My Fan letter to Britney Spears
Do you want to write Britney? Send fanmail to:
Britney Beat
Dept. Fanmail
P.O. Box 192730
San Franciso, CA 94119-2730
Dear Britney,
I think that you are the best. Every time you come on TV, I like you even more than before. When I first saw your CD on the shelves a couple years ago, I saw something in you, something that connected us. That kind of connection doesn't happen everyday. I've never felt this way about anyone else.
Whenever someone tries to make fun of you for some reason, I just get this fury inside. Whenever I see Christina Auguilera on TV, singing like a damn fool, with her notes going all over the place, I just want to rip her head off, and put a TV on her shoulders (a TV that actually fits her body) and I'll have the remote control, so whenever she starts to sing, I can press the mute button so I never have to hear her awful screaming she calls singing. But I wouldn't kill her or anything, because I want her to walk around and hear everyone say, "What the hell is that TV doing on her head?" That and I don't want to go to jail. There is no crime yet for replacing heads with TV's yet. I checked.
I love your town, Kentwood, Louisiana. Your house is so pretty. I especially like how that oak tree in the backyard is really easy to climb and you can get a really good view of your bathroom and bedroom. But you really should go to college, ever think of coming to Indiana? They have a really good music school. We can maybe live together or something. I promise I wouldn't tell anyone you were living with me, so you could have total peace in our house.
I think you should know that I have decided not to see any girls down here. I feel that you are the only girl for me, and so the only girl I will ever show my love to will be you. I know you're giving some love to Justin Timberlake, but I understand the pressures of the Music Industry, I do read Rolling Stone. Don't worry though, I know you can't really break up with Justin due to all the media craziness, but I'll see to it that he's taken out of the equation. Well I can't wait to hear from you. Maybe you could give me your IM screenname or something. Or maybe next time our schedules don't conflict we can meet. Well I've enclosed all my info, like cell, pager, email, home phone, dorm phone, alternate email, screenname, P.O. Box, Home address, dorm address, class schedule, map of IU, dorm room #, and a schedule of where I am at all times. I can't wait to see you.
with anticipating the day our eyes meet love,
Supratuck
past Supratuck speaks