Yes we want our readers to die. Yes, especially iF we know you.
You are the ones who have been reading our little textboxers (yes, all the men in Ohtori wear textboxers, some of the ladies do too).
We told you to stop. But you didn't.
Remember, Kozue knows what you wear.
She knows what we all wear.
She knows it all.
She knows what the boys wear.
She knowa what her brother wears. Hell, they wear the same thing.
She knows what everyone wears.
She does all of our laundry. She sucks at chess.
Now a moment:
That was not shit, that was rocky road ICECREAM!
It was rocky, the road to heaven is rocky...
so the road to heaven is rockyroad.
Which is in someone's ass.
Which does need ass kissing.
Or a lot of harnesses and a diving board.
Ring your bells everyone,
I'm gonna get my wings.
and now to paraphrase.
miew miew miew miew
DEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHH!
miew miew miew miew miew corpse mie miew miew meiw meiw mewi miew We know it was you in the text box....we put up an IP scanner, we did. miew miew miew miew miew.
because, yah, kittens are cute. But do you really think that cute things are going
through their minds...? no, what they are thinking about is, hey, that kinda looks like a nipple.
I don't think I have to tell you what a sick bastard you have to be to find that cute.
A random note. I just talked Koto into kissing my door. Now really what is up with that?
HEY all you available hot people, Koto is va va voom, and blond. She is only seeing my door at the moment
and will turn red if you look at her long enough.
PLOT:
First we need an intro.
Then an initial incident.
Then rising action.
Duo: I thought you don’t write lemons.
Climax:
The Climax blushes and runs away with the falling action and the conclusion.
So we are left with rising, always rising.
that looks painful, actually.
PLOT sequel:
Introduction...read outloud with southern-redneck twang:
There was once a really pretty pony, it liked to pranced in feel-ds of gren. I like ponys. Daddy says that there are pony in ma glue. I like glue. It smells good. Smelling is nice. . .it reminds me of a story: There was once a really pretty pony, it liked to pranced in feel-ds of gren. I like ponys. Daddy says that there are pony in ma glue. I like glue. It smells good. Smelling is nice. . .it reminds me of a story: There was once a really pretty pony, it liked to pranced in feel-ds of gren. I like ponys. Daddy says that there are pony in ma glue. I like glue. It smells good. Smelling is nice. . .it reminds me of a story: There was once a really pretty pony, it liked to pranced in feel-ds of gren. I like ponys. Daddy says that there are pony in ma glue. I like glue. It smells good. Smelling is nice. . .it reminds me of a story: There was once a really pretty pony, it liked to pranced in feel-ds of gren. I like ponys. Daddy says that there are pony in ma glue. I like glue. It smells good. Smelling is nice. . .it reminds me of a story: There was once a really pretty pony, it liked to pranced in feel-ds of gren. I like ponys. Daddy says that there are pony in ma glue. I like glue. It smells good. Smelling is nice. . .it reminds me of a story:
Conclusion:
And then they all died. But they were all bad.
Kimber smiles happily, Duo smiles happily, something that should not happen in the story, does not. We rock that way.
The eb.
And now the flow.
July 2003,
God, is there more to this? Is there a point in continuing. We don't think so. But have
decided that, you, our no longer existing audience should be better able to view the unbridled horror
that is our minds. Oh the bridling. We have FOUND your greatest fear. Yes we did. there is
no longer a point in denying it. And Kotori has left me to fetch a cola and is not
back, and I bet that it is because she got distracted on her way.
Damn.
That is okay. I guess the last cocolate biscuit is finally mine.
mine.
ALL MINE!
Sunday died. Her reanimated corpse continues to walk the streets in search of easy prey.
Sometimes, in an attempt to forget her sorrow, she sits behind a soap box, pretending that it
is a computer, and that she is once more writing SWAP4P. Most of her days are spent listlessly
working as a civil servant for the Governemnt.
Kotori finally put down the branches of that tree. She is not living in a cardboard box, and chances are not looking good for her to be in one in the near future.
She is a more likely candidate for a matchbox, or possibly a
roll of toilet paper. She denies this. But her affair with Sun's door abruptly ended
leaving her in emotional shambles.
SWAP4P still lives (on life support). It resides on the internet, where it haunts generations to come.
It had even managed to outlast geocities, which is a feat in itself, and now lives in
the raped corpse of its servers, no longer on a free site, but in the cozy retirement of a paid
site. This makes it a corporate-bonded slap-me-around bitch, but visa is a kind master.
Touga died of breast cancer only a few years after the show ended. Just like we knew he would.
Jury had turned into an arrogant bitch. Except for the fact that she always was one. Now, we can see it better, although that might be thew dog-pound dogs allfollowing her. She sometimes calls us to tell us that it was
cold that day, and she should be wearing sunscreen. Yah, we think she is a rancid bitch too. But what can we do.
Right, the hit man will be at her door any minute.
"this is the girl"
Knock knock, Neo...I mean Jury.
Himemiya broke up the longstanding relationship between tigger and bear. we're not sure if this is more creepy because tigger is a stuffed animal or because she's crossed the species barrier. she currently thinks she's a rabbit and can't get over an ex.
In completely unrelated news.. Tha Australian government has been using a horrible poison to kill the rabbit infestation on its island. It turns the rabbit inside out, and then kills all of its offspring. How sad.
Nana didn't marry Saionji nor Touga, becasue he is dead, and to quote Nana, that would be "like, ohmegoawd, so gross" she is currently surrounded by shoes. They want her sole. But her sole was traded
in a sex shop for a hello-kitty vibrator. Damn shoes, they lose again. Nana does not know that this is being written. This is a good thing, as Sunday likes her hair.
Utena's wearabouts are currently unknown. On the upside, her girlfriend thinks you're hot. Your girlfriend thinks she's hot. So don't worry about it, one way or the other, you are screwed.
See the levelness, marvel at the levelness. And then eat cake. Or anything else pertinent.
Liz is upstairs putting photos in order. Sunday is pissed off. We are disapointed. She is supposed to be Sun's wifey.
Not to be mixed up with Wiffey or Wufei. Both of which are completely unrelated.
Sunday: Wufei? where?!!! I have his crowbar, and if he scratches that thing, I can use it, oh dear god an AX!!! *boom*
Sunday's reanimated corpse dies a sudden death, as it meets the other end of a barrel.
Sunday's last words are quoted to be "Ooooooh, so this is why this sucks."
Is Sunday actually pissed off? she seems to be handling Liz's defection rather well.
Then again she is dead. Or she might have mixed it up with deffecation, which she keeps telling everyone she knows
nothing about, but some of us wonder. Liz is Sunday's wifey after all, they are supposed to know each other's intimate details.
Liz gave Sunday cheese. It was a bad move.
Kotor dictates this closing. She would like to see the story ended, and possibly is feeling a little sleepy. She takes a drink of her coke, and decides she is not sleepy.
just strange hormonal crappy.
I wish we could go back to those days, those strange hormonal crappy days.
We were all happy then.
In the strange hormonal happiness. The disjointed crappiness.
Lets bring back those days and sing a happy tune.
--a Japanese pencil box (Engrish.com here we come)
When fear is not an option, only one woman can possibly save us.
DORIS!!!
...well shit, had to retype everything... Stupid computer, for knowing what is good for other people, and erasing story like things, and noone loves me becaue the computer is erasing things, and things, it makes me feel sad, and
then I am like things just don’t think properly about things, and then I thought that things maybe should do that thing about the stuff, and you know the stuff like that person.
K: you remember that thing?
Sun: which thing?
K: The THING, you know the thing?
Sun: OH! The thing with the stuff!
K: *hysterical laughter* YAH! THAT thing, with all that stuff, and the other thing.
Sun;l Oh you mean at that time when...
K: YA! That, when the thing,and it... you know, and the stuff, you know!
Sun: Yah, that was great.
K: Things aren’t like that anymore.
Sun: yah.
The last story was far better than this.
Fuck the PLOT.
Plot: why am I in capital letters.
Us: because we ignore you so often that we decided to compensate. We just wanted you to feel like you were doing well.
Plot: I quit.
Us: You can’t quit!!! You are fired! HAHAHAHaHAHAHhahahAHAHAa.
Bonus points to all those who can pick out ALL the pop-culture references (no, this isn't one...and half of them don't count for the prize we won't give you anyway.)
Tree. Apple...apricot. Dog. Fish. Coffee. Car fish. Dog fish. Coffee fish. Dog. Crap. Dog Crap. NO! bad fish!!! Crap dog no cat!!!!...fish.
K: the tree is my favorite character in this story.
TREEEEE! Cries the Dog Cat.
CaaaaaR!! Cries the appricot.
Deeeeeeeaaaaaaaattttthhhhhh DEAAAAAATH!!!!
The plot does not die here. Oh no, the honour is left for the pitifull creture that tried to get his jollies from here, oh yes. Yes indeead, they are indeed.
in-dead.
Not to be mixed up with imbread, which they might be as well, But we cannot be sure of this. They might be in bread. Which might mean inbreed or some such thing, but who knows... that is how the body crumbles says I, in dead.
Banging: bang bang bang banff bang.
Stuff growing on the canal: ...
Everyone: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Eraser: Why have I not yet found use?
Koto is being modest. Lets throw the Koto car on her. first we need to carry it up a flight of stairs. The elevator
runs only to every second floor here. It is on probation for killing hundreds...no, billions of trout, and apricots.
A moment of silence to reflect:
DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Sunday would like the reader to remember her living-impared death. She takes unkindly to the concept of "living impared" and would like to be know as Shoujo kakumei Death.
Koto finds the word-wrap button in notepad.
Although the words fail to seem any mo' gangsta then usual. They do conform to the communist-pig ideals which are the margins of the page. Conform to me you ingrids...conform!!!
Ingrates. corrects Koto.
I am not, says the dust.
no decides Koto, close to tears, sniffling as she holds a handfull of it to her face. No, dust, you are not.
This is England, this is not America for fuck's sake.
Except this isn't England either. God, we just gave away our geographical location. Fuck, Koto, help me raise this
stupid bus so that we can throw it at the angry mob.
The pink blob decided that it had had enough with SWAP4P and proceeded to star in a series of movies, including "the blob who raped me","star wars", "MIB" and "the house that Jack built". It is currently dating a like slime, Tom Cruise, who still insists he is not gay, and that he is 7'4. If told otherwise, he will sue.
Koto has dribbled on herself.
Luckily it wasn't tribbled or tinkled.
She asks if we can delete that part. Laughing laudly she falls on the floor.
No Koto, I am afraid we cannot.
Tom left the page. He has decided that he can do better then this, and is now working on his master's thesis. He wants to do a post-doc in psychology, and hopes to one day raise some talking cats. Luna and Artemis, he will call them. Then he plans to eat them with a soup. We are not quite sure what he plans to hapen to the boy cat with the girls name, or why he would name it that, priobably has to do with his blatant homo-sexuality *whispered*. The cat, not Tom, or the soup. SO hey, I guess we know what will happen to Artemis anyway. Whoa, you still there?
we really aren't.
The rest of the Ohtori school (except Juri) suffered from a sudden death. When a boulder fell on them. Don't ask. Sun and the boulder have history. Not that kind of history, but with Sun, who knows?
Owari. (kinda sound like OW!!! ari)
Shiori dies.
Koto hopes Sun meets her in Hell.
Sun, who has just aquired the throne of Satan, hopes so too.
"OH NO!" cries Kotori in a squieeky anguished voice. Which is really rather cute. "Why can't we just sing a happy tune?"
"because it is painful"
One dog asks to go outside, the other just sits there and cries. Untill I stop, at which point they are all fine again.
What this has to do with pencil boxes noone is sure, but Kotori is aggrieved, and has therefore gone psycho. Sunday continues to use words she does not know the meANING TO she likes the word "aggireved", she thinks it looks *pretty* with that letter arrangement.
Yay!
And everyone in hell sings a happy tune, and lives in disjointed crappiness.
And the point of all this is that everyone has to die. Because, you know...Shakespear, there is no sequel.
Juri: hey, where did everyone go? and why is there a shadow growing beneath my feet? and why is it round? and what is that whistling sound, like something moving towardsa me, at a very rapid speed from above? And hey, did you read my post, it is absolutly wonderful, it is the best thing EVEH! and it goes like this "crap crap crap crap crap...aprobriately forefilling."
And now everyone, with me...like the exploding Thanksgiving turkey.
3-2-1
Splat.
And thus it ends...not with a bang...but a splat.
November 17,2003
Here is the finale of SWAP4P hope everyone enjoys it.
December 26, 2001
Sunday here...
I'm just informing...that...
This page is done.
Kotori, and I have moved onto other things, latched onto different obsessions.
For instance, Kotori is a Faith (from Buffy the vampire slayer) fan, wheras, I am a Gundam Wing fan (oh stop laughing...you all knew that I would turn to slash eventually).
Anyway, this page may come back...eventually. Although the chance of that is pretty slim. Utena parody does not have the apeal it did once.
BTW, the semi-finished new layout can be found at the site below.
http://www.oocities.org/swap4p1/
there that is it.
December 30. 2001
A while back, ImproFicRoast asked if they could MISt SWAP4P, Kotori and I agreed, and so, after what was probably the longest few month of ImproFicRoast's lives, SWAP4P was misted.
In my opinion their work is better then the original. Check it out:
(now if only I could remember how to properly work page builder...)
>>>>>http://indiemadnesse.sandwich.net/ifroast/mst/MiST009.txt<<<<<<<
>>>> or click here