 By Robin Elaine Williams
Mostly what I think of when I think of my dad was his great capacity for loving and giving of himself. The people who knew him will remember him as a big man. But what I don't know if everyone realized, was that he had a heart big enough to wrap around us all. From the time he was a child he was needed. And he worked hard to take care of others without a thought for himself. Sally said to me recently, "He didn't have a selfish bone in his body," and I believe that to be true. Dad was the most generous man I knew. If there was anything Dad had that we needed, we didn't even have to ask. He and my mother raised a family, as the song says, by living on love. But, of course, you do need the necessities, and there was a lot of work to be done, and at times it was hard to find. By the time he was 24 he had six small children to take care of. He did many, many odd jobs to make ends meet, even hauling ashes for people for a dollar a day. He never owned a car until he was 28 years old, and many a day walked from Mt. Vernon to Winthrop to work for little money, and then walked home again. By the time I came along things were still tough, but I never realized it. We had large gardens that I played and worked in, not realizing at the time that all this was to help put food on the table. And all the wood he sawed and split was to keep us warm. To me, we seemed rich. And that's because my Dad and Mom made us feel rich with love. Oh, Dad had a temper. He was quick to heat up, but fast to cool down. And he hated anyone to be mad at him - he was almost always quick with an apology. But I know Dad wouldn't want us to be sad. He'd want us to remember the good times. And there were many. Things that might not have seemed fun or funny years ago, these things will become fond memories, I'm sure. Things like going frogging, and weeding the gardens together. Things like the time Dad and Bob got stranded on the ice while smelting, lost their lantern down the hole, burned all the wood and even their chairs till they thought they'd freeze to death. Well, that always seemed funny to me. Things like Mom's encounter with a skunk one night at the back door, and Dad and I sitting and laughing with clothespins on our noses. Or cleaning out the septic tank manually, and well, we all know the rest of that story. And if you don't , just ask Bob or Roger about it. Or when he and Uncle Grover thought they might go into the chicken business. Or the times he and Mom whould argue and he'd jump in his car and squeal his tires down the road like he was never coming back. Usually he went to Uncle Sonny's to go fishing for a while. Then he'd be back and it would be like nothing ever happened. And Roger remembers cleaning up the bowl of eggs Mom threw at Dad when she didn't want to be cooking them, and Dad gave her a kiss at the wrong moment. Poor Roger always seemed to be in the way of those battles. And when I was little we had a frying pan with a strange dent in it. I didn't find out till years later that Mom had tossed that at Dad too, but missed and hit the refrigerator. and Mom deciding to clean the kitchen register, forgetting she'd taken out the grate, stepping into the hole, and yelling for help. Dad looked up from his newspaper and said, "Well, where the hell are ya?" Then, after realizing she was not hurt, telling us all he thought he'd have to go get his come-along to get her out of there! All these things are so funny now. And the things that did seem fun - like Christmas mornings. And speaking of Christmas, George likes to recall the time he and dad were out hunting and Dad spied the perfect Christmas tree. Well, since they didn't have a saw, they ended up shooting it down. At least they didn't come home empty handed. And most of us will remember Dad winning all those turkeys at Thanksgiving. One year it seemed he won about a dozen. I think we all put his name in 'cause we never won. But you know, he gave most of them away. And how he loved stocking up on all kinds of food - poor Mom, she never had room for everything. And how he loved his scratch tickets, and playing beano. It seemed every time I went with him, he'd have me get the cards, then I'd let him pick the ones he wanted and he always picked the big winner. But when that happened I think he always paid me back what I'd lost. I think we all loved hearing Dad tell old stories, and all the laughter he brought to us with his jokes, and things like doing the hula. Of course we'll all miss things about Dad. the sound of his voice, his teasing, his funny sayings. Roger said he'll miss the little things - like even at his age dad would still call him and tell him he'd better get home, there was a big storm coming. But more than anything I think most of us will miss the singing. Dad loved country music and he loved to sing. He had a wonderful voice too. Dad always sang - with the t.v., the radio, riding in the car, or just sitting at home. Sometimes Mom would say, "Oh, all he does is sing!" But I know she really loved to hear it. The last time I heard Dad sing to Mom was in the hospital, and he sang, "Let Me call you Sweetheart." With all of his great capacity for love, the love of Dad's life was Mom. Even when he was in the hospital and couldn't get out of bed, if I told him Mom wasn't feeling well, he'd say, "Well, I better go home and take care of her." They've had their squabbles as I've said, and Mom always said it's what kept them together all those years. But I know it wasn't really that, it was the great love they shared. I hope everyone shares my belief that Dad's in a better place now. He's in no pain, he's young again, and can walk and run with the best of them. I think he's with all his loved ones who've gone before. Up in heaven fishing, hunting, clamming, and all the other things he loved to do and hadn't gotten to do in so long. And I believe he hasn't really left us. He'll be watching over us all, shining a guiding light for us 'til we're with him again. I just hope everyone knows in their heart how Dad loved us all in his. And because dad couldn't afford many gifts, he gave us his love, the greatest gift of all. And now, Dad, and I know you're listening, we decided to play a song we thought you'd like. It was one of your very favorites, and you sang it a lot. Some of it even reminds me of you. You were mighty tall and handsome, may your name forever stand. Your earthly race is over, but may you be carried home to victory. Have a great ride, Dad. Next "Wabash Cannonball" was played.
JACK FRANCIS WILLIAMS July 18, 1926-August 20,2000 To My Father: Dad.... Oh, how I miss your baby blues, And all those times we shopped for shoes! How I miss the jokes we had Some pretty good, some pretty bad! How I miss you on the phone, To say it's bad out, just stay home! How I miss you at the Bingo halls, Your booming voice saying,"Shake those balls"! How I miss your tight embrace, Your scratchy cheek against my face. How I miss the songs you'd sing, And how your voice did make them ring! How I miss your crazy dance, I wondered if you'd lose your pants! And the tears that you would share with me, When something sad was on TV. How I miss all those stops, To save a nickel, that's my Pops! I miss having you with me in the car, On just short trips or driving far. I miss your tender, gentle heart, And your story of how I got my start. The funny faces that you made, The times we fished, the games we played. I miss you daddy, oh so much, My go to guy when in a clutch. But most of all I miss your smile, But wait, I've had it all the while. I've had all these things and more you see, You're not that far away from me. I only have to look inside, For in my heart you do reside. Love Always, Robin Double Background courtesy of THE Background Boutique. |
