The following are ideas suggested to me by others.
Tattoos
My sister-in-law came up with an interesting memorial idea
for her youngest brother:
I am now the proud owner of a new tattoo! This is not just
any tattoo. This is in memory of Chris. I've been wanting another
for quite some time and with everything that's happened this,
to me, was the perfect idea. It's on my right shoulder and isn't
very big. I'd say about 2"x3" at the most. It's done
completely in black but not jet black. It's shaded in different
degrees so I guess you could say it's actually kind of gray.
It's a dragon wrapped around a sun with a Chinese symbol in the
middle of the sun. Basically, it's a dragon with a sun for its
tummy. Now all of this is naturally symbolic. The Chinese symbol
is for younger brother. (No real reason why I picked Chinese--it
just looked cool to me!) The dragon is because this year is the
Chinese year of the Golden Dragon. Which I thought was a unique
way to remember the year in which he passed. The Chinese symbol
being in the middle of the sun represents how Chris is still
surrounded by the family and always will be part of us. The burning
flame of the sun represents the love that we have for him. And
just like the sun, our love will never be extinguished. It will
burn brightly for years to come. I got the tattoo on my shoulder
so I can see it. Every time I look at it I will be reminded of
Chris and hope that he somehow approves or at least understands.
Just like I hope all the rest of you do.
This wasn't done to shock or repulse any of you. And for
the younger, impressionable ones out there who are reading this
and getting any ideas from it--STOP. This does NOT come recommended
in any way, shape or form. Although I already have a previous
tattoo from way back in my college days I must have forgotten
what it felt like. No matter what anyone tells you, tattoos HURT!
They are also a PERMANENT change in your appearance so, this
is not something to play around with.
Jean adds: This is my idea and if I catch any of you copying
me I will personally come KICK YOUR BUTT!!
However, I won't tell if you do. :-)
Naming Opportunities
I'm not talking about if you give a foundation $10,000 and
they put your nameplate on a desk. One of the women in my local
infant-loss support group has an avid fisherman for a husband.
He purchased a new boat in preparation for a fishing tournament
about two years after their baby Keegan died. He came home one
day and said, "I hope you don't mind what I named the boat."
He had named the boat Keegan. When he went to the tournament,
many people asked him why he'd chosen that name for his boat,
and his wife was surprised to hear him tell the story. This was
part of the healing process to him.
I have yet to hear of any cars named for children, but if
you have a vanity license plate, please send me a photo and I'll
put it up online!
Wedding Ring Memorial
Monika writes: After Anouk's death it was important for
me to have a sign of her life which I can ever have with me.
So I asked a goldsmith to set 4 small diamonds in my wedding
ring. 4 diamonds for my 4 children (Anouk was the fourth). It
wasn't expensive at all, since the diamonds are really, really
small ! I love the idea to have all my family on my wedding ring.
The name of my husband inside, the light of my children outside.
Today I brought it back to the goldsmith, I wanted him to engrave
two little stars inside for the two miscarriages I had before
my eldest daughter. Nobody could see this children, not even
me, but they are still in my heart. I wanted them to be on my
wedding ring too. Only for me. So this wedding ring became a
ring of my life.
Monika runs her
own anencephaly support web site, made extra-special because
it is the first one written in German and French.
Lock-of-hair Locket
Tammy writes, I eventually got myself a locket (originally
a fingerprint locket) and put a small lock of Jessica's hair
in it. We got the locket at Meijers. It is a fingerprint locket
and comes with a stamp kit so you can put your child's fingerprint
in it. The silver was $20 and the gold $40. Tammy also runs
an anencephaly
support site with Jessica's story, information about anencephaly,
support groups, memorial links, and inspirational stories.
.
Return
to Tips
main
page
