|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
By including these warnings I do not mean to imply that all or even most men would ever act like this; chances are if you're still reading this article you already have a healthy social sense and wouldn't think to misbehave in these ways. But anyway, here goes... Attempting to hire an escort or sex worker to go to a swinging event with you, if you don't have a regular female partner, just so you can get in the door is a terribly poor idea. It's considered inappropriate at many clubs, and may well be sufficient to get you black-listed, and is a ruse that is highly likely to be noticed by others. A related concept is taking along someone who isn't really your primary partner and isn't really interested in swinging. At DEBAUCHERY we call such people 'door passes' (i.e. you just used them as a "door pass" to get in the door), and this practice isn't looked upon favourably either. In fact, we'll black-list you If you want nothing more than to see your female partner have sex with another woman, you will probably be better off forgetting about it until she brings it up. Wandering around by yourself attempting to find a woman who wants to have sex with her, or otherwise trying to push this personal choice into happening, is considered quite crass. Finally, please remember to converse with both members of a couple you and your partner are interested in, not just the partner you are interested in having sex with. Ultimately it's your ability to form friendships with COUPLES which will determine the quality of your experience in the swinging community. Along with the parties, personal ads are the most effective way of meeting people to swing with - for single guys, they're really the only option. In general, you will probably waste less time by placing an ad than by responding to ads. When writing your personal ad, it's important to be clear and honest about what your requirements are. You may find it helpful to first obtain a P.O. Box and/or use a voice mail box which aren't traceable to your real name or home address. It's also a good idea to arrange the first meeting with someone new to be in a neutral and/or public place, so that if things don't seem to be going well you'll be able to leave easily and nobody new will know where you live. We'll have a much more detailed article on the best ways to make use of personal ads in a forthcoming issue. Currently the internet is becoming an alternative to printed personal ads, and a small number of 'swingers weekends away' have been promoted in the last year or two. My gut feeling is that as more people in this country begin to think of themselves as "open-minded" and "liberated", as our response to STDs becomes more rational, as more people from other walks of life begin to explore swinging, and as more bisexual men in the swinging community "come out", the swinging community will grow and begin to attract a new generation of sexually adventurous enthusiasts. I suspect that the size and influence of the swingers parties and Balls will continue to grow, and also suspect that "cyber-space" alternatives to real-life swinging (involving interactive video, sound, etc.) will become increasingly popular. |