Jokes from Russia
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Jokes from Russia (Family)
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One friend asks the other one: "I am curious if your husband remembers your wedding
Anniversary."
"Luckily he doesn't!" "Why luckily?" "Well, I remind him of our wedding
anniversary several times a year and receive gifts every time I do that!"
3 friends are having a conversation.
" Life starts the moment of birth," says one.
" No, life starts the moment of conception," says the other one.
"You are both wrong: life starts when wife and children leave for the dacha!"
A husband is reading a newspaper. He comments on an article that he has just read:
"I have always been telling you that women are too talkative. Look, they are
writing here that a woman says 2200 words a day, while a man - only 1100. "
"That's because women have to repeat twice whatever they say!"
"What?"
Yesterday I lost an extra 180 pounds.
I got a divorce.
Ivan's mother-in-law has just arrived from the village with a visit.
She unloaded her bags with gifts - cucumbers, potatoes, tomatoes and other stuff from her garden.
"Thank you," Ivan says. "How long are you here for?"
"I will stay as long as you guys want me to stay," she answers.
"Why, aren't you going to stay for some tea?"
A father is checking the homework of his small son.
"Why aren’t these flourishes you are writing straight enough? At your age I was able to write better," he is saying to his son.
"It’s not flourishes, father. It’s integrals..."
"Doctor, my wife has lost her voice! What should I do?"
"Try to come home at 3 am!"
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