“Daddy’s Little Girls Grow Up”

Have you ever kept certain thoughts, experiences, or feelings to yourself because there are some things simply too private to share? No matter how close a relationship a person has with someone, no one is completely open with his or her innermost thoughts and desires. In the novel, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, by Carson McCullers, and in the essay, “No More Lollipops,” by Debra Adams, the girls have relationships with their fathers, but they keep certain emotions to themselves. This is because the girls mature with time, and consequently withhold personal thoughts, because some things become too meaningful for them to share with their fathers, who might not understand.

In The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, the main character Mick Kelly has grown into a mature relationship with her father. As she becomes an adolescent, she finally sees her father as an individual, where before he was merely another face in the family to her. As children, people often view their parents as commodities to serve their every want. As Mick grew older, she came to realize that her father also had feelings and needs. She respected these by making a connection with her father, and sacrificing her time for him. Her father had been in an accident and was out of work, and she saw that he was lonely and truly sad because he was cut off from the family he could no longer provide for. He is the only one in her large family that Mick will even stop and take the time to talk to. She says, “But most of the time if anybody called her she just ran away like she hadn’t heard. That went for everybody except her dad… No matter how much of a hurry she was in, she always had to stop when her Dad called.” She talks to him about nothing in particular because she knows he enjoys her company. As a young adult, she acts maturely by putting his needs before her own. Still, Mick does not share her innermost thoughts and desires, rather, she keeps things in the “inner room” of her mind to herself. Mick’s private thoughts mostly regard music, which is something too special and meaningful to her to tell other people, even her father. Therefore, although Mick has matured and grown closer to her father, she conceals her most intimate feelings.

In “No More Lollipops,” Debra recalls the special relationship that she had with her father, which she has since outgrown. The essay is written as a flashback to her childhood days of being “daddy’s little girl.” As a young girl, Debra shared a secret late-night routine with her father. He would pause at the top of the stairs and say something that she could hear before heading down for a nighttime snack with her on his shoulders. He joked around, pretending she was not there, and acting surprised when he saw her on the couch. They shared a mutual understanding that this was their “little secret.” As time passed, Debra found that she was no longer “daddy’s little girl.” As she grew older, Debra stopped playing with, relying on, and crying to her father. The affection, pride, and secrets eventually disappeared with her maturity. Debra explains that now she takes care of herself, and even though she has feelings of attachment towards her father, there comes a time when everyone must, as Debra says, “become [his or her] own person.”

While some aspects of Mick’s relationship with her father compared to Debra’s relationship with her father are very similar, the two also differ greatly. Both girls at some point feel or know something special about their fathers, but also at some time are unable to share all of their deepest thoughts, emotions and experiences with them. Both girls can be considered “daddy’s little girls,” but the relationships vary in nature. The main difference is that as Mick grows older, she becomes somewhat closer to her father, while as Debra ages, she drifts away from her father and becomes more independent. By Mick’s actions throughout the novel, it can be inferred that she is already fiercely independent as a child. As she matures she sees that although she may not need her father, her father sometimes needs her, and so their relationship is based upon her sacrificing time for him in order to fulfill his needs. On the other hand, Debra has more of a child-like, playful, “secret” bond with her father as a little girl. She shares bountiful affection and “inside jokes” with her father, and he is a shoulder to cry on for her. Unlike Mick, as she gets older, Debra breaks away from the comfort and safety of her father. Their special connection disappears as she gains independence and takes care of herself rather than running to her father for support. Also contrasting from Mick, once she can fulfill her own needs and desires, Debra abandons the relationship she once had with her father, while when Mick finds independence she still shows concern for her father as an individual. Clearly, it can be conceived that these two father-daughter relationships are heading opposite ways, but it still holds true that despite how intimate the relationship is, one cannot share everything with someone they are close to.

Mick, the main character of The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, and Debra, in her essay entitled “No More Lollipops,” both have some kind of connection with their fathers, but they do not share all of their innermost thoughts. As Mick grows up, she learns that her father is an individual being, and she puts his needs before her own by sacrificing her time for him. Even though they talk, Mick chooses to keep some things private, or as she likes to say, in the “inner room” of her mind. As Debra matures, she becomes less dependent on her father, who, as a child she went to for everything. Their late night secrets, along with their great expression of affection, vanish with time. Both Mick and Debra at some time evidently had special bonds with their fathers, yet neither could always share their feelings with them. For the better, or for the worse in the relationship, “daddy’s girls” do grow up.