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Beer
on the Job
While most companies refrain from allowing consumption of alcohol on the
premises, there are some arguments for changing that policy.
Reasons for allowing drinking at work include:
1. It's an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It leads to more honest communications.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.
6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants
to hear.
7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.
8. It encourages carpooling.
9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't
care.
10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
11. It makes fellow employees look better.
12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
15. Suddenly, farting during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.
16. No one will remember your strip act at the Christmas Party.
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Drunken
Sex
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his
hand and he is stumbling
back and forth.
A cop on the beat sees him and approaches, "Can I help you,
sir?"
"Yesssh! Sssssombody stole my car," the man replies.
The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"
"It wassss at the end of thiss key," the man replied.
About that time the cop looks down and sees that the man's private
part is hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asks the
man, "Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
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Best
Value Bar
An Englishman, Irishman, and Polish guy are
telling
each other why the bars in their country are the best.
The English guy says "When you go into a pub in
England every time you buy 2 beer the bartender buys
you a beer and it goes on like this all night"
The Irishman mans says "That's nothing, When you go
into a pub in Ireland everytime you buy a beer the
bartender buys you a beer, and this goes on all night.
The Polish guy says "That's nothing, When you go into
a bar in Poland the bartender buys you a drink, and
then the bartender buys you another drink, and then
the bartender buys you another drink, and then he
takes you out back and he gets you laid!"
The other two guy don't believe him and asks if he
is sure and ask "Have you actually been there to make
sure this is really what happens?"
The polish guy says "No, I haven't actually been there,
But my Sister has!"
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