Top Ten Ways You Can Tell You're Playing A Really Bad Team
By Alisa Moore
(1.)The longest winning streak for the team has never occured.
(2.)The team uses charcoal to write the numbers on their shirts.
(3.)They call your practice field the "Promised Land".
(4.)Their coach is also the team manager, trainer, scorekeeper, cheerleader, sponser, team parent,etc.
(5.)The team bus is really a former U-Haul truck with a busted spring.
(6.)Tryouts for their team consist of reconizing what a softball is.
(7.)They have cardboard catchers gear.
(8.)The team refuses to play unless they are allowed a 10 minute smoke break after every inning.
(9.)They want to use a mule as a pinch runner.
(10.)The team water cooler is really a styrofoam beer chest with the word 'BAIT' written on the side.
Top Ten Ways To Tell Your Coach Doesn't Like You
(1.)He/She denies ever knowing you.
(2.)He/She asks you NOT to come to pep rallies.
(3.)He/She asks you to be the backstop for the new pitcher.
(4.)At the team garage sale he/she puts a 'For Sale' sign on you.
(5.)After trying to teach you how to play, he/she takes early retirement.
(6.)You are known to your coach as "Hey you!"
(7.)Your coach begins to use words NOT found in the dictionary to describe your performance.
(8.)He/She leaves your name off the softball programs.
(9.)He/She volunteers you for the wrestling team.
(10.)You always miss the team bus. And it's not because you're always late.
