Chapter
3
While
trying to find their way to the little boys room, Candy and Lori-Beth came
across a room with a 'do not disturb' sign on the door.
"Tempting",
Candy muttered, as she shoved open the door.
And
there was Ben Campbell, in light blue girls' jeans, holding his midge dance
moves handbook in one hand and cigarette in the other, getting down with his bad
Midge self to the sounds of Spinal Tap.
Candy
and Lori-Beth saw an opportunity, an opportunity to reach out and help someone
who was clearly in need.
"Ben?",
Candy cooed, as he finally noticed that someone was standing in the doorway.
"Hi",
he cooed back, as he checked out Candy and Lori-Beth.
"Uh,
Ben, are you sure you're O.K.?", Lori-Beth knew the answer as she looked at
the wannabe midginess around her.
Ben
look from Candy to Lori-Beth and back again.
"Great, enjoying your day ladies?"
He
look uncertain as he proceeded to do his Shore boy routine.
At
that moment Ben felt the need to change his shirt. "Excuse me ladies while I get changed".
Ben looked around the room, knowing that there was nowhere he could slip
away to get changed privately. Giving
Candy and Lori-Beth an apologetic look, he unbuttoned the top button of his ugly
denim sleeveless number, borrowed off a friend.
He
worked his way down the ugly denim sleeveless number, as Candy look at her watch
and Lori-Beth stared out the window, wondering if that was Shane she could see
walking his horses.
Ben
started to cough loudly, wondering why his striptease was getting no attention
from the ladies standing before him. "You
sound a bit hoarse", Lori-Beth observed as she craned her neck to get a
better view of the horse-walker.
Ben
looked at the faces of Candy and Lori-Beth, who would've been more interested in
a game of chess. Heaving a deep
sigh, he collapsed onto a nearby couch, head in his hands.
"Problem?",
Candy asked, as Ben buttoned up his shirt and Lori-Beth searched in her bag for
her $2 Shop 'I'm a scholar' glasses.
"If
I tell you girls something, will you promise not to tell anyone else?"
Ben's eyes were filled with such pain that Candy and Lori-Beth couldn't
help but reach out.
Ben
took a deep breath.
"It's
just that...Midge never gets asked to prove his manhood, and after being a geek
all through my high school years I decided I needed a badass role model...so I'm
trying to be more like him, the girls jeans, the lip-licking thing, the 'I hate
boppers' vibe...but it's just not me. Midge
goes for anyone - stays out all night - while the woman for me is a woman like
Salma Hayek who dances like a hooker in way too many movies."
Ben
paused, as Lori-Beth pulled out some more tissues, and Candy searched for the
Twix she was sure was in her bag.
"I
was comfortable in my own skin in my high school days.
I was an active member of the jazz band, the barbershop quartert, tripped
over the stairs frequently...that was me. Now
I find myself ignoring fans simply because I can't be bothered talking to them,
wearing particular clothes because they make the boppers go wild, and don't even
start me on alcohol or girls..."
And
with that, Ben completely broke down. Lori-Beth
put her arm around him and provided tissues, while Candy lent an arm for
support, as well as that Twix bar.
"Things
don't have to be like this", Candy murmured in her therapist voice.
"The girls will still scream, probably even more so once you've lost
the Midge vibe. You don't have to
live out a Shaggy song any more...be yourself!
You've got us to help you through it".
And
with that, Ben jumped up, in defiance of the self-enforced Midge rules he had
been living under. "Has the S
Club set started yet?"
Cindy and Lori-Beth looked at each other - the old Ben was back.
Things could be worse you know
How?
How what?
How could they be worse?