Once upon a time, there was a young lady named Manda, from the magical land of Bartlett, IL. Manda had a dream: to find a young gentleman to court her and make her dreams come true. Sadly, whether in Bartlett or more recently, Los Angeles, she has been reduced to meeting and dating losers like (names have been changed to protect their shards of ill-gotten dignity) Benny and Micky. This cycle needs to stop!  There must be a plethora (SAT Verbal) of eligible gentlemen out there for this young, perky 18 year old chica! Check back to this page for more information on how to find Manda a man.

Operation MMNL

Battlefields:

Don't Reduce me to This

Secure These Targets

Across Enemy Lines

Military Base One

Report to Your Commanding Officer:

Ashton lookalikes  as well as generally hot men welcome.

This is the goal.  Dude, where's my SEXY HOT MAN?!?!?

Your mission is clear: TO MAKE MANDA NOT LONELY!

**ATTENTION ALL LIEUTENANTS IN TRAINING** (read below)

"Atten-shun!  10 situps, 'cause you're an ass."

Quick! Click on the ammo to email me your ideas and that's an ORDER! :)

MMNL GENERAL GUIDELINES

Realize that you are embarking upon a no way out, suicide mission.  No other soldier has ever ventured into Manda's love life and returned alive.  The road to victory is long and arduous, but shall you choose to accept and complete this mission, you will be rewarded with unthinkable glory.

THINGS TO LOOK FOR: **tall (5'11" or above) **blonde (cutie brunettes OK) **funny (i.e. Leno, not Letterman) **smart (above 3.0, thanks) **single (laugh, but you'd be surprised) **likes to drink the alcohol **generous and chivalrous **has a good relationship with his parents

ABSOLUTE RED FLAGS: **bad hair (ponytails, shaved heads, etc.) **lame jokes (puns, blonde one-liners) **girlfriend (again, a no-go) **long or dirty fingernails **anyone named Lenny, Ricky, or Kevin **self-righteous or pompous bastards **rich guys **violent in any way

BEWARE: I can be rough on the young men, but only because I love.  So cry me a river, build me a bridge, and get the hell over it.

FALL IN! ALL LIEUTENANTS ON SPECIAL ALERT!

The impossible has happened...Manda has fallen in love!  Sadly, this is but another infatuation that will end in heartbreak.  Here are the vital stats of the target to be secured:

NAME: Markus Allen Hoppus

AGE: 29 Years Young

FAVE BAND: Fenix*tx (like Manda, tear)

FATAL FLAW: Married. (ugh) Happily.

Reasons why I have fallen in this hopeless spiral of passionate love:

1.  He is the funniest guy ever (the day shall never come when I tire of poo-poo jokes) 2.  Though not hard and rippling, his body is still unbelievably hot. 3.  I love guys that act all cute with other guys the way he does with Tom (no comments here, please.  I'm serious). [As not to bore you, I will omit all "I could get lost in his eyes" or "I bet his **** is HUGE" comments. :)]

MORE VISUAL IDENTIFICATION:

"Fuck 'em, I'm not gonna like die wondering how far I could've gone..." --Mark himself--