I thought ya'll might like to hear about my very favorite pastime. I have found that many alphas don't know about it, or if they do, they don't understand it.
So I thought I might try to educate some of you unfortunate alphas in the art of Crawlie hunting. If all of us Crawlie hunters do our part, maybe, just maybe, our sport will be in the next Olympics. You never know.
Crawlie hunting can be done anywhere at any time, but the best time (I have found) is at night in the bed with my two alphas. Their bed is just crawling with Crawlies. Crawlies always like to hide under stuff like the clothes that the bed wears and they move around under those clothes and make this irritating scratching sound. I have actually never seen a Crawlie out from under these clothes, but I have battled them nightly since I came to live with my alphas. You can find Crawlies anywhere on the bed under the clothes. They can be at the bottom of the bed or at the top. There is one Crawlie in my bed that lives right between my alphas and he is a really nasty one.
I wait every night for him to sound his ugly scratching sound. I wait at the bottom of the bed with both my ears perked up (as much as I can perk up my ears. I am a beagle after all) and all my attention focused on that one spot. The funny thing is, he never shows up until my blonde alpha gets in the bed. Right after she gets in under the clothes, I see a tiny movement right beside her. Sometimes I immediately pounce on this movement and sometimes I wait to hear the noise. When I'm sure of where the dastardly Crawlie is, I rear up and jump on that very spot hoping to surprise the Crawlie before he can retreat to some other place under the clothes. I paw at the clothes and bite them in the hopes that I will Kill that Crawlie before he can do something disgusting like grab my nose under the clothes or move under my alphas where I can't get to him. You know, I sometimes think my alphas actually help him get away from me. They aid the enemy so-to-speak. For instance, no matter how hard I try to paw the clothes off that Crawlie, they won't let me get the Crawlie uncovered. Sometimes he moves to the other side of my blonde alpha and I have to jump over her to get to him. Sometimes he gets on the other side of my dark alpha, and every once in a while I have to battle one down at my dark alpha's feet. The worst one, though is that dastardly Crawlie between my alphas. I battle him until my alphas tell me to stop because they want to hold what they call books in front of their faces. I've tried to see what the fascination is with those boxes of cardboard and sheets, but every time I go to examine them, my alphas tell me to leave their books alone, that that is not the way to "sink your teeth" in a good book. I just look puzzled because I don't know any other way to sink your teeth in anything. That's another story though in my daily life with my alphas. Once they tell me that hunting time is over, I retreat to the bottom of the bed and use that time to recover and gather my strength for the next hunting time. I still keep an ear perked until the alphas make the room go dark. Then I know for sure that hunting time is over. Until then, I stay alert. You never know when a Crawlie might decide to come out from hiding and the hunt starts all over again!
Well, I hope a few of you unfortunate alphas have learned a little more about the fine art of Crawlie hunting. If you need any further instruction, just contact your nearest dog. I'm sure they are experts in the craft as well and could probably add information about hunting in packs. My expertise is in solo hunting. I'm sure pack hunting is even more exciting.
Until next time, take care.