The sky is full of stars. More stars than anyone can count. It's hard to imagine anything more impersonal, really -- all those little lights burning up there for everyone to see.
And yet... with so many, many stars, it's simple enough to pick out a few to call your own. Maybe you do so as a child, barely out of single digits and catching the first inklings of life looming over the horizon. And you say to yourself, "That star will always be there for me, helping to light my path when the way is dark."
But as life goes on, more and more stars become -your- stars, simply because you have more cause to notice them. And after a time, it's easy for those first bright stars to fall away from your thoughts. Maybe the newer stars are closer to the horizon, so you needn't strain your neck to see them. Maybe you have so many stars of your own to see that you think it impossible to keep track of them all. Maybe you even start to think that keeping some of those stars for yourself is just more trouble than it's worth, and that you can always catch up on those stars somewhere down the road. After all, they're stars, right? Stars are forever.
Except that they aren't. Not really.
The thing nobody tells you about stars is that they -need- to be seen, and cherished. Neglected, a star may just go -out- -- no blaze of glory across the heavens, just a silent sigh in the night before the darkness swallows it whole.
Perhaps that's the worst part: You might not even notice that one of your stars is missing until someone points it out to you one bleak night, when an empty dark hole in the firament stares down at you soulessly where once burned one of your precious stars -- a star now gone forever, leaving a hole in your heart as deep as that hole in the sky, and just as eternal.
So please, please, -especially- at this time of year: Look to your stars. They need to be seen, and they are not forever.
- Dedicated to Brent, friend and star to me for over two decades
Dead by his own hand, Christmas Eve 2003
Please forgive me. I'm so, so sorry.
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