Gather ye round, young children, whilst I tell ye a tale. A tale of harrowing fear. A tale of unspeakable horror. A tale of small, cute, fluffy easter chickens. The tale of... The Easter Chicken from Hell!
Once apon a time, a young girl called Michelle was working
in the university computer lab. It was just after easter, and this young
girl was full of joy, conviviality, and disgusting quatities of easter
eggs. As Michelle sat there, contemplating the possibilities of creating
a humorous website called Michelle's Lounge, she suddenly noticed
the plethoras of fluffy easter chickens.
Yes- fluffy easter chickens. The computer lab was overrun
with them. (This turned out to be due to a certain person letting a pair
of them loose in the computer labs, and ... well, you know how those easter
chickens breed).
"How cute!" thought Michelle, heart full of girlish innocence.
"I'll take one home! (Only one, though- I don't want my house to be overrun
with miniature plastic poultry)".
She placed a single easter chicken in her pencil case
for safekeeping. "There you go, little chicken" she cooed. "I'll take you
home, and you can live happily without fear of miniature plastic foxes".
Then, she promply forgot about it.
Big mistake.
Six months later...
Michelle was sitting in harmony class, desperately trying
to understand the complete gibberish spewing from the lecturer's mouth.
While rapidly flicking through her gibberish-to-english dictionary, she
reached for a pencil. Suddenly, her hand touched something fluffy.
"What the hell?" she thought.
She slowly opened her pencil case. Suddenly, she recoiled
in horror. For, before her stood...
The Easter Chicken From Hell!
After six months in Michelle's pencil case, the chicken
had undergone a radical metamorphasis. With nothing to eat but pencil shavings
and paper clips, the chicken had become a hideous, twisted figure. It's
once yellow feathers had turned a grey/green colour. It's vibrant plumage
had wilted. It's orange feet were bent and scratched.
And it was mad. Really, really mad.
Fortunately, it could do nothing about it. It was plastic,
remember? So, it just stood there, rather like... well... the inanimate
object that it was.
And thus concludes the legend of... The Easter Chicken
From Hell!
Come to think of it, there wasn't much horror in that story was there? Hang on, I'll fix that. So whatever you do, don't think about Danny DeVito in a bikini!
There, that ought to do it.