reminding

Words

Who

alan's pages...

remembering a time of days long since past

" Stabbing me " {d.o.c.}
People just like you & I
write there emotions out.
As if it were the only way
to feel.
As if the unattainable
were tamed so easily.
Capturing the tiger without a cage.
Seems to be my flaw.
The lack of memory
causes you to forget those who do care.
And in your memory loss
you do unspeakable things.
Unchangeable things.
And as your heart
murders and remurders
your body.
Over and over again
you keep doing it.
Glad to feel something-
anything at all.
-copywritted jan. 1 2000-

" Comforting Pain " {dena}
I always run to the bathroom
when i'm most upset.
I remember it being the only door with a lock still.
Battering rams couldn't keep
my family out.
They broke in through
the windows & doors.
To get at me.
Like a realistic horror movie.
Perhaps that explains much
about this Childe.
Hopelessly searching.
For others who've felt pain.
To see a glimmer.
To not feel alone.
Yet with time,
the glimmering fades.
Til it's nothing more.
Than a speck.
-copywritted jan.1 2000-

Avena's page

Lost- -copywrittted jan. 1 2000-
As the eyes of the wind perch above the clouds.
Looking down upon him she sits, to stare at his name.
Merely to read it, wondering what it's worth to merely see it on the page.
Never stopping to think it's a waste of time.
Just staring to stare.
Lost in the lettering of it.
The spelling.
The mere way it sits in her mind...
As it swirls about.
Hidding within silence she realizes that a simple name, has taken her.

:song- midiren4.mid:
And as she sleeps... {tairy}
:she can imagine herself dancing... dancing near him. to only be near him is enough. as they touch left hand to right hand, it's the only parts that touch. the music goes on and on forever. as they slowly move in a soft circle. around the garden walls. slowly her face meets his. as her eyes move quickly from view. her gown seems to be appropriate for the music. as it slides across her barefeet into the ground, it lightly steps on him. the dingy tears that've been boardered up by extra cloth still sit upon her dress. as if time had stood still while death had taken her as its' prize. as she looks away silver tears cast down her cheek. heavy like metal it falls to crash to the floor below. a single tear.... and as they move in and out of the circle her dress changes colors, as her eyes fall upon his all she can think of is what if. as waves tremble within her tiny breast she runs turning from him to escape to the tide, to something that can't see her.
-copywritted jan. 1 2000-

:walks past vines and vines of greenery in a satin gown of the same time period as her own. it's embroidered triming and dark colors accent the highlights of her eyes. enters angered as her tight fitting gown-that she finally felt the need to have a change- looms around her barefeet. her hair kept back in a long ponytail, out of her face. her midnight blue satin gown shows no wrinkles in her figure which has deteriorated with the tide, its long sleeves and floorlength shape fit only around her waist as afew green strips lay in the course material that swoops darting across her shoulders. looks to her mun, noticing that only her face and hands are the same. creates her hair in 1800's lady like fashion, to cup just the bottom of the neckline extending from ear to ear as it's looped around braids atop braids. creates a silver string to intertwine along with the basic movement of the hair. her short body seems statuesk in long gowns appearing taller: :creates a mirror: :is glad she's the work of death and not of life to be able to get away with appearing so thin: :sits her frail body ontop of a concrete slab next to silver roses that make her dress all the more beautiful before eyes view:
-copywritted jan. 1 2000-

song for Marie-
-copywritted august 22nd. 2000-
sitting alone.....   watching you silently listen....... i can hear the tears crashing downward....... and all the times i have ran to you.........   you can't simply do..... the same..... with me......
when i got hurt when i fall down when i look around....
i check to look for you...
when i drown when i reach when i come to terms......
it's you that i try to reach.....
and i don't want to go around...
sitting here in the dark silently.....
and i know you can't find a sound.....
to be clear and confide in me...
but i just try.........   to make it easy.....
but you refuse to hear.....

and i don't want to make a sound...
i don't want to let you speak...
and i don't want to go around...
without you you mean to me...
and i can't trrrryyyyy enough...
the more i try... the harder it is on me....   {musical interlude for 4 measures}

and if you.... just could.... see what it means... to me... when you open the trapdoor and let me see... for i know... that when it's me... feeling just the same way... that you are there and you care and it means so much to me... and the harrrrdddder that i try... the moooorrrre and the mooorrrre that you fall from me... the less i can let you go... for you have no idea... what its like to watch the pain... that others feel... it starts driving you insane...

and when i feel that way... i run to you....
and when i break that way... i sit by you...
and when it feels like i don't feel and when i cry silently...
i let it all postpone itself...
and in time...
and in time...
and in time...
and in tiiimmme tiiiimmmme tiiimmmme tiii- tiiimmme tiiimmme tiiimmme    ti-ti-ti- tiiiiimmmme...
ohh time wont wait...
for you.... or... meeeeeeee-eee-eeeee