Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, lived a young and beautiful princess.
 
 

Her father, the King, invited all the fairies of the land to come to a huge banquet in his daughter's honour. The day of the banquet arrived. Revellers gathered in the ballroom, awaiting the arrival of the fairies. Suddenly, a trumpet sounded! The fairies had arrived! The huge double doors swung open-

The fairies jiggy-ed their way into the ballroom, and over to the cradle where the beautiful princess lay. One by one, they bestowed gifts upon the child.
"I give her the ability to break it down, old school!" said the first.
"I bestow upon her a love of strange and unnatural fabrics, particularly polyester" said the second.
"She shall have the ability to use hip slang in such a manner that she shall be almost incomprehensible" said the third.
"She shall dance in a jerky and unnatural way" added the fourth.
"She..."

Just then, a commotion was heard at the other end of the hall. Storming toward them came-

"Alanis Morissette! What are you doing here?" demanded the King.
"Why didn't you invite me to the banquet? Am I too full of angst for you? Are you unable to comprehend my deep, meaningful emotional pain?" she wailed.
"Actually, it's because no one can stand your God-awful Canadian accent" the King replied.
"Well, since I am here, I too have a gift to give the child..."
A tense silence filled the room. It was abruptly broken by a voice saying "Jiggy".
Everyone turned to stare at the fairies. "Who said that?" demanded the King?
One of them sheepishly raised his hand. "Sorry" he said. "I have to say a buzz-word every three minutes or my head will explode".
The King let out a long sigh. "Bloody Backstreet Boys" he said.
"We're N'Sync!" one  of them exclaimed.
"Yeah, well, what's the difference?" sulked the king. "Whoever you are, you've ruined a perfectly good dramatic climax".
"Silence!" cried Alanis. "I decree that this child shall be a fan of... Indie music!"
A great gasp went up around the room. "No! Not Indie music!" cried the King. "Anything but that!"
"And," Alanis continued, "when she is sixteen years old she will prick her finger on a guitar pick and fall asleep- forever! Mwoh ha ha ha ha!"
And with that, she turned and swept out of the hall.
Another long silence followed- that is, until a voice muttered quietly- "Word".
"Jesus Christ!" the King roared. "Do you have to ruin every dramatic moment in this story?"
"Sorry" came a sheepish voice. "It's a medical condition, okay?"
The fifth fairy stepped forward.
"I can't undo everything that Alanis has done" he said. "Your daughter will prick her finger on a guitar pick and fall asleep. But, she will only sleep for a hundred years, and at the end of that time, a handsome pop vocalist will awaken her with a kiss".
"A hundred years!?" said the King. "What kind of comfort is that? I'll be dead at the end of that, you idiot! And I don't want my innocent daughter taking up with some brain-dead pop star! Get the hell out of my house, the lot of you!"
The royal guards escorted them from the hall, ignoring comments like- "Hey, dude, watch the threads, kay?" "Aaaah! Aaaah! You're messing up my hair!" "Woah, G, this is whack" and "Hey, man, you're pretty hot. Wanna get together sometime and play 'hide-the-sausage'?"
The King turned away. "Gayer than a tree full of monkeys on Nitrous Oxide" he muttered. He turned to his wife. "Dear" he said "if I ever have another stupid idea like this, shoot me."