From: Suzy (
Subject: Re: everybody leaves
Date: 2003-03-04 08:01:17 PST

"Nicu nurse2000" wrote in message

> My pdoc asked me yesterday morning if I was closer to suicide than I was. I
> said yeah....what I was thinking was "You have no fucking idea just how close I
> am". The house is empty now. Everything is cleaned up and in storage. I'm
> out. In my notebook that I keep with me, are letters for everyone that I want
> to say anything to. Talked to my oldest son last night and they are doing
> great.
> Now I just keep having this nagging feeling that everything is done and why
> should I bother hanging around any longer?
> Sorry for hijacking the thread...
> Grace.

I don't really know you, but for some reason, I wish I could be with you
right now. I have never ever wanted to see anyone die ever before, in fact,
I never even wanted to see a dead body. But for some reason, and I think
its quite odd of me, I wish I could be with you when you do it. I don't
know why it's you and not somebody else. Perhaps I look up to you, as an
older sister maybe. I am just feeling so alone right now. Alone in my
apartment. Alone in the world. I would give anything just to have a
shoulder to cry on... even if it belonged to someone who was no longer

I'm sorry this is so weird.