Have you ever had one of those days where everything that could possibly go wrong did? Has it ever gone on for a week? A month? Or even a year? No, of course not, that'd be unthinkable or would it? Not for Benedict Hopkins it's not. You see even though his parents named him with good intentions it seems he really was blessed. Though certainly not by whom his parents had hoped.
Now Benedict, Beni for short, had what you'd call a normal childhood. He was accident prone like all the rest of us were at that age. Although it was odd that no matter where he was he would always either break something, hurt himself, or cause someone else to get hurt. Even if the room were devoid of everything but Beni himself he could still manage to break an arm or a leg. This poor child seemed magnet for disater that only worsened with age.
Everywhere he went things would mysteriously break, short-out, run out of gas, and just plain foul up. If he happened to merely inquire about the lunch specials at a streetside cafe fights would erupt between a couple who had just mere moments before been professing their devotion to one another. For Beni, of course, it was just another normal everyday occourence. It was even so bad that black cats began watching to avoid having him cross -their- paths.
Not surprisingly he had few friends, and even those whom he considered friends wouldn't admit to that under oath because of the fear that some of his -luck- might rub off on them. That sort of puts your own bad days, stress attacks, and breakdowns into perspective doesn't it? Just remember to look around next time something mysteriously breaks or tragedy strikes. You might just catch sight of a man minding his own business, asking about the lunch special....
For example, Julia and Jan met Beni in a first year physics class. The two girls shared everything and, beginning with that first lab class, a lot of what they shared was talk about Beni.
"Could you believe that guy with the steel balls? What a hoot."
"I know! I felt so sorry for him. There must have been a grillion of them. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, everywhere! I bet that lab teacher never will find them all."
"Teacher's Assistant."
"Huh?"
"The lab teacher guy, he's really a grad student and he's a called a Teacher's Assistant. Actually, he's called a T.A."
"Alright, already, the T.A. will never find them all. And I thought it was mean the way he blamed it all on the guy. I mean, the first time maybe it was the guy's fault. But the second time, I know he wasn't touching that tray. I could see it. And the third time they fell, the guy was no where near it. The T.A. was hateful to lay it all on him. And calling him a "disaster" in front of the class was mean."
Jan laughed and shook her head. "I betcha they are both still there picking up those balls. The T.A. and the walking disaster."
"The W.D."
"Huh?"
"The T.A. and the W.D."
"Very funny."
It got less funny as time went on. By mid-semester their lab class had suffered two electrical fires and one concussive explosion that everyone agreed defied the very laws of physics they were intended to teach.
The T.A. disappeared from the campus. Decades later every science major knew the tale of the unnamed physicist - the most promising student and department darling who spent his life flipping burgers at the waffle shop on the east highway.
After his departure, the department head, Herself, taught Julia's and Jan's class - weird for such an elementary course. And no one would partner with Benedict for lab.
"I'm gonna do it, Jan. It's not W.D.'s fault and you know it. Even if everyone else says so."
"All right, Jules. I guess I can guard your back. But you're gonna be sorry."
When Julia wound up in the infirmary, Jan tried to hold her tongue. She failed. "You know I told you so."
"Thanks a lot for pointing that out. Very helpful."
A week later they argued outside the doors of the lab.
"You're not going in there, Julia. I swear, it will be over my dead body."
"The way things are going, you might not want to say that."
"Very funny. The point is this: You are not going in there. Beni is a big boy and he can study for his own test his own self. You are coming with me."
"All right, already, I give. I'm flunking this stupid course anyway. How much worse can it get?"
As they headed off campus, they heard the lab building alarms go off. The laughter died on their lips and they rushed all the faster toward the coffee house.
Jim, Jan's boyfriend, had a gig at the coffee house. He wasn't getting paid for it, but the manager let him practice his act on the little floor they called a stage. Jim preferred the term "Standup Prestidigitation." But everyone else called it the magic act, and it was getting popular.
They didn't talk about Beni or physics or grades. And they had a good time. Jim called an embarrassed Julia up with him to help with the big finale. He put her inside a box, plywood painted black with stars and glitter and hinges in more places than caught the eye. When he re-opened the box, ("Abracadabra!") Julia had been replaced with a live, pink-eyed rabbit. When he closed it again and opened it once more, ("Ackdabra back!") the white rabbit was still there.
It got a good laugh. Jim smoothly proceeded with a stage whisper, "Let's see. I know I left that girl around here somewhere." But on the fifth try, it became clear. Julia wasn't coming out from wherever Jim had stowed her. Jim threw up his hands and proceeded to take the box apart.
The audience had a great time with it. But Jan could see that Jim was sweating. She stepped up to help him, as did a small crowd of others who thought the whole thing was a fine joke, on them or on Jim, they didn't care.
"No joke, Jan. I don't understand why she's not here," Jim whispered nervously.
"Stop it, Jim," she said, "It's not funny, it's creepy. Julia wasn't even supposed to be here today. She has a test to study for and lab work to catch up on."
"That's right," said a boy's voice from behind her. "I was surprised to see her here. We were supposed to meet in the lab and I was thinking she was lucky to have skipped out. That place is a disaster today."
Jan turned. The boy speaking was Benedict Hopkins.
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