shmily
My grandparents were married for over half a century, and played their
own special game from the time they had met each other. The goal of their
game was to write the word "shmily" in a surprise place for the other to
find. They took turns leaving "shmily" around the house, and as soon as one
of then discovered it, it was their turn to hide it once more. They dragged
"shmily" with their fingers through the sugar and flour containers to await
whoever was preparing the next meal. They smeared it in the dew on the windows
overlooking the patio where my grandma always fed us warm, homemade pudding
with blue food coloring. "Shmily" was written in the steam left on the mirror
after a hot shower, where it would reappear bath after bath. At one point,
my grandmother even unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper to leave shmily
on the very last sheet. There was no end to the places "shmily" would pop
up. Little notes with "shmily" scribbled hurriedly were found on dashboards
and car seats,or taped to steering wheels. The notes were stuffed inside
shoes and left under pillows. "Shmily" was written in the dust upon the mantel
and traced in the ashes of the fireplace. This mysterious word was as much
a part of my grandparents' house as the furniture.It took me a long time
before I was able to fully appreciate mygrandparent's game. Skepticism has
kept me from believing in true love-one that is pure an enduring. However,
I never doubted my grandparents' relationship. They had love down pat. It
was more than their flirtatious little games; it was a way of life. Their
relationship was based on a devotion and passionate affection which not everyone
is lucky enough to experience. Grandma and Grandpa held hands every chance
they could. They stole kisses as they bumped into each other in their tiny
kitchen. They finished each other's sentences and shared the daily crossword
puzzle and word jumble. My grandma whispered to me about how cute my grandpa
was, how handsome an old man he had grown to be. She claimed that she really
knew "how to pick 'em." Before every meal they bowed heads and gave thanks,
marveling at their blessings: a wonderful family, good fortune, and each
other.
But there was a dark cloud in my grandparents' life: my grandmother
had breast cancer. The disease had first appeared 10 years earlier. As always,
Grandpa was with her every step of the way. He comforted her in their yellow
room, painted that color so she could always be surrounded by sunshine, even
when she was too sick to go outside. Now the cancer was once again attacking
her body. With the help of a cane and my grandfather's steady hand, they
still went to church every morning. But my grandmother grew steadily weaker
until, finally, she could not leave the house anymore. For a while, Grandpa
would go to church praying to God to watch over his wife. Then one day, what
we all dreaded finally happened. Grandma was gone.
"Shmily." It was scrawled in yellow on the pink ribbons of my
grandmother's funeral boquet. As the crowd thinned and the last mourners
turned to leave, my aunts, uncles, cousins, and other family members came
forward and gathered around Grandma one last time. Grandpa stepped up to
my grandmother's casket and, taking a shaky breath, he began to sing to
her.
Through his tears and grief, the song came, a deep and throaty lullaby.
Shaking with my own sorrow, I will never forget that moment. For I knew then
that, although I couldn't begin to fathom the depth of their love, I had
been priviliged to witness its unmatched beauty.
S-h-m-i-l-y: See How Much I Love You.