One day, there lived a happy li'l hooker by the name of Bettie. Bettie was a jolly and gay young lass, the happiest ho of all. She sucked a jolly good dick, and she knew it. But the greatest joy in her life was her pimp.
One day, there lived a happy li'l hooker by the name of Bettie. Bettie was a jolly and gay young lass, the happiest ho of all. She sucked a jolly good dick, and she knew it. But the greatest joy in her life was her pimp.
The pimp walked into the alley and saw her standing by the dumpster.
"Amber, why aren't you givin' me my money?" he said.
"Walter!" she screamed, "I'm gonna kill you!" Then he turned to pull out his gun; he was going to kill that fucking whore. She lunged at him and stabbed down into his kidney.
"You dirty bitch! Ain't you got no respect?" he cried as he began to bleed. "I took good care of yo' filthy ass!"
"Fuck you, goddamn nigger," said the whore, the sixteen year old girl who had turned to the streets. "You came to me and said you could help, but instead you got me hooked on heroin, sellin' my ass for smack! I'm glad you're gonna die," she sighed. "At least once you're going down, for good." At that, he coughed and tried to speak. The only audible sounds were gurgles, tortured and gagged. As he opened his mouth, he twitched, fell back and died. "Bye bye, you fuckin' asshole," Amber laughed," See you in hell."
Amber laughed wickedly as she skipped away from the pimp's bleeding corpse, her face glimmering under the neon with blood and jizz. She was HAPPY!
but what she was blissfully ignorant of was -
...he was chasing that bitch. Yup. Undead Pimp. You knew it was coming. But, unbeknownst to our Zombified Hero, a phat geep came squealin' round dat corna YO! An they was all up in that shit - PACKIN' ROUNDS, yaknowhutIsayin'?? It was a drive-by, yo! And that muthafucking undead fukka AAYND that looseass HO BOF got they's hedz BLOWNDAFUKOFF!
But meanwhile, in Suburbia...
Suburbia. Sun shining with disturbing cheer. Well-kept gardens, uniform trees reaching for a nonexistant realm in the sky. The leaves are falling quickly, so early... There is a grey tint to the edges, creeping in spidery wisps through the once vivid color. A breeze is flowing through Suburbia, a dark yet subtle hint of decay.
There is a mother packing a lunch into a brown bag. Through the window, a white picket fence, cookie-cutter homes, the road winding away.
There are bones and blood and feathers scattering in the cellar. The shadows of the fire flicker across the wall. Elias looks up from the darkness.
There is a car speeding towards Suburbia. Slipping in with the stale breeze.
And then there came a bright light of happy goodness shining down from the great beyond and lo' and behold! There standing for all to see was the phosphorescent, billious form of Carl Marx! And he spake thusly:
"Abide in the ways of peace, youngins, for that is the way of all human greatness!"
Those damn Commies, however, took the beam o' goodniss for an attack from the Ronald Reagan Memorial Death Star Attack Laser Platform Satellite and they nuked the holy hell outta the whole gamdamn planet, with the help o' their brothers in arms and arch-nemeses, the Good Ol' U.S. of frickkin' A!
The End