Working with a great number of abuse survivors, a woman called Lenore Walker found a common pattern which is now known as the cycle of violence. This cycle is sometimes useful to demonstrate for women the pattern of violence.   Be aware that the cycle of violence does not apply to all violent partnerships.  Each phase can differ in length and individual factors, withsome couples experiencing the entire cycle several times in a day, and others tainge weeks to complete one cycle.

Build-up phase:
This time is characterised by increasing tension between the couple.

Stand-over phase:
The offender uses aggression and violence to frighten and control his/her partner.  Following the assault the offender moves into the remorse phase.

Remorse phase:
The offender feels ashamed of his/her behaviour, tries to minimise it and blames it on the victim (eg "She knows I get mad when she does that" or "It was only a bit of a shove").   The victim may go along with his/her partner because to do otherwise could mean acknowledging the terror and the danger with which he/she is living.

Pursuit phase:
The offender attempts to convince his/her partner that he needs him/her.   If the buy-back attempts seem not to be working he/her is likely to resort to threats and violence.  This can be a life-threatening time for victims as many are murdered in this phase.

Honeymoon phase:
There is a high degree of intimacy, as the couple cling to each other after the near separation.   Eventually, and sometimes very quickly, the cycle resumes itself.

(Source Lenore Walker)

 

 

 

PLEASE NOTE:
I do not claim to be an expert, nor am I a psychologist or
social worker - I am a survivor, and I know what it was
to be a victim.