Crossed Paths
-What? The river?
-Yeah. When I last saw him, he was going there.
I dash towards the river as soon as Nami-chan says those words.
Ookido Shigeru, considered by many as Pallet Town’s best Pokemon trainer, has just had his first loss in a 6 x 6 Pokemon battle. And to make things worse, it was his rival, the one that he used to call a loser, who took victory from his hands. He probably doesn’t feel good. Not good at all. No one has seen him in a while and the last person who did just told me he was headed to Gyarados River, known for its powerful and angry Gyarados…
What the hell am I so worried about? I mean, there’s no way he is trying suicide, is there? Well, maybe there is… I’ve heard stories about Pokemon trainers that killed themselves after losing an important battle… And that battle was kind of pretty important… Besides, he looked really sad and disappointed when his last Pokemon, Kamex, fainted and made Satoshi-kun the winner…
Hell, no!! Geru-kun can be a real baka sometimes, but not enough to put an end to his own life because of such a silly thing… That’s right, Akane, you’re just overreacting again, that’s all. I’m sure he only went there because he needed to clear up his mind and get some fresh air. God, now I feel like a baka for even thinking he could do something like that…
I take a break from running and breathe in as much air as I can, then I look around and try to figure which way I should take. I should probably turn around and go back to where the rest of the group is, and wait for Shigeru to return. But then again, I’ve already gone so far…and I’m quite sure that he needs a friend right now, someone to give him some support and not to let him be crushed over his loss…but what if he wants to be alone for a moment? If so, he’s only going to get worse if I go there…
Great! Now I’m torn between decisions!
After a brief while, I decide to take my chances and stay on my way to Gyarados River, hoping that everything will turn out good and that he won’t get mad or upset at me for butting into this matter.
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The sound of a raging Gyarados makes me realize I have finally got to the riverside, where Shigeru is supposed to be. I guess supposed is the word that fits this situation perfectly, for I can’t seem to find him anywhere… I just hope I can find him soon, ‘cause this place is kind of scary, especially ‘cause Gyarados are not the kind of Pokemon that like humans… Unless it’s dinner time, of course…
I get a fright when I hear a noise then I dash toward a tree and hide behind it, praying that no Ghost Pokemon is trying to play a trick on me. Still a lot scared and shaking, I take a look at the river from my hiding place, and to my surprise I catch sight of Shigeru and his Windie sitting by the water edge. So no Ghost Pokemon was trying to scare me and that noise was only Geru-kun and his Pokemon walking… Darn, I should really get rid of this stupid ghost fright…
Mad at myself for being such a sissy, I punch the tree hard as I try to let my anger go. Maybe I should’ve used less strength in that punch, for now my fist hurts like hell and I can’t help it but screaming loudly when I notice my hand is bleeding.
-Who is there? –Geru-kun asks, probably scared by my shout.
Baka Akane… You were trying to keep unnoticed, remember? Did you really have to scream that loud? You thought he wouldn’t hear you? You’re such a baka…
-Um… It’s me, Shigeru. – I say, as I walk off from behind the tree.
-Akane? What are you doing here?
-Oh, I… I was just looking for my Zippo… - I give him the first excuse that comes to my mind.- I let him out of his pokeball for a while and then he disappeared, so I went looking for him.
-I see. Want me to help you look for him?
-Arigatou, Shigeru, but I’m pretty sure Zippo will eventually come back, so no worries!- I approach him and his Windie.
-Okay. – he replies, in a cheerless kind of voice.
His sad expression breaks my heart. I know Shigeru isn’t one the perkiest people I know, but I have never seen him that serious before. It’s obvious that his loss made him quite disappointed at himself…
-Shigeru… Genki desu ka?
-Hmm? Genki…genki dayo.- He forces a smile.
-Houten?
-Hai. Doushite?
-‘Cause it doesn’t seem like you’re ok. You look sad.
-I’m not sad.
-Well, you’re not happy either!
-Wakatteru yo.
-And it has to do with you losing to Sato-chan, right?
-I guess so.
-Aww… It’s ok to lose, Geru-kun. – I try to comfort him. – I mean, I know nobody enjoys losing, but we can’t always win… Don’t be sad ‘cause of that, onegai.
-Akane, I’m not sad, I’m just… upset and kinda disappointed, that’s all.
-Well, that too! You shouldn’t feel that way just ‘cause you lost a battle! Believe me, Shigeru, losing one battle doesn’t make you a bad trainer!
-I know that. And I also know I really shouldn’t be feeling this way, but I just can’t help it… I don’t know, it’s such a weird feeling…
-What feeling? Losing? – I try to sound as understanding as I can. – It’s just that you’re not used to losing, and it really feels weird the first couple of times, but then it’ll pass. Take it from a trainer who already got used to losing!
-Nah, you don’t lose that much. –he replies with a half smile. – Besides, that wasn’t the kind of feeling I was referring to.
-Oh, it wasn’t? Then what kinda feeling were you talking about?
He raises his head and looks at me, with a kind smile on his lips. Then he turns around and stares at the river, as he pets his Windie. I step forward and sit next to them, waiting for Shigeru to answer my question.
-This weird feeling I’ve been experiencing…-he finally starts after a silent while.- …is a feeling that I’m walking towards the wrong direction…
-Oro? What do you mean?
-I mean… that maybe I wasn’t born to be a Pokemon Master, in the first place… that I’m probably just following someone else’s steps… and it’s time for me to find my way and stop trying to be something I can’t be.
I almost can’t believe what I have just heard. Shigeru is thinking about quitting as a Pokemon trainer? He’s gonna give up his dream of becoming a Master? And only because he lost one stupid battle? Ok, so maybe it wasn’t stupid for him, especially because he lost to that kid who he used to call a loser, but it was just one battle, for God’s sake! And I thought I was a baka…
-You’re not serious about that, are you? –I sound perplexed. – You can’t give it up that easily, Geru-kun, you’re a great and talented trainer!
-I’m not that great and talented, Akane. –he keeps staring at the river. – Not that great and talented at all…
-Of course you are! Maybe your disappointment won’t let you see it, but I know you are! Geez, what happened to that overly self-confident guy you used to be?
-Hey, I thought you couldn’t stand that guy!- He turns around and looks at me, surprised.
He’s got all the reasons for getting surprised by that. Shigeru used to be a real bully and a bragger, and his self-confidence used to be so greatly annoying that made me hate him, and I made sure to let everyone know that. If I were to list all the times I’ve had to control myself not to slap him on the face or send him to a very unpleasant place, I could probably write a book even bigger than the Bible. Of course, that was before…
-And I still can’t, but you could really use some of that confidence now!
-Heh… I’m gonna have trouble trying to look for it, for sure.
Now he’s changed. He has grown really mature, and he has evolved from an annoying, snobbish and self-conceited little brat into a nice, gentle and caring young man. He became such a better guy that he even managed to make me start liking and caring about him… and, as time passes by, I can only seem to grow even fonder of him…
-Besides… -He keeps on talking.- … it’s not only about that battle I lost… I’ve been having this feeling for quite a while, but I just never told anyone about it.
-Oh, you have? Why?
-I don’t know… It’s just a feeling I get… You know that little voice inside you that keeps telling you to do something and won’t stop talking until you do it?
-Voices? You… hear voices? Wh-where? – I start shaking from fright.
-Hey, I said “that voice inside you”, not ghost voices!-He laughs politely at my nervousness. - Calm down, ok?
-Ok… -I try to stay calm. – But what kind of voice is that, anyway?
-It’s my inner instinct, silly.- He smiles kindly at me.- And it keeps telling me that I’m not destined to be a Pokemon Master, and that I have to start looking for my path as soon as I can to see if I can make up for the lost time.
-And… what is the path that this voice points to you as the right one?
-The voice says that I should be like my grandfather… A Pokemon researcher, I mean.
-A Pokemon researcher?- I sound a bit surprised, then I smile to cheer him on.- Well, I guess that kinda fits you.
That was completely true. Shigeru has always been the smart one in the group, and he barely uses his Pokedex to check on Pokemon data, for he already knows everything it could possibly say (by the way, that’s why we gave him that nickname, “living Pokedex”). I wish I had at least half of his Pokemon knowledge, but I’m just too lazy to spend as much time studying as he does…
-Yeah… I have always enjoyed reading and studying Pokemon, and I always thought I was better at learning stuff about these creatures than I was at battling them…
-No wonder! Anata wa Ookido Hakase-san no mago! I’m sure he has a lot of influence on you… Oh, I’m also sure that he would give you all his support if you decided to become a researcher like him!- I try my best to keep cheering him on.
-Yeah, that’s more than likely.
-Oh, oh, and you know what?? –I sound as cheerful as I can.
-What?
-I bet you would look so kawaii wearing a lab coat and glasses!!! –I clap my hands together quickly several times, in a sign of excitement.
-Oro? Kawaii? I would look like a nerd, that’s what you mean!- he says, laughing.
-Nope, not a nerd! I say you would kawaii sugouku!!!!
-Nope, not kawaii. Nerd. –He insists.
-KAWAII!!!! KAWAII SUGOUKU!!! –I shout as I jump up and down, getting a bit mad at his persistence.
-Ok then, kawaii it is.- he gives up, due to my annoying insistence, and smiles.
-Woohoo!!! I win! Yay!- I keep jumping up and down, since it seems to make him laugh. –Oh, there’s more!!!
-What?
-If you do become a researcher, you can give me all kinds of tips about Pokemon training and breeding and all that, ‘cause then we will no longer be rivals!!
-Yeah. And I guess as we won’t be rivals anymore, we won’t have to play “Rock, Paper, Scissors” to decide who’s gonna catch a new kind of Pokemon whenever we run across one, huh?
Rock, Paper, Scissors… Every time we find a new Pokemon, we have to decide on “Rock, Paper, Scissors” which of us gets the right to try and catch it… Of course that, if it is a Fire type Pokemon, I can even knock Shigeru, Satoshi, Kasumi or anyone out, just so that I have the chance to catch it… although I know that, if Shigeru is the one to get it, he will probably give it to me, anyway…
-Yeah… but I would miss that, Geru-kun.
-Wakatteru yo. I’d miss that, too, Akane.
He lowers his head and pets his Windie, as I stare at him for a while and think about how much I’m gonna miss him if he does decide to leave us. His presence, his voice, his company… I’m gonna miss that so much… But most of all, I’m gonna miss those pretty ocean blue eyes of his… The same blue eyes that make my heart beat desperately whenever I look at them…
-So…- I start, trying to calm my heart down. –…are you really gonna do this? Are you gonna become a Pokemon researcher and give up being a trainer?
-I’m not sure yet. I’m still a lot confused about all this… I mean, part of me wants me to keep on being a trainer, but another part says that I should choose a new path… It’s just too hard for me to choose.
-I understand. Well, at least you’re not upset anymore, are you?
-Nope, not anymore. –He looks at me then smiles. – Thanks to you, Akane.
-Well, I’m glad to know you’re doing ok again, Geru-kun. – I smile broadly at him. – I was starting to get really worried about you!
-Worried about me? –he seems a bit surprised. – Doushite?
-Hmm? Oh! Well, ‘cause… you seemed so sad about having lost to Sato-chan and…I had never seen you that way before and…well…um…
There are so many reasons for me to get worried about him, but the main one is… the way I feel for him… I really want to let Shigeru know about my feelings for him, but I just can’t seem to find the courage to do so, for I know he probably doesn’t feel the same way about me. I mean, how in the world would such a smart and handsome guy like him be interested in a lousy and childish girl like me?
-…And?- He asks, as I take a long time to finish my sentence.
-Anata… anata wa... Anata wa atashi no ichiban tomodachi, Geru-kun!- That’s all I manage to tell him. – And… I care a lot about you.
His gorgeous blue eyes stare at me for a moment, surprised by my words. Then he gives me a kind smile and hugs me, holding my head tenderly against his chest as I wish from the bottom of my heart that he would never let me go.
-Arigatou, Akane. I care a lot about you, too.
-You’re welcome, Geru-kun. Oh, there’s… something else I want you to know… - I finally manage to say, after a while.
-Ok, what is it?
-Well, about your dilemma… I don’t know what you’re going to decide about it, but I do know one thing… - I move my head away from his chest and look right into his eyes as I gently touch his face. – It doesn’t matter which way you choose to follow from now on…I’ll always be there to support you, ok?
I know my heart is going to hurt a lot if he decides to leaves us to become a researcher, but I can’t be that selfish and care only for myself. Besides, if he’s not content as a Pokemon trainer and thinks that he’ll be better off studying Pokemon, then I’ll be happy to see he’s happy, and I’m sure I’ll be ready to give him all my support and help if he ever needs them.
-Arigatou, Akane. You have no idea of how much it means to me…
He tenderly touches my face, then he leans down and gets closer to my lips… or is it me who is unconsciously getting closer to his lips and is just seeing things that aren’t real? Have I gone crazy or it really seems like he is somehow attracted to me? Could he possibly feel that way about me?
-Windie!- he suddenly moves away as he tries to stop his Windie from scratching his pants with its paws. - Calm down, boy! What is it?
-I think your Pokemon is hungry, Geru-kun!-I force a laugh, trying to hide my embarrassment.- It’s already time for dinner and you probably haven’t fed it since your battle with Sato-chan, right?
-Yeah, you’re right. I’d better take it back to the Pokemon center and give it some food before it eats my boots! –He looks at his Windie, pretending to be angry.
-You’d better make it fast, ‘cause this Pokemon seems to be starving!
-Yeah, I can see that!-he says as he pets his dog-like fire Pokemon. - Are you coming?
-Um…later. I’ll look for my Lizardon for a while, but I’ll be right there, ok? –I use the same crappy excuse I used before.
-Ok, then. Ja ne!- He says as he starts to walk away.
-Ja ne.
-Oh, one more thing! –He turns around and looks at me.
-Yeah?
-Arigatou gosaimasu…Akane-chan.
I remain still for a moment, feeling very happy to see him smile again. And it feels even better to know that I was the one who brought that smile back to his lips…those sweet lips that I almost got to kiss. Finally, I give him my best smile and say, cheerfully:
-You’re very welcome, Geru-kun!!
After a second, he turns around and starts walking away with his loyal and hungry Windie.
I have no idea as to what is going to happen from now on. Shigeru can either keep on this journey with us, or he can leave the group to become a Pokemon researcher, like his grandfather. As to what I want to happen…
I don’t know. I really want to keep Shigeru around me, but maybe this isn’t the best for him. Maybe his destiny is to leave everything behind and follow his grandfather’s steps… But then again, maybe that little voice that tells him to give up his dream is wrong. Maybe he will become a great Pokemon Master and won’t even remember the day when he lost to his rival and thought about quitting his carrier as a trainer… and if that really is his destiny, then we’ll still be together, at least until this journey ends. In both cases, I only wish for one thing…his happiness.
I want him to be happy, whatever it is the path he chooses to follow. Even if he is away from me, even if he doesn’t even remember who I am in a few years… As long as he is happy, I will be in peace. I just hope he knows that, wherever he will go, he will take a piece of my heart along and that he knows that I’ll be there to support him, whatever it is that he decides to do from now on, only because…well, maybe some day I’ll tell him why. Maybe one day I’ll finally find my courage and say…
…Ookido Shigeru…Aishiteru.