I will speak of Your testimonies also before kings, and will not be ashamed.
Psalm 119:46

The Freight Train and The Hog Lard

Down through the field and a stand of pine trees was the railroad tracks. The tracks were of the infamous H&S Railroad, known as the "Tri-weekly". The tracks were at a steep incline and the "Tri-weekly" had to have up a good head of steam in order to make it to the top of the hill where the tracks leveled off. It took all that old locomotive had in her bailers to make it to the top.

Many times I'd go through the field and woods and wait for the train to hit the hill and when it wasn't traveling even as fast as a mule can walk I'd run out of the woods and catch a ride to any of the little towns on the trains route. I was never caught doing this because it was so easy to get off the train at the next stop and catch it again if the need be.

While waiting on the train to hit the slow place, one day, I started to wonder what would happen if the tracks were real slick, just before they reached the top of the hill. Already knowing what happens to cars and trucks on the slick clay hills after a good heavy rain.

Everyone in the country at that time used hog lard in the kitchen. All the people in the country then raised and butchered their own hogs. Hog lard was the end result of cookin' out cracklin's. There was most always a can or two sitting around that had gone rank and wasn't fit for anything other than greasing farm impliments, and railroad tracks as I was very soon to learn.

I got my hands on a five gallon lard can, full of rank lard, without arousing any suspicion and hid it in the woods next to the train tracks. Phase one of my plan...once again...was now into effect.

The train usually tried to run that part of its route on Wednesday around eight AM in the morning. Though it would be close, if I hurried with all my morning chores, gettin' there about thirty minutes before the train started up the hill would be easy enough.

Sure enough, things worked out just right for me. It rained just enough on Tuesday night to keep us out of the fields on Wednesday. That morning I got all my chores done early and headed through the field for my appointment with the old faithful, "Tri-Weekly".

When I reached the woods, my hog lard was waiting for me right where I had stashed it earlier. Retrieving the lard I proceeded to the tracks and commend to apply a good heavy coat of lard up and down the rails, right at the place it would have to work the hardest to make the grade. Hiding in the woods I watched as that old locomotive chugged up the hill and hit the place that was coated with hog lard, what a mess. When it hit the lard it would lose three feet for every one it gained! This went on until it finally was able to burn all the lard off the tracks and go on down the line. I had several good chuckles about it for several years after ther day the the "Tri-Weekly" met the hog lard.

Author Bobby Gene Bottoms

© Copyright 2005 Bobby G. Bottoms

Special Thanks to Graphics by Irene