Note: This is it, the "super secret mystery project" that I told you about. I'm taking over the Digi-Bloop That series by Hikari Takaishi. I have also adopted many of the running gags from the series (the Spas, the Whip War, and so on). If you feel that the only person who should write a series is its creator then don't read this.
1 Invitations
Ken: I have something for all of you.
Yolei: a lay?
Director: CUT!
Director: Take 2, action!
Ken: I have something for all of you.
Yolei: A good shag?
Director: CUT!
(several hours later)
Director: Take 132, action!
Ken: I have something for all of you.
Yolei: A hard f.
Director: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CUT!
2 Digimon in bag
Davis: This is going to be the best Christmas ever.
Agumon: Help, I can't breathe and somebody's touching me.
Gabumon: Naked Digimon.
Director: Cut!
3 Sorato scene
Tai: So, you want to go out after the show?
Sora: I was hoping that. that. that you'd ask.
Director: Cut!
Director: Take 2, action!
Tai: So, do you want to go out after the show?
Sora: (long pause then breaks down crying)
Director: Cut! Sora, what's wrong?
Sora: (in tears) I can't say it. I love Tai!
4 A card game
Yolei: I can't even play Go Fish!
Kari: Don't worry, there's a lot of things Tai can't do.
Yolei: Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better. Your airhead of a brother can't do a lot of things. Big freaking surprise! I'd be surprised if he could even tie his own shoes!
Kari: Well, now that you mention it.
Stagehand: (to director) Aren't you supposed to say "cut"?
Director: no, this is getting really interesting.
Director: Take 2, action.
Yolei: I can't even play Go Fish!
(Spaichi and Spoushirou come in dressed as Batman and Robin)
Spaichi: I. am. Spatman!
Spuoshirou: Holy Digi, Spatman, it seems that the Spoker has stolen Yolei's card-playing abilities.
Kari: Tai, you're embarrassing me infront of D.
Spaichi: I am not mild mannered Spaichi, I. am. Spatman!
(Spamato comes in wearing white face paint and green lipstick)
TK: Matt, don't do this to me in front of Kari.
Davis: I think my chances just improved.
Spamato: I'm sick of playing the bad guy all the time.
Spoushirou: You didn't have to dress as a miniature Spaichi last time.
Spamato: Touché. Ha ha ha! I have taken Yolei's abilities and I am not giving them back!
Spoushirou: Holy Nimoy, Spatman, it's the villainous Spoker.
Davis: There's no need to swear, Izzy. Or if you're going to use something milder, like shit, or fuck, or even c.
All: Davis!
Spaichi: I think we're going to have to fight him.
(60's Batman music starts playing in the background)
(Spaichi punches Spamato, "OOOF" appears on the screen)
(Spamato kicks Spoushirou in the nuts. "Crunch" appears on the screen)
Director: That's enough for today.
4.1 Davis' "line"
Ken: What do we play now?
Davis: How about strip poker?
TK: Are we playing "Questions Only?"
Cody: Isn't it obvious enough?
Yolei: Isn't what obvious enough?
Kari: Can we stop now?
Director: Yes. Cut!
Director: Take 2, action/
Ken: What do we play now?
Davis: How about strip poker?
Kari: How do you play that?
Davis: First everyone else leaves, then we strip, then you bend over, then I. . .
Director: CUT! CUT! IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS HOLY AND PROFANE, CUT!
Stagehand: What do we do now?
Director: We cut it off in the middle of "Poker" and have Mrs. Ichijoji come in.
4.2 At The "Young Wolves" Concert
Matt: (singing) I turn around.
(Matt turns and sees Jun)
Matt: And I'm nauseated!
Director: CUT!
Matt: I turn around.
Sora: Matt, that stage is too high. You could break your neck! Get down right now!
Ken: (making the "He's whipped" signal) ooh, Whippah!
TK: Whackish!
Ken: Whippah!
TK: Whackish!
Ken: Whippah!
TK: Whackish!
Ken: Whippah!
TK: Whackish!
Ken: Whippah!
TK: Whackish!
Ken: Whippah!
TK: Whackish!
Davis: Daipah!
Spas: Spakish!
Director: Cut!
4.3 Digimon invade the concert
Nerdy guy who works at the TV station: Maybe they're rock fans.
Izzy: Statistically speaking, the chances of Digimon having heard of rock music are 1,000,000,000,000 to 1.
Director: Cut! Izzy, stop showing off!
Izzy: Yes sir.
Jun: ( thinking) Matt will save me.
(the DarkTyranomon steps on her)
Director: Cut! Bring in another stalkerbot!
4.4 Final Scene
Davis: Ah, man, I forgot to kiss Kari under the mistletoe!
Kari: It's not too late.
Director: Cut!
4.5 Kari's "Night Before Christmas" poem
Kari: Twas the night before Christmas and all through the world,
Matt was on tour running from fangirls. (shows Matt running from Jun).
When Mimi wakes up she'll get a surprise,
Palmon doing unspeakable things with her vines (shows Palmon sitting on the floor extending her vines under Mimi's sheets).
Yolei had made Hawkmon armour Digivolve,
because of some "problems" she needed him to "solve". (shows Yolei dressed seductively infront of a nervous Shurimon)
Tai and Sora were having a great time.
Matt's not here and they're sure he won't mind.
Davis has stopped by my house for a bite.
If your mind's in the gutter, you're thinking right.
And now I say, as this poem is made.
Davis: Merry Christmas to all, now lets all get laid!
Director: Cut!
Well, there's my take on Digi-Bloop That. What do you think?
-Pistoffveemon
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