Ninety-nine bottles of beer

FOREWORD: Rocke&Roll and Kaz-chan are working on creative task thingys for English.  Kaz has just written a suicide note in big red writing on her computer.  VB, Strongbow and muscat are all forms of alcohol.

R&R: You can't submit that!

Kaz: Oh reely?

Yeah. 'Reely'.  Unless you WANT to get a D.  Although, since you want to die anyway that probably doesn't matter to you.

WTF? *something illegible*

Pardon?  Didn't quite catch that...

...................beeeeeeeeeeeeeer................

Thanks.  Let's start another slab, shall we?

*hic*             K  e  w  l  i  e  s

Yup. *glug glug glug* Where'd you get this grog?

VB SUCKS HARD CORE.

Well, it's better than nothing. *burps* Er, sorry 'bout that...

*WHAX REELY HARD*  I'm getting better grog.

Such as...

STRONGbow

Whaa..?

SHTRONGBOW

OOOOO, I don't get that stuff to often. *grabs a bottle*

NO *HIC* MORE.

Dammit.  Well, maybe I WON'T share my muscat, then, *runs off with three bottles*

*Peter Pan catches her & steals all de grog*

Hey!  What'd you do that for?!  That's my dad's best muscat, pretty boy!

Peter pan (who is voiced by Kaz): 2 bad!  We've got all de grog in de world!  Off 2 Neverland!

Excuse me?  Kaz, you're off having the booze of all boozes and you didn't invite me? ;_;

*hic* yup!  Peter's neva had booze b4

No fair!  *crawls under the house and inot dad's last gigantic barrel of muscat* Least I still got this lot.

not nemore!  *snatches barrel*  bysies!

*banging on the barrel* Hey, I'm still in here!

bysies! *opens barrel & Rocke falls out*

Dammit! *grabs Peter's hat* Why do you want to get rid of me so bad?  I GAVE you half that grog.

U don't have my hat, it's still on my head.  ur already near the ground.

*Suddelny sprouts wings* Hey, if Mercs can do it, why can't I?

hehehe... my lost boys have axes *chops off wings*

And I have a frying pan!  *Whacks Peter on the head and climbs back in her barrel *glug glug glug*

*rubs head* owch.  I'll get you.  *lost boys jump into de barrel and throw Rocke out*

Man, this is annoying. *falls in the sea and sits on her floating frying pan*  Why do you hate me so much, anyway?

I don't hate you, I'm just interested in 'booze'.

So?  Why can't I come?

I dunno.  Kaz says she wants to be with me.

That doesn't mean I can't come and booze too.  *grumbling*  Trust Kaz to do this to me.

U no why I wanna be alone wid him!

Aw, c'mon, Kaz, at least let me have a bit of my OWN muscat!

soz, Rocke, getting him drunk may take a while.

Then at least get me out of here so I don't have to paddle a frying pan all the way home!

What do you thaink, Peter?

I dunno... It'd be funny to watch her paddle.

*waving a steak knife around* Do that and I'll shove this 'paddle' down you ungrateful little shrimp!

Who's the shrimp?

Peter, of course. *grumbles*  Some friend you are.

He's almost as tall as I am.

So?  I was mad, I don't care.  Anyway, am I allowed to go home or not?

Can you paddle?

¬¬;;  I'm sitting in the ocean on a frying pan.  I have a steak knife, a ladle and an eggbeater in my backpack.  I would greatly appreciate it if you could help me out, ESPECIALLY  SINCE  YOU  GOT  HALF  THAT  WINE  FROM  ME.

Fine, you can have it. *pours wine into the frypan, causing it to sink*

AHH!  I'll lose all that wine, you idiot!  *Quickly gulps all the wine outta the pan

HEHEHE.

Thanks for the drink.  Can I go home now?  Please?

Sure, you can swim.

You people drive me nuts.  Hey, have you ever tried doing this? *sets fire to the frying pan & holds her coat over the hot air, which consequently makes her and the jacket float up into the air*  See, this is why you should listen in science.

Aren't you 4getting something?  when you alight alcohol, it explodes.  *pan blows up, & Rocke is singed*

*Rolls her eyes*  You DO need to listen in science.  It's only when you have, like, a barrelful that it explodes.  You must have planted a bomb or something.  That was my best frying pan!

*Laughing himself silly*  HAHAHAHAHA!!!  *falls out of sky*  Whoops!

*shakes her head* silly boy.

hehehe!  That was fun!

I'm sure it was.  Well, I'd better be going.  Whiskers, now would be a good time!  *an animal that looks like a giant cat with wings flies up and pulls Rocke outta the water*  Kaz, I don't believe you've met Whiskers.  She's... I don't know what she is, actually, but she's friendly, trustworthy and a hell of a lot more helpful than you.

I'm happy with Peter!  *hugs Peter*

hehe!  I'm so good!  *grabs Kaz-chan*  let's go!

Kewlies!  let's go, C-ya, Rocka!

Ta-ta!  AND  YOU'D  BETTER  BRING  THAT  BARREL  BACK  IN  ONE  PEICE.

As you can see, Kaz and Peter Pan (when voiced by her) are both CRUEL,  HEARTLESS PEOPLE.  They enjoy laughing at my misfortune very very much.  I changed our real names to web nicknames in several places.  Whiskers is my muse.  And against my better judgement, I left Kaz-chan's spelling and grammar as it originally was.  I could not, however, replicate her illegible handwriting.