Chapter 1: Mistakes Made in Ignorance
Saede stood up, wiping the sweat from her eyes. She surveyed the apartment with satisfaction. Everything that she no longer needed had been sold or given away. The money from that and the nest egg she’d managed to squirrel away had been more than enough to purchase a certain number of supplies she thought she might need on Dathmoir.
The pile in the middle of the living room was small, but that had been the point. She went over her mental checklist again, positive that she hadn’t missed anything. Slowly over the course of the last several days she had whittled down that list, until everything that she needed would fit into a military style backboard. It had taken a lot of willpower to drop some of the items, but she’d completely stripped the pack of anything unnecessary. The last item to come off of the list was still sitting, looking rather forlorn on the floor a few feet from the pile. A small, well loved pink stuffed bantha looked at her reproachfully with small button eyes. She’d known from the beginning that she really shouldn’t waste the room on it, but it had taken her three days to finally extract it from the pile.
She walked over, scooping the stuffed toy off of the floor. Holding it up to her face, she sighed softly, chewing on her lower lip absently. Saede didn’t really know what to do with the silly little thing. It shouldn’t really bother me that much leave it behind, she mused to herself, staring into its furry pink face. I mean, come on… it’s just a stuff animal. But it was hard. The only thing she would be bringing that wasn’t essential for survival was the necklace Nico had left with her the morning he’d said goodbye.
A knock on the door interrupted her reverie.
Who could that be? Clint is out of town, the twins are on assignment… no one else knows I’m here.
Putting the bantha down softly, she headed over to the door, pushing the button that would slide the aperture open. The surprise was blatantly apparent on her face when she saw who was standing on the other side of the door.
Greenbacca, a wookie she and Nico had met months ago on their first trip to Dathomir hovered on the other side, the expression on his face anything but pleased. His deep blue eyes met Saede’s then flicked to the empty apartment and the pile behind her. There was no mistaking the content or purpose of that stack and the military back carrier that lay on the floor next to it.
He rumbled out a question, his gaze coming back to her face. Greenbacca had a vocal implant that would translate anything he said to a variety of languages. But he would often turn it off when around people he was comfortable with. It was a handy piece of tech, but it tended to be a little on the annoying side. For one thing, the grating, mechanical voice spoke right over his own, making both his own words and the translation difficult to understand at times. It also had a tendency to mistranslate certain things, especially if he used an aphorism particular to his culture that often didn’t have a good translation to begin with. As flattered as she was, being among the people Greenbacca felt comfortable around, Saede often wished that he’d leave it on when they were speaking. She didn’t understand Shyriiwook as well as Nicodemus did, and often had to struggle to figure out exactly what he was saying.
This time however, the message was quite clear.
“Yes, I’m going on a trip.”
His second growl was a little harder to interpret, but she was fairly sure she understood. She wracked her mind quickly. If he found out that she was going back to Dathomir, he’d either want to come with her, or try to talk her out of it. Well, maybe not talk her out of it so much as just pin her arms to her side and dangle her upside down until she agreed not to go. Nico had said that Greenbacca felt he owed the two of them a life debt for helping him escape from Dathomir. She didn’t really understand the full extent of what the meant for the wookie, but she did know it meant that she and Nico had acquired their own personal shadow. She liked the auburn furred creature, and thoroughly enjoyed his company. But the fact of the matter was, this was something she had to do on her own. And with Nico already gone, it seemed as though she were now the soul target of Greenbacca’s attention.
“I’m going to Tatooine for a bit of a break. I thought I’d go see my family, I’ve been out of contact for so long….”
Greenbacca eyed the contents of the pile on the floor suspiciously, before voicing his opinion on that matter. He stepped past Saede into the living room, gently picking up a green camouflaged poncho folded neatly atop the pile.
Saede found herself turning a bit red being caught in a lie like that. Before she could open her mouth though to try to smooth things over, the wookie spouted off with a long string of grunts, grumbles, and growls, culminating with him rolling up the poncho and starting to pack everything into back carrier.
She just watched him for a few moments before being able to fully understand what he had just said.
“You want me to go with you to Kashyyyk? Isn’t the planet blockaded?” It was a poor excuse, and she knew it. Saede didn’t doubt for a moment that Greenbacca could get them on and off of the planet unseen. It was a huge honor, she knew, for a wookie to bring a human into one of their villages. After the Empire’s ruthless subjugation of the non human races, wookies chief among them, they hardly trusted any humans with knowledge of the location of their homes. Her mind raced, trying to think of a way out without insulting her friend.
Greenbacca put the last piece of equipment into the carrier, everything impeccably packed. He growled a reply, picking up the bantha off the floor and looking at her expectantly.
She knew he’d say that it was safe enough, but that brought her little comfort. It interested her though that he said he was going back to speak with his father. Greenbacca had left home years ago, and while the details were shady, Saede knew that it had something to do with a fight with his father. The wookie didn’t like to talk about it terribly much, and she’d never pried, but her curiosity was piqued. Saede and Nico had spent the last few months helping the wookie rebuild his life after his stint with the Empire. She felt more than a little responsible for him after that time, and wondered if this would be the last step towards him being able to live out the rest of his life without them. Then, when she’d seen him settle in, Saede could leave, head out to Dathomir as she had planned.
Nodding slowly, she took the bantha from him with a weak smile.
“Of course I’ll go to Kashyyyk with you.”
*****
When they dropped out of hyperspace a few days later, she let out a low sigh of relief. Saede had always hated space travel, especially the feeling of being in hyperspace. She always felt so cut off there, as though nothing existed for the hours or days except her and whomever she was flying with. It was a disconcerting feeling, to say the least, and she was able to breathe a little more easily knowing that for the moment she was free of that sensation.
Most of the trip had been fairly quiet. Greenbacca had told her stories about his family, his parents, aunts, uncles, cousins…. It seemed as though the wookie must be related at least peripherally to every other being on the planet. She listened closely, trying to keep the names straight so that when she met them she’d at least have something to go on. Sorra, Shirra, Borro; she soon lost track, but tried nonetheless. He spoke often of his blood brother, Borro, and at least that name she knew she’d be able to remember.
He’d brought up Nicodemus once, but when she almost burst out in tears, he quickly changed the subject, telling her instead about the worshyr trees. He didn’t mention Nico again, and Saede was thankful for that. The very last thing she needed was a reminder of why she was here and not on Dantooine, living the life that they had created there.
She didn’t need the reminder of why she was heading to Dathomir in the first place.
*****
Darkness had fallen, and Saede lay in bed, waiting for everything to quiet down. Greenbacca hadn’t been quite ready to face his father it seemed, but had decided to spend the first night back at the home of Borro.
When they’d arrived, Borro had been waiting for them at the landing site. He’d rushed at Greenbacca so quickly she didn’t even have time to breath. The sight of two large wookies practically tackling each other was truly impressive. After the initial shock, and now knowing that the other wookie wasn’t trying to kill Greenbacca, she leaned back on the landing gears of the ship, smiling softly to herself. He would be alright, she knew he would be.
The day had passed by in a blur, and Saede had hardly noticed any of the beauty or sheer wonder that surrounded her in this place. They had arrived late in the afternoon, and so headed directly over to where Borro lived, taking in a meal before the two wookies had launched into a conversation about everyone in the family, the neighbors, playing catch up on people Greenbacca had once known. She lost the thread of the conversation quickly however; they simply spoke too fast for her to follow.
She had begged out of the conversation eventually as the sun went down, pleading exhaustion from the trip in. They’d nodded to her momentarily, then continued on with their animated catch-up session. Saede noted as she headed into the room that had earlier been indicated to her, that Greenbacca hadn’t once mentioned what he’d been doing all of this time. Shrugging silently to herself, she crawled into the huge bed. He’d talk about it when he was ready after all.
Hours passed, and finally she heard to two of them retire, putting out the lights in the common room. She waited quietly until a few hours before dawn. Then, quickly she slipped out of bed silently, sliding the pack over her shoulder and exiting the house. But before she left, she placed the stuffed bantha on the common room table. She didn’t know what else to do with it. And perhaps Greenbacca would throw it out the moment he saw it, but at least it had more of a chance here than with her on Dathomir.
It took her awhile to figure out how to get back down to the landing pad, but eventually she found her way there as the tiny slice of visible sky began to turn a deeper shade of blue, indicating the inevitable sunrise. She was in luck, and managed to talk her way onto a smuggler ship that was about to blast out of there after having delivered the materials the wookies would need for quite a number of bowcasters.
As they blasted out of the trees, Saede looked back down over the swaying canopy, a pang of regret coursing through her. She hated leaving Greenbacca like that, and felt a deep resounding ache in her chest as the ship lept into hyperspace. She’d probably never see the wookie again, and she wondered if he’d ever think of her. Or if he’d ever forgive her for leaving in the manner she had. That was probably the more accurate question, she thought to herself with a grimace. Still, she wished him nothing but luck, and fervently hoped that one day they would meet again.
*****
It was dark when Saede stepped off of the shuttle. Not that it terribly surprised her (this place was always dark in her dreams), but it didn’t help waive the feeling of dread that had been building in her chest. Since the ship had dropped out of hyperspace and Dathomir loomed up high on the view screen, the sense of panic had slowly welled up, filling her until it was hard to breath.
She paused at the bottom of the ramp, taking several deep breaths. The few other beings on the shuttle flowed around her, one Bothan giving her a particularly dirty look before disappearing into the shadows of the outpost. Hiking the pack farther up onto her back, she headed into the outpost, towards the single opening in the perimeter fence.
No one stopped her, or even looked twice at the lone woman heading out into the forests. This was the kind of place where no one saw anything, no one heard anything, and no one cared just who didn’t come back. A few feet from the first trees that surrounded the outpost, Saede turned half way, looking back at the hazy lights of the installation. She hadn’t said it out loud yet, and perhaps hadn’t even really acknowledged it in her own head…. But she didn’t anticipate coming back from this. Somewhere, deep inside, she didn’t plan on living through this trip. It was either Dathomir or her, and Saede didn't know if she had the strength to win.
Continue on to Chapter 2
Note: ^ is unfinished. Thank you for your patience
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