Jokes from Russia
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Jokes from Russia (Politics)
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In the Kremlin, during a solemn meeting, Yeltsin forwarded to Putin the suitcase
with nuclear button. After that he pulled Putin aside so that he could
confidentially share the most important state secret with him: "The button doesn't
work!"
A man turns on TV. On the first TV channel dear Leonid Ilyich Brezhnev is making a
Speech. He switches TV to another channel - again Brezhnev. The third channel -
still Brezhnev! Desperately hoping to get something else, the man switched his TV
to the fourth channel - this time, what he saw was a close-up of a KGB officer who
was shaking his fist, saying: "Just try and switch it one more time..."
At the forum in Davos.
"Who is Mr. Putin?"
"Wait, and you will see."
The regiment is anxiously waiting for the commander, Vassily Ivanovich Chapaev. Finally he appears, large as life, and addresses his soldiers with the following words, "Hello, eagles!"
"Hello, comrade commander!" reply the soldiers.
"Tell me, do the birds need money?" Chapaev asks.
"Of course not!" reply the soldiers.
"That's right, eagles! That's why I spent all your money in the bar!" Chapaev says.
"Who is your favorite poet?"
"Vladimir Vladimirovich Mayakovsky."
"Who is your favorite author?"
"Vladimir Vladimirovich Nabokov."
"Who is your favorite political leader?"
"Why don't you just cut it off?"*
* Putin's full name is Vladimir Vladimirovich
Enlightenment is the light, ignorance is a pleasant semidarkness.
Electors are asking Putin, "So, where are you going to lead us? "
"I am not gonna lead you, I am gonna send you!"
March 26. Russia. They are about to announce the winner in the category
"Tragicomedy of the Year".
"And the Oscar goes to... no need to open the envelope!"
When Americans walked on the moon, General Secretary of the Soviet Union called the Russian cosmonauts and said, "Do you know that Americans are on the moon? Well, this is not a big deal… We need to beat them. We will send you to the sun…"
"But we will burn there!" cosmonauts replied.
"Don't think we, in the government, are stupid. We will send you there at night…"
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