you'd wanna do your homework, so that's what we did, and now we're ready...*scary voice* to take over the world
AB:  Adrian, tell us about the States, why is it so hard and how is it so different?
Age:  Well I suppose there's 50 states, each are as big as NZ, it's just huge, it's a different world.  They are self-sufficient in their entertainment...and you've gotta get in there and become one, not one of them, but you've gotta understand the system
Ben:  And they talk funny too *interview deteriorates as everyone imitates American Zed fans*
AB:  You guys are Zed?  Yeah I love your music
New Zealand, yeah that's in Australia isn't it.  Love those koalaroos...
Do you get that all the time, the Australia link, thinking that we're all joined together?
All:  All the time
Age:  We just pull out the Canadian link for them
Nath:  They love us
AB:  Do you guys get treated, look I know that the record guy's gone now, do you actually get treated better in America with limos and stuff?
Ben:  Shall we tell the limo story
AB:  Yeah let's get the limo story *puts on fairytale music*
Ben:  Which limo story tho, there's a couple *discussion in background about which limo story to tell*.  No I was thinking...when we turned up to LA the first time a year and a half ago, and we got picked up from the airport in a limo, and it was all very flash....back to the offices.  Anyway, 6 weeks later, how do we get back to the airport?  *dramatic pause* On the back of a pick-up truck
AB:  Really *DJ starts hysterical laughing*
Ben:  With these 3 Mexican guys, sitting in the front
Nath:  Things are going well, they're looking up
AB:  With Juan, Juan and Juan.  You sat on the back of a pick-up truck
Ben:  That's right, with our guitars
AB:  Like in Planes Trains and Automobiles
Nath:  I think it was illegal, but yeah
AB:  You obviously made a big impression with the company over there, things are going off in the States for Zed
Age:  We've come back since then, and we're back to the van, we've got a van now
AB:  Maybe one day you might get the tour bus
*Zed start making 'ooh' noises, something about a Greyhound, presume that's a flash tour bus*
Age:  Playstations and everything in there, you know
AB:  Have you been in those yet, or got to step in anyone elses'?
Age:  We saw one parked in a hotel carpark once, actually
Ben:  That was, yeah, Powderfinger's...you know Powderfinger, Australian band?
AB:  Yeah, yeah...how'd they get a tour bus?
Ben:  I know!
AB:  And you guys didn't, what a rip-off.  When we talk to other artists who travel around the States, they talk about this thing about getting searched for illegal substances.  In particular one band got a very nice going over with a rubber glove.  Just simply because you're a bunch of musicans travelling around, have you had special attention?
Age:  We actually got that on the way back into New Zealand, sorry New Zild.  They didn't actually, they got the rubber gloves out and I was thinking uh-oh, but they just used them to go thru my suitcase
AB:  You take your clothes off, no no none of that
Age:  It's quite embarrassing tho, not that I had anything bad in there, but just your dirty underwear and everything
Ben:  You never know, coz we might be smuggling Kiwi eggs or anything *wtf*
AB:  Our boss got busted, they took a swab of his satchel, and he must have touched a door handle or something, it had drug powder on it.  He was taken away and was given the full once-over, and he said look I've just been at a concert type thing, it could've happened there.  So that's how, they can actually take a swab and get it off that.  I still maintain he's a drug runner but...that's beside the point
AB:  That's the last time we plant stuff in his bag
AB:  Let's talk about the new single Starlight. Tell us your connection with Rob Schneider, he loves you guys, is that where it stems from?
Nath:  It seems that way, it was really great, we got over there and things were looking good, but Rob Schneider all off a sudden just goes I definitely want this song on my movie, coz there was talk of maybe being pulled, and he was like no, he put his foot down, he wasn't gonna let anything go ahead unless it...yeah he was awesome.  Then he was all of a sudden wanting to be in the clip as well, and we were like, hey
AB:  Tell us about the clip, what happens in the clip with Rob Schneider, can you tell us?
Age:  It's a mini-movie
Nath:  It's based off the theme of the movie, which is like a role reversal thing, with 2 people, swapping, so in our video clip Rob swaps with myself and ahh...it all goes to custard pretty soon.  Coz he didn't know the words, and...
Age:  It was funny.  You've seen his previous movies, Deuce Bigalow and all that, they're pretty funny.  Movies like that, and the video's got that kinda thing too, just coz he's...he's funny
AB:  He is a funny man
Ben:  He was very friendly too, he looked after us well
AB:  Cool, alright...and ah the brand new song Starlight, now is that recorded in the States as well?
Nath:  It was actually recorded in Balmoral
Age:  We call it the Balmoral Sessions
AB:  Ahh beautiful...how long does it take, like if Brent and I, coz we're you know...budding, aspiring... how long does it take to record one song, like Starlight?
Age:  Well that's taken 2 years as you can see
AB:  Yeah, but the actual studio time, physically studio time
Ben:  It really can vary a lot, that song in particular we recorded as a demo, and we did it with another couple of songs over about 3 days, and that was...from putting the drums down and moving to another studio and putting the vocals down,and doing the mixes and everything, but generally...
Nath:  Probably a day, total, like for that song
Age:  Michael Jackson takes about a year per song *hysterical DJ laughing*, but we've cut it down, coz we don't have $15 million
AB:  Hey you're travelling with 3 Mexicans on the back of a pick-up truck, you don't have time for that
Nath:  Record on the way
AB:  Really, you've got half an hour, an hour tops in Balmoral and you guys better be finished
Nath:  Then we're back on the pick-up
AB:  And you have to pay cash as well aye, there's no credit for you guys
Age:  The Mexicans wanted a tip too
Nath:  Yeah we ran, we just ran
Ben:  Actually that's why Andy couldn't make it, we sort of left him there
AB:  He's in a Mexican jail?  Is that what you're saying?  While we're on the subject of budding musicians, if we wanted to form a band ourselves obviously we have to start small and build up, like you know, you've gone thru the Mexican thing.  But I wanna ask...what's the smallest audience, when you first formed...a proper gig, I'm not talking playing at a birthday party, but the smallest gig you ever performed to, how many were in the audience?
Nath:  It's very simple - Ben
AB:  Just Ben?  Ohh...
Age:  Like a paying gig, that people paid to see us play?
Ben:  There was a small town outside of Christchurch, our home town, called Oxford.  We went out there with another couple of friends' bands and ah, well there was more crew and bands then people in the audience
Age:  It was actually a bunch of fun...
Nath:  Coz we were playing to the other bands, and then we swapped, and it was like a little jam session
Ben:  I think there were 8 door sales, about 8...and we've nicknamed Oxford 'Roxford'
AB:  It rocks
Nath:  It certainly does
AB:  8 Mexicans, watching the show in Oxford *cue bad accent* 'You guys are pretty good'.  OK lets go the other extreme, what's the biggest gig you've done now?
Age:  Probably the Robbie supports in New Zealand, the Robbie Williams supports in Auckland and Wellington, 50 000 each or something
Ben:  There was Xmas in the Park in Christchurch, which isn't really a real 'gig' gig, but we set up with out acoustics in front of 130 000 people, which is...you know, we still played, and it was a buzz, to put it really mildly, it was a buzz
AB:  I notice you're looking at the paper there...now we've got Russell, and Eric Watson...whose your money on for the fight?
All:  Watson
Nath:  He's a big dude...isn't he 6'4"?
Ben:  He's 6'6"...and he's probably about 110 kg, I'd say.  But you know, he'd just grab Russell's ponytail...
AB:  So when do you guys get minders that can pull you out of the crap when you guys go out, at what stage in your career?  When you go off in Oxford...
Age:  We had a couple on the video shoot that we just did, there were a couple of big security guys, we never have that here, but in the States they have em
Ben:  I wonder how much we'd have to pay Eric Watson for security
AB:  Quite a bit I'd say...alright well we've got the guys from Zed in studio, let's put on the brand new song, this is it, it's so new there's not even a label on the CD. It is called Zed, and it's their brand new song called Starlight at More FM

AB:  Well done, fantastic, that's Starlight Zed at More FM.  Maybe just some backing vocals from us could have just really...what about a Casiotone Lance?  That's what you needed in it...
Nath:  That's what it needed, that's what it was missing
AB:  Check this out...that's what you need, right there.  I notice Zed doesn't have a keyboardist
Ben:  Or a tambourine, need a tambourine...
AB:  Tambourine?  That'd be fantastic
Ben:  Can you guys handle that?  *sleazy Ben moment*
AB:  I've got a triangle, and that's about it I think
AB:  We've just had some bad news tho, we were talking about how well you get treated in America compared to how you get treated here, you sent your record company man out to get you a coffee or a frappuccino, and he's called Nathan
Nath:  Yes he's just informed us that traffic is fairly bad...
Age:  *agitated*  It's always traffic up here isn't it, ALWAYS TRAFFIC
Nath:  There IS a Starbucks just down the road from the studio, 100 metres ahh...
AB:  100 metres down there on the road.  Gee guy, I dunno
Age:  They should give us a free one for that
AB:  They should really, shouldn't they.  Starbucks Ponsonby Rd, Zed would like, you know...frappas?  Do you want a mango frappa or a frappa mocha?
Nath:  Ahh rumba, the one with the little bits of Oreo cookies
AB:  Is a free coffee the biggest perk you guys get these days?  Are you getting free anything, are you getting free clothes...you're not really getting anything?
Ben:  That's a good point, if anyone wants to give us free stuff, just ring you guys?
AB:  How about the website, what is it, zedquarters.com?
Ben:  Yeah that's right
AB:  Log onto there, and the boys are open to promote Porsche or Ferrari
Nath:  Whoever's in first
AB:  Anything like that...well that was your brand new song Starlight, the album, you've actually got some songs written for it but you're still working thru the process
Ben:  That's right, we have lots of good songs tho
AB:  How do you decide, you write all these songs, is it a case of...you do a song and then the next day you're still humming it?  And you think, ahh well I'm still humming that one
Ben:  A catchy tune is very important
Nath:  Altho sometimes the most annoying songs are also catchy, so you've gotta be careful of that, you've gotta make sure they're not annoying
AB:  I mean, remember Achy Breaky Heart, that song sorta set the precendent for everything annoying
Ben:  You just have to say that name, now it's stuck in my head for the next 2 days
AB:  Hey that'd be good on the album *starts singing it*.  Brilliant.  While we're on songwriting then, if you're doing a song and you're writing a song, and it's not maybe working, how do you know when to stop it...you know, enough's enough, this is not going anywhere, it's just a feeling I suppose
Ben:  Generally the best songs just come really quickly, as a general rule.  Sometimes you'll work really hard towards a song and it'll happen, if you see the potential, but personally my songs that I'm most happy with, I've written in about 15 minutes, 20 minutes, and it's just there
AB:  Have you ever recorded something, and gone back to sit down and listen to it, and everyone just gone 'hit erase on that my good man'
All:  Yeah...
Nath:  Every now and again that happens
Age:  We've said things in interviews where we want the same thing too as well
Ben:  Whaddya mean we're live?
AB:  Are we live?  Is there anything you'd like to retract from this interview Adrian
Ben:  Probably the pick-up truck thing
AB:  Yeah maybe the Porsche line, he'd really like a Saab
AB:  Now I was lucky enough to head off to Rumba last year, and I saw you guys, rockin', a fantastic performance.  And of course Rumba Auckland's gonna be a big one for you.  On the day of a big performance like Rumba, how does your day pan out?  Is it pretty relaxed up until an hour before you go on?
Nath:  It is really, like the key is not to get too wound up about it or worried, you just kinda hang out together and have a good time, and then you go on stage and there's a good atmosphere and a good vibe amongst us, and that usually translates to the audience
Ben:  We're gonna be a bit busier after the show actually, I think we finish at about 4.10 and we're catching the 7.30 to LA
AB:  Aye...so heading back to the States for more tour, promotion?
Ben:  We're actually playing at the premiere for Rob Schneider's new movie, in Hollywood
AB:  All the A-Listers will be there, will they?
Ben:  I hope so
Nath:  I'm not going coz that means I'll miss Pink
Ben:  Ohh true
AB:  Of course, can't miss...Pinkalicious
*something about Rob replacing Nath, and taking Pink on the plane with them*
AB:  Well best of luck, we'll look out for the album, is there a date set, mid next year maybe, I dunno
Nath:  We're tentatively hoping the first half of next year because, hey.  At this stage American's giving us a lot of hassles, we've gotta get that done, and get that happening, and then we can come back to the place we know, where we're loved
AB:  Alright very best of luck with that Zed, looking forward to seeing you at Rumba as well, congratulations on the fantastic new song and we look forward to an album next year.  The guys from Zed *applause*.  Hang on, more cookies, more cookies in the main studio...

Please go.
Anya, the Shopkeepers of America called. They wanted me to tell you that "Please go" just got replaced with "Have a nice day."
But I have their money. Who cares what kind of day they have?
No one. It's just a long cultural tradition of raging insincerity. Embrace.