Luce shyly entered the costume shop, slipping through a door barely open. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the dim surroundings; costumes of plastic and cloth, leather and rubber, accessories of every imagination packed into more space than the front of the store revealed. The sound of a small bell hung in the doorway faded away to nothing as she stood in the small antechamber, breathing in the strange air that seemed to permeate these places near Halloween. She tasted that air, trying to determine its flavor.
Anticipation and a kind of gleeful joy seemed to float with the strange incense burning neat to a blue crystal ball, curling around it. In the other stores, though, these feelings were mostly of the joy of small children and the anticipation of the fun to follow. Here, it was... different. Older. An elation not of candy and sugar rushes... but of freedom, if only for a night. ~Freedom, wouldn't that be nice...~
"Can I help you, dearie?" came from nowhere. A wizened old woman stepped out from behind a display of cheap vampire cloaks and fake fangs. If she wasn't the Frog Prince's grandmother, she was at least some relation; warts all over, voice like a..well, a frog in the throat. And the green party light bulb above didn't seem to be helping her complexion at all. Luce paused, unsure whether to complement her on her costume and risk insulting the old woman for what might actually be her own face. She decided to sidestep that problem for awhile.
"Umm. Yes, I'm looking for a costume." Mentally, she groaned. ~Oh, smooth move! No, I'm in here for Jehovah's Witnesses. _Why_ am I here? I should just leave while the getting's good...~
The elderly woman didn't seem too phased by her vague request. "You've come to the right place then, dearie. Anything specific? Anything you've always wanted to be?"
Luce sighed. ~Anything but plain old, boring me!~ "I'm not really sure. There's this party, see, and I kinda have to go, but it's a costume party and I didn't have anything to wear, so I looked all over town but I couldn't find anything I liked and then I noticed your shop, so I came in." She took a deep breath. "Oh, and I'm Luce." she stated as an afterthought.
The old woman's head had cocked to once side through the long explanation. "Pleased to know of you, Luce. Perhaps we can shed some light on your problem. Now where to start..." She hmmed a bit and waved at Luce to follow her deeper into the store, heading that way without even turning to see if she was following.
Luce did follow, past bunny suits both naive and naughty, through a curtain made of feather boas, under a gunfight frozen between an Alien straight out of the movie and a Wild West man. The mannequins had no faces but the postures of both showed a long battle. Even though she had seen the movie, Luce put her mental money on the human, always a cheerer for the underdog. Finally the little old lady pulled back a curtain of shiny silver disks.
Stepping inside, Luce found herself surrounded by black, pierced here and there by blood red, royal purple, and moon silver, reflected back to her thousands of times by shiny surfaces. One end of the room held a door that led definitely to a changing room. The other end held a mirror the Queen in Snow White would have given her kingdom to possess. Next to the mirror, a smaller door stood firmly closed.
"There you go, Luce dear." The woman waved at the entire room. "Pick something out and try it out. Take as many as you like, and as long as you like. If you want an opinion, I'll be right out here." She pulled a chair out from behind a rack of robes and sat down. Once she was settled in, Luce could have almost sworn that it was just a Halloween dummy in the chair, even having seen her move just a few moments before.
Hesitantly, Luce picked through the racks. Reaching toward a slightly more risque' costume than she would have ever dared to wear, she looked over at the old woman. No response. Luce moved her hand away toward a simple cloak and looked again. Still no response, no censure for appearing to want the low cut gown nor for denying it for simple modest peasant garb. After awhile, Luce almost completely forgot she was there.
Luce continued to peer through the racks of costumes, time forgotten and not missed. Her arms full of costumes, both those admired and more practical, she made her way back to the changing room. She was a little surprised at the sparseness of the little room. Only hooks for the costumes and no mirror. ~Of course, it doesn't have a mirror in it! The mother of all mirrors is sitting in the next room!~ Resigned to her fate, Luce started trying on the costumes she had chosen...
The first two she tried on were uncomfortable, a bit drafty, and, even without a mirror, she knew that they weren't what she was looking for. Placing the outfits of spandex and who knows what on a different hook, she rolled her eyes. ~What are you trying to be, 'Mistress of the Dark'? Mistress of the dorks is more like it.~ She sighed and reached for a dark cotton shirt, something she thought might have come out of a Renaissance fair.
As she pulled it on, she noticed gauntlets in the sleeves already. ~Bother! I thought this was a peasant girl's blouse. Oh well, might as well try it.~ She laced up the sleeves and started on the front. ~I can see why they needed maids and squires to help with these outfits. How can you tie the sleeves tight enough to stay with only one hand?~ Luce frowned a bit as she laced up the front of the shirt. There had only been three ties for the shirt and the other two had been just right for the sleeves. But this tie was much too short for the lacings up the front. It only covered two rows out of five!
Blushing a bit, she finished the job and tucked the shirt in. The color blended in with her black jeans, though in the light from the bulb above it was hard to tell if the shirt was black or dark green or even a midnight blue. Luce smoothed the shirt down, feeling how soft it was. Though a bit more... immodest than she usually wore, it felt natural on her. ~And it's alot more modest than some of those Elvira get-ups!~ she thought grimly. Nervously, she grabbed at a black cloak hanging on one of the many hooks, fastening it with a catherine wheel brooch at the neck and slipping the hood over her head. Flipping the light off, she opened up the door to go back to the mirror and see what she looked like.
Maybe it was because she had just left a room with a really bright light but the mirror room seemed dimmer somehow. Shadows covered everything, pooling around dummies and racks. Her imagination working overtime, Luce thought she could see wisps of fog drifting out from nooks and crannies, extending from costumes like arms, beckoning her to join them. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed movement and instinctively moved toward it.
It looked like a woman, made of shadow and moonlight. Her face was hidden but Luce could see her neck like an ivory tower, proud and solitary; hands like lightning appearing here and there in the darkness. Curious, she moved closer to the woman and the woman moved toward her as well. ~She moves like a panther...a wildness that isn't tamed, only calmed for a time. The shadow of the moon, all mystery.~ Putting her hand out to the mystery woman, Luce's hand reached for cloth and found -- only smooth glass. "What in the? That was...me? No way! _I_ don't move like that! I don't _look_ like that!"
"Oh, I wouldn't say that, dearie." Luce jumped back away from the mirror. The old woman had risen from her chair in the shadows, obviously seeing all that had happened. "Clearly, you do move like that if you saw it. It's just that you get in the way of your body moving like that." She hobbled over to Luce and tapped her on the forehead. "Or, to put it better, the you up here gets in the way." Tilting her head like a bird, the little old lady asked, "I think you need a mask with that outfit. The cloak's hood is good but you shouldn't hide your pretty hair. We'll find you a nice mask." Reaching out, the woman opened the other door in the room...
..and they both stepped into a room out of a fairytale. Masks of every size and description covered the walls in a riot of color. Every color known and more, as if a rainbow had shattered in the confines of the tiny room, content to paint those pieces of cloth, plastic, and leather. Plain masks, sequined masks, masks whose eyes could close and open with the wearer's. Every inch of the walls were covered with masks...except for the back of the door. There hung a small mirror, very plain in frame but still clear as crystal, reflecting back the empty eyes surrounding it. Empty plastic shelves surrounded it, standing ready for more masks.
Luce turned 'round in awe, her eyes drinking in the glitter and beauty around her. She reached toward a feathered white owl half-mask but then stopped. Looking at the old woman, she shyly asked, "May I?" At her nod, Luce delicately picked the mask up off of its shelf. She tied the mask on and turned around to see herself in the mirror.
~Man, my eyes are _wide_!~ she thought. She tried looking wise but only ended up cross-eyed and laughing. The laughter seemed to bounce around for longer than such a tiny room should echo. As she tried to place the echo, she noticed how so many of the masks were smiling, almost laughing, with her.
She untied the mask and placed it on one of the empty shelves on the back of the door. The little old lady faded once again into the background as Luce looked from mask to mask. In one of the room's corners, she found a hooked rod to pull the higher masks off of their shelves. Starting near the door, she examined every mask. As she looked each over, she tried on this one and that, occasionally putting the mask back before she even turned around to the mirror.
Those that she did look at in the mirror never seemed to satisfy her. The ginger cat mask seemed too sleepy, the hawk mask too stern. She tried on a devil's horns and an angel's halo, Mardi Gra gold and Grim Reaper grey. But none of them seemed 'right.' She placed those that she thought might work on the empty shelves next to the mirror, but it was mostly as a second string list, backup if none really caught her attention.
She made it all the way back to the door, after who knows how much time had passed. The pile of masks at the door had grown to five: the owl mask, a dragon whose silver scales seemed to glow in the light from above, an eldritch fairy crown with pointed ears and silk flowers in a wreath, a pale white Pierrot face with an ice blue tear falling from one eye, and a plain black domino half-mask.
Luce pulled each mask from its shelf and tried it on again, looking carefully in the mirror. ~This isn't working!~ she sighed inwardly. She picked up the clown mask and stared into its empty eyes, turning it so that the frozen tear caught the light. "None of them are right! All I see is either me or someone else who couldn't possibly be me." The mask could only give her a sad smile in return, until a shadow fell over it.
Startled, she looked up to see the kind smile of the old woman. "Oh now dearie, are you sure of that? And what's the matter with seeing yourself?" Luce gaped, a thousand answers running through her mind, yet she couldn't put any into words. She could only mutely watch as the woman ran her fingers across each of the masks surrounding the mirror. Her hand stayed on the black domino mask the longest before dropping back out of sight. "That Pierrot is a pretty one, but I prefer the domino. Sometimes the simplest works the best."
~But all I see is me in it!~ Luce's mind yelled. Blushing and a little ashamed, she quietly commented, "Isn't the whole point of a mask to be someone else?"
The elderly lady's eyes seemed to burn in the light. "Only if you wish it to be that way, child," she whispered in a harsh croak. "Here sit down."
A chair was abruptly pushed into the back of Luce's legs, forcing her to sit. She stared into the mirror which was now at the perfect height for a shoulder view of herself. ~Yipee, there's me.~ she mentally sighed, rolling her eyes. ~Guess I'd better not sign up for that vampire's union, huh?~ Suspiciously, she turned to the little old woman. "What do you want me to do? That's just me in the mirror."
The woman shook her head and removed the masks from around the mirror. "Try them on again and this time, truly look into the mirror. Tell me what you see." She handed the girl the owl mask once more.
Luce sighed, placing the clown mask in her lap. She put it on, tying the straps behind her head. ~How ridiculous! I'm going to see me in an owl mask. Ooo, scary.~ Looking into the mirror, she was surprised at how dark it had become in the room. She could see only the faintest hints of the masks on the walls surrounding her. The glass of the mirror seemed to shine with moonlight as she tried to see the rest of the room in the reflection.
"What do you see?" came from the darkness surrounding her, the old woman's presence behind felt more than seen
"Myself," Luce started to say when the old woman's voice came out of the darkness once more, sharper.
"Not who you see, _what_! Do you want to go to this party?"
Luce blinked at the question. ~Of course I want to go. I said I'd go and everyone else will be there. Why wouldn't I go?~ "Sure," she said aloud, finally focusing on the reflection in front of her. To her amazement, an angry predator was reflected, searching for something...at her gasp though, the eyes widened, becoming her own brown orbs. ~Is that how I really look when I'm not thinking about it?~ she wondered, reaching for the reflection. At the last moment, a gnarled hand caught her own, pulling it back and placing the fairy queen mask into her palm.
Automatically, Luce removed the owl mask and put the new mask on, fussing this way and that with the long blond ringlets woven through the yellow and blue flower wreath attached to the mask. For some reason, the pointy earcaps just wouldn't fit over her own ears.
"Do you have fun at these parties?" jumped out of the shadows at her.
"Of course," Luce replied absentmindedly, still fiddling with the ear caps. ~Darn things. They fit just fine before! And what kind of question is that? Of course I have fun...well, except when I have to work the door by myself. Oh, and when I'm sent off to run errands by myself and no one even notices I'm gone.~
"Well, sometimes," Luce admitted slowly. Mentally, she frowned. ~But _someone_ has to do that stuff! If I didn't do it, they'd have no one and then where would we all be?~ The ears slipped on. ~There!~ She looked up into the mirror.
A cold and foreboding woman out of the tales of the true fairies looked haughtily out of the reflection. A smile could be seen at the corners of her mouth, but it was easy to tell that it was faked. Just a little notion around the eyes could be seen that the ivory tower wasn't to her liking, but otherwise she looked like the complete hostess for your every Enchanted Forest needs.
Luce backed up against her chair in shock. "What in the!" The eyes changed again, now hurt and lonely. Her hands trembling, she removed the mask, strands of her own hair getting caught in the wreath, the earcaps sliding off like silk.
The silver dragon mask seemed to glide out of the darkness into her hands. A whisper floated with it.
"Then why do you go?"
Luce stared at the mask now in her hands. Its eyes looked up at her, mere slits where her own eyes would be. She didn't feel like putting it on anymore. ~Oh yeah, like I haven't asked myself that at every party about an hour after I get there.~ Out loud she said, "I _said_ I'd be there and I _will_ be there."
A frown creased her forehead. ~Why? The drinks are okay, I guess. Some of the guys I think are cute'll be there. Not that they'd notice.~ The frown deepened. ~So what! I like the music! And I love to dance! It's not like anyone's _forcing_ me to go.~ The dragon simply stared back, pride covering every scale in a cold sheen. The frown disappeared. ~Well, besides me...~
Handing the dragon mask back over her shoulder, she whispered, "I said I would go."
The little old lady came into view now, holding the plain black domino mask. "I don't know why you're having so much trouble then. You said that you wanted to look different. And so you do, with each of these. Are you going to try on that one next or this?"
Luce gazed at the Pierott in her lap. She ran her fingers over the frozen smile, the tear endlessly running down the pale cheek. The old woman held the small black domino out to her and she took it, feeling the rasp of the fabric against her fingers. Taking it in her left hand and the Pierrot in her right, Luce tried each on, staring into the mirror, trying on a smile.
~They're both the same!~ she thought in shock. ~No matter what I do, they're the same! It's just a matter of whether I want to pick white or black. The frozen smile or mine. The eyes are the same and they're so sad...what am I _doing_? I'm so confused! It's just a silly mask...~
She jerked out of her reverie as a bony hand closed down on her shoulder. Startled, she looked up at the old woman.
"Not so easy to pick out one, eh? Hard to choose the right one?" She took the two masks away from Luce, bouncing each mask from hand to hand. "Very nice masks, but you can't wear both. Have to choose one. See?" She placed the domino on top of the clown mask. From a distance, it looked very dramatic and pretty, but close up, you could see that the eyeholes didn't quite match up right. "Can't really see well with an extra mask in the way. You have to choose which mask you want to wear for what occasion, for what people. It can make or break even the best costume."
Luce hung her head. "But they were all me. I mean, I only saw me in them."
The old woman laughed, a harsh croak of a laugh. "And what's the matter with that? You afraid that someone will look and you and say, 'There's Luce!'? Are you afraid to be her?"
The young woman stared at her. "How can I be afraid to be her? I _am_ her!" She sputtered to a stop, "I mean me!"
"Ah ah ah," the old woman muttered, waving a finger in front of Luce's face. "But which one?" She dropped the two masks into Luce's lap and then waved her arms at the entire room. "Which are you going to be?"
Luce blinked at her for a moment. Slowly she said, "Are you saying that all of these masks are me? But none of them look..."
Ashamed, she thought to herself, ~Happy. None of them are happy masks. They're all hurt or proud or cold, or something like that. Is she trying to tell me that I'm not happy?~ She looked down at the two masks again. One the simplest of masks, only eyeholes. Another a smile motionless through time while a tear rolled down a cheek, never to completely fall. ~Am I really like them?~
Luce looked into the mirror without wearing any of the masks. ~Well, it's not the best of looks. Versatile, a lot of character and personality. A bit sad, but nice eyes when they're happy.~ The thought made her smile a little. The smile made her look back at the Pierott mask, then at the masks surrounding her. She remembered how they had all seemed to laugh when she first came in.
~It was me. I changed them, how I saw them. The smiles were real until I wore the masks and thought their smiles were fake. Just because mine usually are.~ Sadly, she looked at the clown mask, her eyes starting to tear over. As her vision blurred, the smile on the mask seemed to move, became wider.
Luce laughed at the silliness of it all. ~I came in for a costume and now I'm sitting here crying!~ As her laughs echoed back to her, the mask's smile grew even wider. A sudden inspiration hit Luce.
"Excuse me," she hesitantly asked. "Do you know whether this mask is crying while it's smiling," she took a deep breath. "Or is it laughing so hard that it's crying?"
The smile on the shopkeeper's face lit up the room. "Depends on the wearer, dearie." She put the domino mask aside and took up the Pierott. "A very nice mask. So this is the one you picked?"
Luce stood up. "No," she quietly said. She reached out and took the small black domino mask. "I want this one."
At the old woman's surprised look, Luce gave a little smile. "It doesn't really matter which mask I pick. With this one though, I can drop the other masks I'm always wearing and maybe finally have some fun!"
The little old lady only smiled proudly in response, waving Luce through the doorway. The shadows in the mirror room had deepened even more in the time that they had spent in the mask room, but they felt less menacing than before. Luce quickly changed in the dressing room, folding the shirt and cloak carefully, pinning the broach on top of the cloak.
They left the mirror room and walked back through the store to the cash register. The little old lady rang the purchases up on a counter made of a tombstone. As the bill was totalled, Luce ran her fingers over the inscription 'G. I. Galo Life goes on without me!'
"I hope you have fun with your costume, dearie," the shopkeeper twittered. "I see so few customers lately. Especially such bright ones like yourself."
Luce smiled, blushing. "Oh I'm not bright. Just had to look in the mirror long enough." Taking the bag with her costume and mask, she caught a glance at her watch. "Oh my gosh! I'm _so_ late!" Luce turned to go, but stopped.
Taking the old woman's hand, she smiled. "Thank you very much for helping me! I'm sure I'll have fun at the party." And with that, Luce hurried out of the shop, a trail of incense dispersing in her midst. As the bell above the door jangled, the shopkeeper smiled even wider.
And when Luce stopped on the sidewalk to wave goodbye, all she could see was an empty shop, long since abandoned....
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