The very tips of my fingers and toes are like ice cubes. Literally. I shit you not. When I tap on them with the prongs of a fork the sound that is made is similar to "PING! PING! PING!". A frightening noise for any body part to make, really. I don't know how I live with it.

I think I've built up an endurance due to the fact that when I was five years old the bottoms of my feet were accidentally frost-bitten. When I turned ten the skin would peel off at odd moments, like during intercourse or masturbation. Ok that wasn't true. But I'm known for telling "big whoppers". It was true about the frost bite though. Bless my heart, but I have had one TOUGH life.

So the tingle begins in the big toe and wiggles and squirms it's way up the leg until the entire limb is numb and weightless which makes movement nearly impossible. Then the chilled blood finds it's way to the arms and they frost over like unwrapped tuna steak in a deep pit freezer. But the area around where the heart pumps stays warm, almost hot, and rivulets of melting ice trickle down the belly into the... well, you know. It's really quite an "arousement". If you're cold enough, that is.

That's usually when I start to hallucinate. Dancing whores with poptarts and dripping ice cream cones flit across the stage that is my inner eyelid. Feathers float. Balls bounce. Lesbians levitate. Right after that, THE BLINDING WHITE LIGHT followed by THE EVEN MORE BLINDING AND CAN YOU BELIEVE IT WHITER LIGHT. Then I black out.

I usually wake up with a little trickle of drool winding it's way out of the corner of my mouth and across my chin. That's when I know... "Everything's A-Okay again"!