It started out a pretty good day. You woke up, and had a nice breakfast. Heard your favorite song played on the radio. Got every green light on the way to work. As you sat at the computer, you idly thought- "maybe I'll check my email".
('Jaws' theme music)
You log in. Open your inbox.
(Theme music grows louder)
You turn around and tell the orchestra to shut up.
(Orchestra grumbles, packs up their instruments, and slinks out).
You turn back to your computer, and...
(The double bass player, who hasn't left yet, strikes a dramatic chord...)
"No! God, No!" you helplessly scream.
Your inbox is crammed with FORWARDS.

Forwards. Enemy of decent emailers everywhere. How many times have you opened up your inbox, looking forward to a nice message from your Aunt Gladys in Vladivostok, and instead receive a message called 'Hugs' from that guy you chatted to online for half an hour two years ago? Or a message that elaborates on the horrible ways you, your loved ones, and anyone who has ever laid eyes on you will suffer if you don't pass this message on? And just in case you feel a bit doubtful as to how a few pixels could possibly cause you to have your skin slowly peeled from your body, the creator assures you that, unlike other identical messages, "THIS IS NOT A HOAX".

This ridiculousness must stop now. As President and founding member of 'Fighting For a Forward Free Future' (F.F.F.F.F.) I believe it is the duty of all red blooded email users to wage war on this internet menace. "But how can we fight such a powerful enemy?" I hear you cry.

With irony.

Bitter, bitter IRONY.