Movies
Warren: No
way man, Axle would take aim, pound on the gas, vrooooommmn and take that
sucker out!
Lucus: Warren,
where do you get this hositility from?
- Empire Records
Warren:Stop
calling me Warren! My name isn't Fuckin Warren!
Berko: His
name isn't Warren? I thought his name was Warren?
- Empire Records
AJ:Hey, what's
with you man? Yesterday you were normal, and today you're like the chinese
guy off the Karate Kid. What's with you today?
Lucus: What's
with today, today?
- Empire Records
Joe: let me
explain this to you, Mitch is the man, I'm the idiot, you're the screwup
and we're all losers... welcome to music town!
- Empire Records
Warren:Who
stuck these quarters to the ground?
AJ: I did
Warren: What
the hell for man?
AJ: I don't
feel I need to explain my art to you, Warren
- Empire Records
Joe: Lucas,
where's the money?
Lucus: Joe,
the money's gone...
- Empire Records
Joe;You
want advice from me about love, my wife left me for another woman and my
girlfriend forced me to leave at gunpoint... Does that qualify me?
AJ: Definatly
- Empire Records
AJ: Im
gonna tell her at 1.37 exactly!
Lucus:
That's an excellent time!
- Empire Records
Gina:
Lucus, what are you doing here?
Lucus: My
life has reached its pinnacle, Joe's letting me close up
- Empire Records
AJ:Okay
Corey here it goes, you know that feeling you get when you just stepped
out of a warm bath? All warm and refreshed and... You make me feel like
a bath??!
- Empire Records
Mitch: Hey
Man,who's bowling ball is this?
Pickford:
Its yours man...
- Dazed & Confused
Slater: What
time is your party tonight man?
Pickford: Nine-thirty
man
Slater: Nine-thiry.
Okay Erm... I'll be there man!
- Dazed & Confused
Slater:
Are you cool man?
Mitch:
Like how?
Slater: Okaaaay!
- Dazed & Confused
Dante:
How many balls did you bring?
Hockey dude: There
was the orange one...and the orange one
- Clerks
Dante:
I’m stuck in this this pit, earning less than slave wages, working on my
day off, dealing with every backward fuck on the planet, the goddam steel
shutters are locked all day, I smell like shoe polish, I’ve got an ex-girlfriend
who’s catatonic after fucking a dead guy, and my present girlfriend has
sucked thirty six dicks
Randall: Thirty
seven
- Clerks
Renee: When
are men going to learn that women want romance, not Mr Toad's Wild Ride
Brodie: Be
fair, alright? Everyone wants Mr Toad's Wild Ride
- Mallrats
Jay: The jedi
mind trick! holy shit motherfuckin' Yoda and shit!
Silent Bob:
Adventure, excitement, a Jedi craves not these things
- Mallrats
Brodie: The
cookie stand's not part of the food court...
T.S.: Sure
it is
Brodie: The
food court is downstairs, the cookie stand's upstairs, it's not like we're
talking quantum physics here!
T.S.: The
cookie stand is an eatery, and eatery is part of the food court
Brodie: Bullshit!!
Eateries that operate within the designated square downstairs qualify as
food court, anything operating outside the said designated square is considered
an autonomous unit for midmall snacking
- Mallrats
Brodie:
hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for sega
- Mallrats
Jay:I'm
feel like, I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're
in that fucked up bar!
- Dogma
Loki: Any
moron with a pack of matches can start a fire. Raining down sulphur takes
a huge level of endurance
- Dogma
Loki: mass
genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer...
- Dogma
Kid at high school:
Are you in loser denial or something?
Other kid at high
school: I had a bad case of loser denial myself,
until the lacross team stuck a parking cone up my ass.
- Billy Madison
Happy Gilmore: If
I saw myself in clothes like that I'd have to kick my own ass.
- Happy Gilmore
I feel like an idiot.
But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.
- i dunno what movie
its off, but i'm pretty sure it was an adam sandler one
Shooter McGavin:
just
stay outta my way, or you'll pay; listen to what I say
Happy Gilmore: how
bout I just go eat some hay, I can make things outta clay and lay by the
bay, I just may, what do ya say?!
- Happy Gilmore
Robbie: Julia
Gulier; that's funny!
Glenn: Why's
that funny?
Robbie: I
don't know
- The Wedding Singer
Competion Judge:
Mr Madison, what you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic
things I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling, incoherant response,
were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.
Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award
you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
- Billy Madison
Rugg Rugged: Right,
we'll do this by the book; lets split up
Johnny's worthless
brother: I'll check outside, alone, in the
dark!
Rugg Rugged: That's
a good idea!
- Bad Action Movie
Jim Bond: We
could have taken my car, but somebody had to skydive in!!!
- Bad Action Movie
Dr Evil: Mini
me, you complete me
- Austin Powers
2: The Spy who shagged me
Dr Evil: Austin,
I am ... your ... father
Austin: Really?
Dr Evil: No.
I can't back that up. I was just grasping at straws. I had nothing
- Austin Powers
2: The Spy who shagged me
Scott Evil: Its
1969, Jerry Maguire won't come out for another 30 years, arse!
- Austin Powers
2: The Spy who shagged me
Other movies
The emporer wants to control outer space;
Yoda wants to explore inner space; thats the fundamental difference between
the good and the bad sides of the force!
- Human Traffic
Jim Carrey:
Alrighty then
- the Mask
Cecile: I
can be sexy!!!
Sebastian:
Okay then, show me sexy
- Cruel Intentions
Tom Hanks' character:
There's no crying in baseball!
- A league of their
own
Garth: Party
on Wayne!
Wayne: Party
on Garth!
- Waynes World and
also in Waynes World 2
Bianca: There's
a difference between like and love. I like my Sketchers, but I love my
Prada backpack
Chastity: But
I love my Sketchers
Bianca: That's
cause you don't have a Prada backpack!
Chastity:
Oh.
- 10 Things I hate
about you
Jafar: I think
its time to say byebye to Prince Abubu
- Aladdin
Kat: Am I
that transparent? I want you; I need you; oh baby, oh baby
- 10 Things I hate
about you
Theme song dude:
George, George, George of the jungle, strong as he can be... Arggggghhhhhh,
Watch out for that tree!!!!!
- George of the
Junlge
Howie: I am
way, way uncool!
- Backstreet Boys
Howie: Nick,
what are you talking into?
Nick: My
hand dumbass!
- Backstreet Boys
Nick: 'Do
you have any tattoos, and if not,' which i don't, um 'do you think having
a tattoo would improve your sex life.'
um, do I thin it
would improve my se- I don't really have a sex life right now
- this is one of
the funniest interviews you could see people, he was about 14 at the time
and on a tv show answering questions on cards, which goes to show people,
that you read things in your head before you read them out aloud to the
audience.
- Backstreet Boys
Brian:
Boy I feel like a corncob right now
- Backstreet Boys
Howie: Gilligan
2000, the wave of the future. Hey Skipper where we goin' today?
AJ: Yo homie
Gilligan, we's goin' back to the islands
Howie: Word
AJ:To your
brotha
- Backstreet Boys
Songs
The Monkees:Hey
hey we're the monkees And people say we monkey around
- The Monkees Theme
song
Robbie Williams:
You
can't just up and leave me, i'm a singer in a band
Kylie Minogue:
well i like drummers baby, you're not my bag
- 'Kids'
Sisqo: Dumps
like a truck, truck, truck, Guys like what, what, what, Baby move your
butt, butt, butt, i wanna sing it again!
- the Thong Song
Califonia dreams
:Surf dudes with attitude, kinda groovy, laid
back moves, Sky above, sand below, good vibrations, feeling mellow...
- California dreams
theme song
Chris Rock:
There is no sex in the champange room
- 'There is no sex
in the champange room'
Robbie Williams:
Give no head no backstage passes
- 'Rock DJ'
Dark Tower: A
Move to the left, A shimmy to the right, move, shimmy, move, shimmy...
- 'The baggy trousers
project'
Dunno who sings it:
Focus, you can move a table, Why'd ya wanna move a table?
- don't know the
name of the song either
Smashmouth:
Paint the town, take a bow, thank everybody. You're gonna do it again
- 'then the morning
comes'
Other stuff
Marvin the martian: Where's the KABOOM?! There was supposed to be an earth shattering KABOOM!!
Mike O'Gee:
So what happened?
Mike O'Gee: Yeah,
yeah, But what happened?
Robbie Williams:
Where did it all go right? Howard was my favourite
- TOTP special
Robbie Williams:
Marky!
I'm ho-o-ome!
- 'Sure' video
Dunno who sings it:
Jeramiah was a bullfrog
-don't know the
name of the song either
This recording contains lyrics which may be deemed offensive by some listeners...
Read the script Colin
I can't read Jessica, I'm a tree
- Wholesale tree
company ad *sad, very sad*
I like the word 'indolence'. It makes my laziness seem classy
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing
sound they make as they fly by
- both of those
above quotes are from Pops' AUT handbook
Mike O'Gee: I ain't the sharpest pin on the magnet...
but there was no EFTPOS...get some EFTPOS
not having EFTPOS is no excuse.
If you tease the puppies you have to buy one.
- Havoc
Bart Simpson:
You don't make friends with salad
- the Simpsons
Abs: Oh no!!
Little squirrel, errrr, errrrgh
- the 5ive official
video
Piglet: When
I'm with my best friend Pooh Its much lovlier with two
- the song he sings
when you press his tummy
Tigger: The
wonderful things about Tiggers, is I'm the only one!
- the song he sings
when you press his tummy
I am Cookieman, and this is my sidekick
Sprinkles
- its either JC
or Justin from Nsync, and the sidekick is whichever one didn't say it (i
can't remember)
Megs: I don't want to go out!!
Genie:
And then, when we least expect it, wham! Smashed by a giant sand viper!
Not that you ever really expect to get smashed by a giant sand viper...
- Aladdin, TV series