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090401 » what gets my
beef
10:00pm
What gets my beef? I'll tell you!
I hate group work. HATE HATE HATE!.
I am a good worker. I went from Lazy to
Super efficient over the school holidays, and now
I am totally ready to rock. I have my
assignments done before the due date, which was
really good because it was expensive running off
and paying $40 to see a doctor to get a lousy
medical certificate for a late assignment.
That’s right, I was never sick – I
blamed it on pms or something. YAY FOR
WOMANHOOD!
Anyway, my beef with group work is
that I am doing all the work! ALL OF IT!! And it’s
pissing me off. Because I am the leader of
the group. ME! I know, I freaked as
much as you did when I realised this. I did
not really have much choice. Its not like I
wanted to be the main person. You see, up
until last week we had 5 people, and now we have
6. 4 of them bearly speak English, one of
which i think smokes waaay too much pot (judging
from his ideas). The 5th girl is negative. I call
her "Miss-the-glass-is-half-empty". I
get to class (1 hour late – blues clues was
on!) and I look around. 3 people turned up.
Ok, so, I recognised two of them, but there was
an extra girl there. So, I turned around:
Me: (points) who the hell
are you?
Girl: I'm
“Blahblah”
Me: Right.
What are you doing here?
Girl: I’m
in this group.
Me: Since
when?
Girl: ummm.
Me: its week
7 you know, it’s due next week.
Girl: Yeah I
know.
Me: that
brings me back to my other question – what
are you doing here?
Poor girl. I gave her shit
for the remaining 2 hours. I know, I sound
like a cow, but there is NO WAY that she is
getting grades for my work. NO WAY!
She can kiss my arse…not that I'm bitter at
all.
Ok I am hell bitter! RAAHH!
11:52pm
Another thing that gets my beef is
food. It tastes soooo soooo sweet but makes
you fat (says she who’s stuffing her face
with mini Easter eggs as we speak). I have
come up with yet another theory that is pretty
good actually. I even made directions.
1)
What to eat? I know, I will have *insert food
here*.
2)
Is it eater-friendly? If yes, proceed to
question 3, if not, put it back and return to
question 1.
3)
Eat your food slowly. You have to do this
so your brain registers that you are eating
otherwise you end up having. 3.. or.. 4.. or 11
mini Easter eggs.
How to tell if your food
is eater-friendly:
How much work do I have to do to
work *insert above mentioned food* off?
Rate on a scale of 1 –5, one being easy to
work off and 5 being really hard “straight
to your hips” type of food. Proceed to
part B.
How much enjoyment do I get from
eating it? Does the taste equal the
satisfaction of that sweet sweet succulent chocky
egg? Again, rate from 1-5, one being
totally irresistible and 5 being you’d
rather eat dirt.
Then you measure up. If the
satisfaction of eating it is greater than the
work-off load, stuff your face. If the
succulency is as big as the exercise factor, make
a decision. And if the exercise factor is
greater than the satisfaction, you obviously have
crap taste in food, but eat up 'cause it is
healthy!
Proudly supported by Super Sarah’s
Theory Centre ™.
Use only as
directed, do not sue Super Sarah if any symptoms
persist, or you get fatter.
12:17pm
What totally gets my beef is
packing.. I hate it!! I am the kind of person who
chucks a bunch of shit in a case and plays a
situation by ear. Except, having done this
billions of times, I pull all my clothes out and
realise nothing matches!! Its so frustrating
because I look like a retard, you know?
Therefore, I begin packing.
I chuck the necessities in: 15 pairs of undies,
mooks skirt, 3 pairs of Calvin Klein jeans, a
casual jacket, a dressy jacket, a couple of
woolly jumpers.
“Hmmmmm” I ponder.
I had heaps of room left - time to splurge.
So, I go through my closet and chuck in five tees,
three more jumpers, a skivvy, “Ooer a top!
Blue or black? What the hell” I say to
myself, “pleeennttyy of room!” so I
chuck them both in. More stuff is chucked
in then I turn around to zip it up.
“CRAP!” I say,
desperately trying to squish all my clothes into
the case. I do a little more squishing,
tugging and pulling on zippers. By this
stage, I have gotten used to the notion of taking
all these clothes.
“GET IN YOU BITCH!” I
scream, jumping up and down on the case, and then
it hits me. WHAT ABOUT SHOES?!
So the episode starts again, this
time adding shoes. The packing cycle is a
vicious, vicious cycle.
Does the word “beef”
even exist in that sort of context? It does
now. Welcome to my world.
What I am in love with today:
The song “Tiny Dancer” By Elton John on
the Almost Famous soundtrack. I love it! I am
going to have its babies.
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