From: Suzy (
Subject: I am not sure what is going on
Date: 2003-03-06 06:43:14 PST

I woke up this morning with about 3,000 things going through my head. What
were they? I have no clue. Just mindless thoughts. Thoughts that didn't
even deserve to be called thoughts, because they weren't really anything at
all. My mind was racing nevertheless.

Unsettled. What is going on? I had this sudden urge to jump up. Now what?
I did what my body told me to do, now what? If you're going to give me
instructions, follow through.

Am I going crazy or is this just a side effect. Day nine of the Lexapro. I
leave for New York tomorrow. Any access to the tops tall buildings? Or
would that be too traumatic for my boyfriend? I guess I should wait until I
get to California... see my family. That's next week. Do it where I grew
up. Have the home field advantage. Someone will already be taking care of
my cats here in Florida.

I am restless. If I could find some way to calm me down RIGHT NOW, I would
oblige. My mind is still racing. "Woke up this morning, they let me know
you were gone. Suzanne, the plans they made put an end to you." I am
Suzanne, the friend of James Taylor. I killed myself.