From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
Subject: good morning......
Without
getting pathetic, romantic or soppy...............................
Lovely weekend!
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Dirty Weekend
Just checked my emails, and all quite boring until your's came into view..
Nothing like a dirty weekend to make Monday's a bit more bearable
(spelling?) I'll have to be on my best behaviour, emailing a famous poet
and all, you're not one of these crazies that crosses the I's and dots the
T's are you... Just realised I haven't got a lot of work on at the moment,
could be a fairly uneventful week behind the desk.. I do have a few sore
muscles that will take me a few days to loosen up.. They are not used to
all that exercise..
Well, must get back to it.
Scotty xx
From: "Tamika Dalgleish" <Tammmid@myplace.net.au
To: "Tanyia" <tanni_00@hotmail.com
Subject: I'm going nuts, shake me back into reality.......
Date:
He
just rang me...... oh god I feel so sick....... got a stupid smile
pasted
on my face all day and then got really sad cause I wish I had waited for him to
get home from golf this afternoon.....
and
then he didn't ring......... and got pathetic sad......
and then he rang,,,, and I ran up and down the
steps
and jumped on my bed and somersaulted over the carpet and did belly flops on
the bean bag and cartwheeled over the banister and
laughed and carried on like a complete nutter with a
weekend out...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shit...........................I hate this, I really hate it....
I
don't want to want anyone, its way too hard....... its all too hard
fuck fuck fuck!!!!!!!!!!......
But
he is a sweet thing despite the outside “hero” act, said sweet…. no, cute things..... I am
totally fucked up.....screwed.
can
you imagine the look on my face while I'm writing this!??????
Bloody……
shit..... damned it… ...bum....
LOST
IT!!!
SOMEONE SLAP ME!!????
I
am definitely not in love... and definiately not
going there!!!!! safe not in love, I can joke about it..hes
tht type, one
thing I have in my favor…. I know that but I don't know what the hell I'm
thinking
…. This is bad enough,. Geesh!!!!
can't
afford to get fucked over again............. sucked in.... but
he's
seems different.........................somehow, held me so beautifully this
morning..............pretended he wanted me to stay…I think it was pretending, 
or maybe he is as scared as I am
ANOTHER
BLOODY
SUCK IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooooooo dumb!!!!!!!!
How
can I fall when I’ve been tough so long, and why with such a …. ummmmmm , self centred,
typical male. It doesn’t make any sense
at all. I get treated like a queen by so
many others, yet.. get excited over this one….. HELP
ps.... but by golly.... never had so many orgasms in
my life!!!!!!!!
very
unselfish
PPS
SOoooooo sorry sweety...
just had to vent that somewhere. get it out of
my
system before I ram myself through the
floor
From: Tanyia Walker
Date:
Subject: Re: I'm going nuts, shake me back
into reality.......
Let yourself go Tam, you
deserve to be cared for. Let yourself
go. You owe it to yourself, think of you
for a change. You can’t keep turning
them away forever…..time after time.
What is the point, you are on a different date every second night and no
one even means anything to you, are you
punishing yourself or what?
Its about time you let some
of that overwhelming energy flow over to someone who can retain it. . You
know that you know for a reason
, you havn’t
been wrong yet so trust.. and what about
that dream you told me of the other week?
Couldn’t this be something to do with it…. I know you’ll deny it but shit… sometimes it will do you good, sometimes you
have to let go of your stubborn strength. Let it show you the right path… works both ways
Just relax girl, let what will be be.
Love tan
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Dirty
Weekend
I was wondering how your toes were last
night.....????? now that could just mean "were they
cold?"....... or maybe I was thinking something else..
I am sure you will pick me up on
quite a few spelling mistakes!!!.... don't worry I have not met a
man yet who writes correct punctuation spelling and
grammar......... does not alter the content......
on
all English for you............
Attached sick note in case you
need a day off.................................
couldn't be far off the mark, feel free to give them my number for
verification...............
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Young lady
Ma'dame,
Will be springing that gift voucher on you at the most inappropriate
time.. I would also like to receive one for some oral sex. Do you have any
of those available?
It was a bit on the nipply side last night.. May have to change to my
smaller, yet warmer doona until my new addition turns up on Friday.. My
toes copped a bit of a shock.. That was the coldest night I have endured
since I have been down this way.
I see you were up to ungodly hours again last night, I don't know how
you do it.. I spose being able
sleep in to
to get you're JLO beauty sleep..
Scotty
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Ettiquette.........
CHEEKY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well Mr
Kellam,............................ inappropriate time
huh... You think you can shock me
.
.............. the dare is on.
It seems you did not read the back of the
voucher,.... ... goodness gracious
Gift voucher must be produced to redeem
( you think you will be able to print it out at work?)
Bookings are essential,
you know I am an assiduous lady, and besides.... don't
know the man that will be giving the massage will be available on short
notice....
and fellatio, I will have to ask him if it is
included in the service or a separate booking necessary...
(shouldn't be a problem though, he may enjoy it)
if not you may have to ask Jon.......... he's
tells that he is very good.....
.
The toe
comment over your head huh........ zooooommmmmmmmmmmmm
Hmmmmm, wasn't
too late, got a little carried away with
writing, ...went to bed at 2 which isn't bad but received a phone
call just as I was drifting.............................. but I think
I've over come a requirement for sleep.... must be as I"m getting younger!!!!!!!
Rejuvenating!!
....... I'll have you know I was up at 7.30 to pick up my
niece and take her to kinder.
Luckily the JLO comment saved
you................ but as I said... I
WISH (or you wish !!! )
But being sweet will get you everywhere!!! ......
best you be on your most inimitable
behavior...................Soy una ramera absoluta cuando necesario!!!
So I guess I will expect a more appropriate e-mail......in
which I will be able to respond a little more accommodatingly
.................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
................................................................................liked your golf shorts by the way
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Talk dirty to me - I love it!
Dearest Jennifer,
Call me stupid, call me ignorant, but I needed the dictionary a
couple of times to decipher you're email.. Some big words in there girly,
my brain hurts just thinking about them..
As for the gift voucher, printed it out already, and have placed in a
secret hiding place...... As long as the lights are turned off, I don't
really care who is doing the rubbing and tugging....There are some pretty
ugly blokes out in the world.. Would probably prefer a lady with a bit of
a shady past... There is one that comes to mind, I hope she is
available......
Sorry, the toe comment did seem to skip by without me catching that
one... Thinking back, I still have absolutely no idea what you
meant..Please enlighten, you know how I like to be kept in the picture.. 'm
guessing you were being rude..
Another late one I see last night, I got all domestic.. have to do
the vacuuming and mopping before the weekend.. Don't want my sister to
think I am a pig...
Anyway, I'm glad you liked my shorts, They are my faves, you'll no
doubt see them again. I tend to get quite hooked on certain bits of
clothing..
Gotta go......talk later..
Arseman
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Talk dirty
to me - I love it!
hmmmmm,
now what will I call
you.......? have to think about that
one!!!!
****
My goodness, dug
yourself a little bit of a hole with that comment dear, (I knew
those little footy shorts and slippers were a little
suspicious.... explains why you like to stay at Jon's so often!!!
)
So I have competition.........
hmmm don't like that very much, might have to get bitchy and pull
hair......... oh well, at least of the advantage of
breasts.
****
“toes” I seem to recall it is the
second time I have used that comment, think I may have left it on an
answering machine in a dipsomaniacal (groggy) state....
gee.... hope it was yours!!!!!!....could find myself in all sorts of trouble.
Have to leave you wondering on that
one, I like being in the know, drop it every now and then and
create a little more frustration!!!!!
****
Best you not let your sister near
anyone you know then!!!!!!!!!!! But I must admit..... the cleanliness of your
apartment was impressive, but I am sure there are some other secrets you
would not want her to know!!!!
****
So what have you wiped down with
those shorts to create an attachment?? Shame they don't go with the
t-shirt.......................
****
About 2am again last night, but
I practically died when my head hit the pillow..... knocked out cold for
some reason, must have been a shock to the system spending 4 hours in the
gym to make up.... it makes me hyper at the best of times but I was
bouncing of walls for ages after it, even jogged back to the car ...went
and washed my car, did a couple of blocks when I got home......then ran
around the house like a crazy woman for a while.....
When I finally settled down I found
no cigarettes left, so went to Coles in my PJs
and slippers..... drove past the Jamaican restaurant and smelt so
nice I had to stop and get something ...
****
A million things to do today,
so best I start... not even dressed yet.
Ciao
Education for the day.
empyrean...Definition; pleasure, a feeling of joy, to delight, awaken
and satisfy your senses, your sensuality, nourishing your
soul.
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: buddies%AUSTDEFENCE@drnln.defence.gov.au; Tammmid@myplace.net.au
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-sec:unclass
ED 60*s style
Subject:
SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-sec:unclass ED 60*s style
-Thank the
gods' we don't have to do that anymore hey..........well some of
us
anyway..............V....xx
You'd
remember this wouldn't ya Jack.......?
Sex ED 60*s
style
This is an
actual extract from a sex education school textbook for girls,
printed in
the early 60's in the
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
Subject: RETALIATION- 30 things a man does not want to
hear
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika
Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-RETALIATION
Is there
supposed to be some sort of connection between myself and
those nasty comments..
I sort of get the feeling you have a low opinion of
my prowess
when you send it to me not once, but three times..
You are a
nasty piece of work Hope.
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: preferences
.......... From the journal of todays
woman......,
Let me take you on a journey
Of Sensual,
Tactile delight
Explore the senses
Revel in Pleasure
move to our own rhythm
I will set the stage
You may set the pace............
....................................
but maybe you
would prefer 60 year olds anyway?
Thats enough for
now, ............. to be
continued.......... maybe........ if you adhere to
gentlemanly etiquette????
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
Hey
you,.......
Business
dinner became a little extreme....long story...(keep your mind out of the
gutter...........
But I got my
phone back at bout 1am... yours was one of the last dialed numbers so
apologies for any unwarranted calls...........
Offenders now
being tortured......
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
Subject: Good morning
Stretch....yawn...... little
smile....... Good Morning Sunshine.... Hows your head? 
(Oh
my goodness....crack myself up!!!!)
Hmmmmmm, nothing to greet me with
this morning................ you mean I have to try to be nice all
by myself?????????? GEESH!!!!!!!!!!!
Absolutely lovely to just lay in bed and think about getting up
eventually.
....then the thought of what was consumed last night makes my head
spin so stay a little longer........
An article in a magazine tickled me yesterday, thought it
may be your cup of tea....
but my scanner isn't working so...........
"The first naked flight has carried
87 passengers from
Castaways
travel agency, which offers clothing optional getaways, offered the trip for
$785.
At
cruising altitude, passengers and crew, got nude. Hot coffee, tea and
sexual antics were all banned."
Sorry......no pictures........ well.. that you
are permitted to see, could throw in a few of my old modeling
photos...LOL........NOT!!!!!!!!
I am being thrown abuse from all directions.... must
say I cannot complain about the cause.......
.....stuck for words ...... unusual for me....
feels like a Sunday morning....
sooooooo........... something to
read?.......
"The heat saps me of all
energy but enflames passion////////////oblivious to what is actually soothing //////////////
with the sound of the ocean///////////////////As the pith of the sun-touches the
edge/////////////////////// the arch of my back ….the shiver
thrills me, like I have been touched
by an angel in my heavenly state.
Arousal absorbs my entire being in
one instant, as I come back to
reality //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
as I turn back towards you, the same dreamy look but focussed
on you now. //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////.
Crushing me towards your body so close it is undistinguishable if we are
one or two
people.///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
The feeling rushes from my stomach to
my mind making me light-headed, dizzy.
Then shoots downwards to that ache of
longing, muscles tightening in anticipation..////////////////////////////////////////////
the wet sand with the waves caressing
our legs, your finger tips//////away straps and cloth.////
above me, your weight on my right leg
gently////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
I am starving but unable to do
anything, your every movement //////////////move only to your rhythm,
/////////////////
back arches with pleasure as your
lips brush down my neck to my //////////////////////////////////////
the sky over your shoulder and the
thought that it is dull compared to this fleets through my mind.
The tide is rising and we are waist
deep in the water, emphasizing
//////////////////////////////////////////////////
muscles rippling /////////////t//////////////////////////////////////////
and not let go, in a simultaneous
explosion,
We did not see
The white gulls fly
Across a darkening sky
To shelter in the cliffs
Above the ocean-
We did not hear
The sound of thunder
Echoing through the hills
Beyond the bay
Nor did we feel
The first warm raindrops
Of summer rain
And when lightening
Flashed its urgent warning
Of the coming squall,
We stayed there on the beach
Lost in our loving-
We never knew
If there was a storm that day
At all"
Sorry, screened
version.......can't have anything too steamy at work....What would people
say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Must leave you on
that note.... for my Oh so busy day..!!?
Ciao.....
(hope this
note has not been to cryptic..... not purposely trying to ...how did you put
it? "fuck with your head"
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Good morning
Nothing to greet you this morning, as my head is full of fuzz.. That
little novel you wrote was just too much for this gringo to read.. The
censorship was in very poor taste.. You could have left a few GOOD BITS in
there..
What are you wearing? mmmmmmm
Coming down you're way tomorow for work, don't know a lot of details
about it as yet, but I may get an hour or so for a little bit of lunch, if
you know what I mean.. Am getting hornier by the hour, you are in big
trouble next time our paths cross..
Starting to near that little town called Struggle, think I may give
myself an early mark this arvo, I'll be dying in the arse tonight, that's
for sure.. Have to be raring to go for the weekend.. Getting too old for
this shit.. Will refrain from these midweek swarays from this day forward..
Seeya xxxxx
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
oh.....forgot to
tell you..........93185994........ it was on the card that you generously gave
away!!!!!!!
if its engaged at night its because I'm on the net...
so buzz the mobile twice and I'll disconnect........
...must have been quite tipsy last night...... seem
to remember something about "what the boys think"
?????????????? What the hell was that????
........... it will drive me nuts now.
................just got your message mid type...........
Too much to read???? you mean you did not
understand? 
…oh
that’s right… the intelligence
factor!!!!!!
Well..... you are extremely privileged to receive even
part of my writing......... not even Tanyia
sees.
wearing........ just got dressed in frilly floral
dress.... sorry
Now this going out during the week takes some practice, it
can be mastered if you put your mind to it........ or does
that mean there will be no mid week raunches?
....gee, thats a bit sad........
Getting old....??? come now.... don't think you will
ever grow up.... its a good way to be...I’m
impressed.. and only as old as the woman you feel, so if you
refrain that means you are NONE.... a big fat 0
...........yep...kids will run you ragged... nothing more
exhausting, looked after a hundred for a Myer fashion festival
... had to sleep for three days afterwards.. but it was hell of a
lot of fun!!!!!!!!!!
I'm having my brother on Saturday, picking up from
Basketball in .......
hmmmmm.... don't know about that
one!!!!!!!!
But we'll do some silly thing....thought we'd take advantage of
the situation since mothers day is one of the rare occasions I visit and can
take him home.
Let you get back to your head fuzz thing...............oh ,
poor Scotty!!!!!!!!!!
Got to move....................
CIAO
Tamika
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
Subject: short and sweet
hey you.........
obviously overwhelmed you again with
emails........................
.......best
I stick to voice......
sooooooooooooooooo, should I be preparing "lunch" ?
....placing orders?
I am sure you are well and truly dead
to the world right now............ all that mopping and cleaning,
maybe you should hire a maid???!!!! I didn't think men were supposed to
do that............lol
Think I have your
flu........ I fainted at gym today, thought it
was just that I was doing too much.. but did not feel at all
well.....GEE THANKS!!!!! (joke)
Looked at new lounge.s.....
I will never feel comfortable on my current one, cushions or no cushions, after
laying on yours.......
looks to be another late one for
me, I can't stop writing...... have to make the most of it......
yep well... best I shut up
now.....
CIAO
Tam
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-short and sweet
You can send me as many emails as you feel compelled to send...Gives me
something to help pass the day.. Was a bit on the slow side yesterday, the
brain wasn't feeling very witty, plus our lotus notes kept playing up..
Technology is a wonderful thing..
As for lunch, I really won't know timings until we are down there..
There are about 6 of us heading down at 9.30 to look at a few things, but I
have no idea at this stage.. Just be naked between 10.00 and 2.00 in case.
If I was a betting man, I'd say the chances of me getting around to you are
slim, my sister gets here mid arvo as well, so I have to do some juggling..
I left work about 1.30 yesterday, trained it home.. Got my domestic
stuff out of the way (except the mopping) I couldn't bring myself to do
that one.. Climbed into bed at 7.50 and I'm sure I was asleep by 8.00.. Had
a lovely sleep,feel like a new man..Ready for the CRUSTY Demons tonight..
Taking the kids to the zoo tomorrow, and maybe the aquarium, have to see
for time. One animally place for the day might be enough..
A new lounge, sounds good, It has to be big enough for 2 people to
curl up on and watch a movie (preferrably nude).. What are you going to do
with the old one..That will turn into a "later" project.
Well Hope you have a lovely weekend, don't do anything I wouldn't
do..No doubt you're off to PJ's tonight, tomorrow night etc.. Jon has got
his oldies here for the weekend, so
us.. I'm sure you'll find something to do...... Actually, aren't you sick
(not me by the way, one of those other fellas I would be guessing), you
should have a quiet one as well.. A new sensation to wake up early on a
Saturday without a hangover...Not one I would highly recommend though..
Be Good
Scotty xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-short and
sweet
Well, morning…….. finding a lack this morning sir
Seems you may have put me in the
wrong basket Mr Kellam,...... I
am far from being the "sit around and wait" type of girl and
find it a little distasteful with colleagues waiting for you..... errr, kind of turns my
stomach....... Maybe one of us is blonde.. but
certainly not my style..........
you best be taking some lessons in expectations
....I have a meeting with my
publisher to day for the final draft..... make the a few minor changes and most
probably be completed by Tuesday, then of course gym.. can't
get through the day with out getting rid of that extra adrenaline and picks me
up for the evening then have an appointment for all those girly luxuries
No PJs
actually....... Going to the ballet (may sound boring to you
but I need my culture, different feeling to that of alcohol but similar
in retrospect) Then Blue Heelers wrap party.... could be quite an
interesting evening......
Tomorrow I'm picking up my 13 year
old brother and undoubtedly do some crazy things.. not exactly sure what
....but doubt very much that it will be inclusive of alcohol. I'm taking
him home on Sunday so will get up to some sort of childish stuff Saturday
night, I don't know who is more imature when it
comes to kid things.....actually that's a lie, I do know........so he'll have
to keep me under control, maybe have to pull out the old reins. Going to
the Vic market (haven't bought mothers day pressie
yet) on Sunday morning before that trip that I long for..... well..
much sarcasm in that one.
Didn't go to bed until
Was full of energy last night,
cleaned the entire house (again, had to slap Glenn around a
bit, )
When I sat down to the computer
had 15 people wanting to chat at once, started to do my head in
trying to keep up, so went back down stairs and cooked up a few
pots... Pork Korma, Chicken Stroganoff and a few other
concoctions, strange for a vego but I'm
sure the footy club will be in and out during the weekend to eat what my
brother cannot. I even made a bread and butter pudding which I have not
had since my Grandma used to make it, didn't intend to have any but
after it had been in the oven for an hour the entire house smelt
absolutely superb, Glenn even got out of bed for it!!! So
adrenaline was obviously pumping, up and down like a yoyo..... always
seems to happen after gym.... even though it was only an hour...
must have kicked in anyway.
I would send more emails, but
its kind of uninspiring without a reply.
Yes, getting a
cold.......... if you do not remember, Sunday morning when I asked if I
snored because of my sinuses you told me that you had just gotten over it and I
would undoubtedly get it....... so I doubt was "one of those other fellas" who are kept at arms length.
But I am stubborn as a mule when it
comes to illness (well, just stubborn in general) the worse I feel the
more I ignore it and do more rather than less. Had Alanna
calling this morning to go and be nursed at her house for the
weekend...... lovely thought, but does not sound very much fun.
.....hmmm, something I have
forgotten, but ....... thems the
breaks....
CIAO, ....have fun
Tamika
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
Subject: ....first intoxicated email.... I
will not be held responsible for content.....
Hey you............
I intended this message to
be extremely short....................... but I can tell you ..it is a
long way home on your lonesome............
What a night....obviously
well and truly ., tanked.!!!!!!! don't actually remember
being so water logged.....
Some very interesting
conversations???!!!!! ...were your ears burning??????
And eye candy to
boot!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wooooooooooooohhh………
hightened my libido quite a bit
Well, I have managed
to control my dialing finger to prevent waking the family....vocal chords
prepared and all........ lol...lucky for
you boy.
Unfortunately my email has
been tuned to prevent any communication of explicit nature..... so you
have lucked out..... Actually all of these intentional scripts
planned on my way home have become quite boring.......
must have lost the earge ..........
So many places I have not
noticed along the promenade this evening??........just lovely
...... wink wink nudge nudge
How was the
zoo....... .........deleted next sentence....LOL
Sorry to advise, but
Well...must go to my mothers
to pick up some much required belongings.... if you get my drift.....
obviously well
tamed.... much to your disappointment........ BUT HOME
ALONE (damned loyalty)
Tamika.......
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-...drunken bum..
Well, well,well.... Out on the wop again.. I'm sure you told me there was
an alcohol free weekend heading you're way.. Couldn't stay away hah... I
tell you one thing though, there is a fair chance Jon and I might drink a
bourbon or two come Friday night.. I had three beers all weekend, not that
I'm complaining, was quite refreshing to wake up on the weekend, and
actually have a clear mind..
Had a lovely couple of days, the kids didn't even know we were going
to Crusties until we arrived at Rod Laver arena..and then it took some time
to catch on....not real smart these country folk!!....Good night though.
Did the zoo thing on Saturday, typical tourist attraction, plenty of
walking, exhorbatant food prices, and big crowds, all pushing, trying to
get a glimpse of a sleeping gorilla etc... Went out for a feed on Saturday
night, couple of quities, home by 9.30, in bed by 11.00, all buggared from
that hectic couple of days..
You would have been a bit groggy yesterday, no doubt the drive to
Wandong was a bit hazy.. As long as you brought back that critical
contriband, you've had a fulfilling weekend..
You'll probably be getting you're monday morning sleep in about now,
half you're luck, so I'll talk later when you have recovered....Gotta get
back to work..
Talk soon....
Scotty "the penetrator" kellam
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: not a bum at all
Hmmmm....did I send that????????...
gee must have been in fine form for that time of the morning, didn't make
alot of sense.... Tanyia
had a laugh at my expense when I sent her what must have been a
spicier follow up to that mistakenly......an error I am relieved I
made.... dipped out again poor boy!!!!
I must have been on a little email
binge, some not so nice ones went out, you were in the lucky
category.
one hell of a weekend!!!!!
It seemed soooo
long....... managed to fit more in than a whole
week.........well, out of bed anyway.,
After rushing around on Friday...
I became quite ill, I think I told you that I never give in to
sickness...well... I am a liar. I came home at about six, had
done everything I needed to do and went to the gym.
Arrangements were for me to be picked
up a 7.30 for the ballet.... but I sat like a stunned mullet in front of
the computer trying to get enough energy for a shower...... failed
miserably and called it off. So I jumped in bed,
felt disgusting... got the teary's....
then everyone started ringing!!!!!!!
It is common knowledge that I do not
get sick, so offering chicken soup...... video night..... go to the
chemist for me.... take me to the doctor... give me a back rub
...BLA BLA BLA........
Pissed me off no end.... 
enough
to cure me to get up at 11 and shower and get myself off to the Blue
Heelers Party...... only took one drink to pick me up.
Absolutely crazy party... full on, I don't think there was a moment
without two drinks in my hand..(though I tried to take it easy) But
hell of a ball!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have no idea what time I got
home.... don't remember getting home..... Woke up at 11 and felt so
drunk I couldn't move my head.... my head felt full of
liquid...
So finally crawled out at 12.30 to
pick up my brother. I took him to meet the Crusty demons team at
Harley Heaven (i'm friends with the manager)....did
that.... then went down to Red Hill where I had booked horses for a beach
ride.......... brilliant... came back to Melbourne and
took him to galactic circus at the casino then laser games (nearly killed me
running around and laughing like a lunatic)..... went to a gorgeous
little Balinese restaurant for dinner. Then he wanted to go to his
friends for the night, so dropped him off at about 9.. came home
and collapsed..... got a second wind after
sitting for a while.... So thought what the hell, go out..
so got to PJs
at 11.15, forgot my flexi card so went home to get it and
went back in......... Yet another massive evening....sure my drinks
are being spiked!!!!!!! (my excuse anyway)
Then went to the spy lounge with a
few people... hate it there so I must have just come home..... ??
A friend called me on way home so
decided to watch a DVDs and polished off a bottle of port......have no idea
what time I slept.
Sunday I was surprisingly energetic,
picked up my brother and met my sister and nieces at RugRats
retreat..(Which is like a kids indoor wonderland with climbing frames and
twisty slides) had to accompany the little one down all the scary slides
and had a ball in the process (better than a gym workout) love
those places... !!!!!!!
Then ventured resentfully up to
mums...... filled my car with as much as I could
(yes...remembered the whip!!!).....talked some rubbish and bolted as soon as I
could, went to the local pub and caught up with a few old school
friends...(but didn't drink) they were going to Melb
to see a movie at Gold Class, so...went with them...... came
home and collapsed.
Died at 12 last night, so
sick..... didn't feel like a hang over.. but extremely woozy,,,
took all my effort to keep anything down and had the worst sleep....
fever and tossed continuously.
I feel ok this morning though,
suppose it was the first moment I had stayed still long enough for it to hit
me.
Nice nick name Scott, where the
hell d'you pull that from???
Have a AAEI meeting today (just a lot
of bitching and carrying on)
So you did receive my email on
Friday.........??? Forgot to leave a sandwich in the letter
box............
You won't know yourself this week.... totally detoxed
........
CIAO
Tamika
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: buddies%AUSTDEFENCE@drnln.defence.gov.au; Tammmid@myplace.net.au
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Words women use
-----------------------------------------
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Words women use
....................fine
then.......go ahead....please
do
decipher.....goodluck
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Words women use
I don't need to decipher nuffin girly.....I worked the female species out
years ago....I figure it better to keep a safe distance, than to let them
get into my head. They can really fuck with you're mind...Nasty little
critters..
Love Scott "I'm perfect" Kellam
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
JLO,
There is no need to protect my innocent mind.. I can take it, trust
me... I am a very trustworthy lad, believe it or not.. Sounds like you had
a great weekend, very impressive for someone on their death bed not an hour
or so earlier... I wish I was you're brother, then you could take me
horse back riding on the beach, meet the crusty demons, and run amok at the
galactic circus....We'd just have to turn a blind eye to the naughty
parts..
Never understood the girly, teary thing.. Just felt like a good old
fashioned sob hey.... We blokes just bottle it up, get drunk, and punch
things, doesn't that sound like much more fun..Not that I'd punch you my
dearest, you'd probably open up one of those whooparse cans on
me.........mmmmm the mind boggles..
"The Whip", is that what you call them..I pictured it to be something
more like a 12" phallic symbol of some sort...But, if that's your thing,
who am I to argue... You must introduce me to it sometime, we could form
some sort of alliance..
No emails last night..not another night on the tiles I hope...I look
forward to opening up in the mornings (dictionary by my side) and reading
the events of you're last 24 hours.. I was flat out chasing my tail
yesterday, (ever have that feeling)...Achieved diddly squat for a lot of
effort..Didn't get up to much last night, had a craving for roast veges and
gravy, so I indulged, with a couple of bits of crumbed fish also.. Pretty
weird combo, but tasted lovely..Watched a movie I had taped a while ago
then went to bed.. Us old fellas need our beauty sleep.. I need to save my
beer tickets, so probably won't be up to much all week.. I think we've got
our trivia night on Wednesday, that's about it..
Well young lady, have a lovely day, don't get up to too much mischief
Scotty "Arse Bandit" Kellam
PS: Dropped around on Friday arvo, alas, you weren't home... Not
even a lunchbox sandwich like you promised...
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Fwd: the full story
Tam,
Very interesting reading.. Tanyia took it upon herself to forward
what is rightfully mine to me.. My, we do have an imagination, don't we.
Somehow, I don't think I'll be able to match that one..I new, eventually,
I'd get a read of one of those famous stories..
Some inspiration for tonight
Scotty
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
Morning,
When I arrived home yesterday and turned on my computer,
felt as though I had put my head in a bees nest!!!!!!!!!!!! Some
pretty unimpressive emails...... I thought it best interest of
everyone if I not respond with my thoughts at that time.....chose not to deal
with them.........just shut the pc down!!!!!!!!!...........
Arse bandit..???? you are a concern……… I’d rather not hear of your bi sexual tendancies…. Always
a preference to stay at Jon’s…for a reason obviously!!!!
This morning was just a bit of a
rush.... apologies...
Had a lovely day actually, the AAEI meeting
turned out quite enjoyable.... I stayed back with Millan (owner of the Board room) and Peter (Top of
the town )for a bottle or two of wine and a chat.....
then got my car and went for dinner in lygon
street. Very relaxing.
When I got home....(after ignoring the computer ) I went
downstairs and worked on my desk. My brother did not finish it and so I
am trying to come up with some brilliant ideas to complete. When I came
back up I just poured myself into editing.... getting more and more
complex. ...then cooked a chicken
Today I was supposed to be having my apptitude
tests for RAAF.... but I had a hospital appointment and not feeling
prepared (it was not supposed to be until July and was sprung on me last
Friday)....so have moved it to 26th may. Met up with Millan to go
over a few issues to the gym for a personal training session..... a
laugh and a half!!!! Quite fun actually.... Was quite full of energy
after three hours. BUT!!!!! On my way through the city my car
started to sputter..... stuck in traffic and in desperate need of
a petrol station...... died a couple of times but then started for a
final burst...... it was so frustrating.. unable to move and
knowing that any moment would be the last drop...... got a little
excited as I neared Spencer st.... but
that was it.... had to push it the rest of the way down Collins and
around the corner. Jogged up to the station to get a
cab.... he was so rude because of only being a short trip
I told him to go to hell and let me out......
not in the mood for crap.... so I jogged to the next petrol station which
was about three blocks after Lonsdale..... they didn't have jerry
cans.... so ran to the next one which was another four
blocks...... at least the attendant gave me some sympathy...
made it a little easier... then ran back to where the tram
line started, jumped on the tram... and it just sat
there.... another went past but the driver wouldn't let me off to catch
it.... eventually got jack of just sitting so decided it would
be quicker to jog.... so got off and ran the rest of the way...
Absolutely buggered!!!!! too much for me, 3 hours in gym ,
push the car cause no arsehole stopped to help, and
running all that way.... couldn't believe I survived the whole
incident!!!
I lost two kilos over the weekend.... think I may have
burned another six!!!!! at least a reward!!!
The teary thing...... very unusual for me.... I
never cry...... most probably because I was not out, pretty heart
breaking stuff!!!!... Yes I tend to find a punching bag or supplement
usually too, but didn't have the energy. Pure frustration
I'll skip your next paragraph.......... to be
discovered.... maybe...
Tanyia was the one to cop the "whooparse can" naughty girl.......
....... I must have copied the rough draft
though..... a lot of mistakes... and no final
touches... that was actually my first ever along those
lines... its all about progression... a little different these
days... ?? Maybe one should (or has) be written to your specification..
Shut up Tam....digging yourself a hole!!!!
best keep my mouth closed on that for the moment...
Inspiration.... you mean that it is a daily
event???? Thats a bit
sad!!!!!!! .......actually Kellam, that's such a waste!!!!
... I'll do my best not to cry myself to sleep tonight!!!
So you have backed down on your "Getting too old for
this shit.. Will refrain from these midweek swarays
from this day forward" oath!!!?? Well, good for
you!!!! Trivia nights are alot of fun,
and quite educational (like how to use your head when intoxicated)...oops...
double meaning there I think.
hmmmmm, does that mean
you are intelligent? ?.....
lol... At the same place as last week?
So, you'd like to be treated as my little brother
huh??? now that could be difficult....!!!! But it was a
fantastic day if I could treat you as you.... book me in as your
guide... could prove quite interesting ....I've
been complimented on my organizing abilities and ideas many
times.... might even drop the fee if you behave yourself!!
....oh , that was you on the phone....... so I'll
expect an invitation to one of these trivia nights.
now I'm stuck on what else I was going to write..... hmmmm, must of been those few comments that
flew over your head coming back to get revenge on me.
....so your think your hero material??? change the
name....?? I've yet to see, have to think about that one mister. (can't
work out wether its one of those silly girly
things......a comment to bite you on the bum!!!)
Right, enough verbal attention for you .......
Ciao
(do
you receive any of the emoticons ( pictures) I include?)
"Tamika Dalgleish" <Tammmid@myplace.net.au
on
To: "Scott" <scott.kellam@defence.gov.au
cc:
Subject: ??
........ in one hell of a mood....... didn't sleep at all last night,
#@*& ..... Bit of a dilemma ...flat batteries did not help the
situation. (Embedded image moved to file: pic02193.gif)...
Maybe its best you not ring before bed
.................................. send me a better mood.
In need of some new furniture..... may have to go to Ikea.... what do
you think??????(ikeachair.gif)
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-?? (Clean - Virus Free)
Looks pretty good.. Not as comfy as my lounge..Maybe a touch more versatile
though.. Mind you,looking at them, I think we could achieve all of those
moves with a bit of effort..
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
Subject: slack
Had a lovely evening, spur of the moment
decision..... went for dinner at
How was your night,..... did you win, learn anything
new?? .....Have a fuzzy head this morning? or did you behave
yourself.
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Morning
Can't reply with nothing to reply to....not telling porky pies are we...Bit
of a fuzzy head, a lot better than last wek though..will be having an early
one tonight though..We didn't go very well last night, started out
beautifully then fell in a heap when it mattered most..drank plenty of
beers and a few jim beams to make me feel not so dumb...Got home just after
genius at work...actually I fell asleep, but the first excuse sounds
better..
Romantic, evening cruises, my word you do it hard young lady.
Be good.......have some work today, believe it or not, will talk
later.
Scotty "the power drill" kellam
tammmid on
Please respond to tammmid@myplace.net.au
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: RE: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Morning
PORKY PIES?????????????? yes I know what it means but don't know what you
are refering to......?????.........hope you are not being cheeky....(or a total
ass)
Would not exactly describe it as romantic..far from actually....... more
like, ummm, well...ummmm.... need for inspiration, a friend that could
see I needed it, in a completely platonic sense. Barely even talked let
alone anything physical... just hung my feet over the edge with note book
and pen......Yes, suppose I am lucky, have a lot of "well off" friends who
appreciate leisure. ?Though James is a bit of a try hard
Got used to the high life when I was a "business woman" just part of the
package. ......don't know that I could actually ever live it completely
though.... just tastes is enough, appreciate it more.
I'm in the city at the moment at one of those crappy little cafes... just
went to market now going to gym.... walked to far and my feet hurt...
so stopped here for a coffee....
complete change of pace in writing last night.... you may be in for a bit
of a surprise.........
"power drill" where the hell do to abstract these names???????? DAG
Thought you might have called for "inspiration".....obviously your mind was
else where...........
CIAO....
Don't work to hard..... might break a nail or something!!!!
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Morning
And an impressive package it is too..
Tamika Dalgleish" <Tammmid@myplace.net.au
on
To: "Scott" <scott.kellam@defence.gov.au
cc:
Subject:
Where for art
thou?.........................................................now
concerned instead of embarrassed
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Dear Hope...
I was long gone, with about 5 bourbons down range when you wrote this
one my dear... If you want to see me move really fast, just get a look at
me friday afternoons...I start to get a liitle edgy..the thought of seeing
you just sends me into a spin...
How was the rest of you're weekend, was it as exciting without me?
Had a pretty good Saturday night.. Met Jon in the casino, and watched the
footy on the big screen.. May have had a drink or two.. Went to a pokie
lounge ( free bourbon and allowed to smoke - much better ) Jon had another
floozy in tow, not a bad girly, tends to talk a bit too much, and at a
hundred miles an hour.. She got pretty pissed actually.. can't hold her
licker...Come to think of it, so did we..
Went back to the turf bar for some more games of pool ( do you play
pool ?), where our new friend got shitfaced.. Pretty funny.. We got home to
Jon's about 1.30 I think, ate some junk food (MMMMMM) and crashed.. Let's
just say Jon had a smile on his face in the morning.... Was that you
ringing in the middle of the night? Jon wasn't game to answer it, cause of
all his other girlies...How was you're night..I gather you went to PJ's..
Got home yesterday, about 1.30 I think.. Did some domestic stuff and
veged on my lovely lounge.. Made Taco's for tea, they were sensational, and
watched the Jim Carrey movie on telly...He's a funny dude..Crashed and
burned after that....So, here I am... All excited over the prospect of
another week defending our country...
How's the head, hope you didn't have to explain yourself too many
times, fell down the stairs.......tripped over the dog.......bumped it
getting into the car....they all work nicely....remember, keep a straight
face, and look them in the eye, you'll be a pro ( no pun intended ) in no
time..
Anyway, pretty good effort, for a Monday, giving myself a big high
five.....will talk again, I'm sure
Seeya
Scotty " the head hunter" kellam
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Dear
Hope...
hate to see when you are not fast
then???????????????????????
“Will talk again I’m sure…….” Got to be something wrong with me because normally
I would be saying go to hell!!.
..came home after I dropped you off to "doll
up". Tanyia didn't want to go out so
I cooked some Thai and we sat here with a bottle of wine and conversed.
absolutely lovely actually, to just sit and chill, and be able to hear each
other.
She left about 10 and I went into Mens Gallery to visit Anthony for a bit. He was
extremely busy so went for a stroll then went to PJs..... waste of time.......
Ant finished at 3 and called me, so met him
at Bobbie McGee's.
came home at 6 and lay in bed like a
pancake. took a sleeper, didn't work, so
another.......and another ..... and so lay there stoned staring at
the roof.
Called Tanyia at 8
to make plans earlier. Were going to play tennis, but I have a
broken knuckle... apart from it being too windy, settled for half gym,
then went to South bank for lunch. came home and showered,
(again) met another friend at car and bike stunt show,
then went to see a movie at gold class, feet up served food and
drink..... elite.
Came home and worked out my computer
games, played for a while with eyes still stuck wide. Kev rang about 1.30 to meet at the casino, ummed and arrred, thought why
hell not, went to get changed then woke up to the stupidity of it,
so went to bed and stared at the roof some more.
Yes dear, can imagine the stories you are telling
of my head, and I have no doubts what so ever that I will be
advised shortly by dedicated try hards,
..... now that is something that WOULD make your head spin.
Actually could spice a few stories of my own.
and John was smiling huh...............? hmm
I did call Jon's mobile and left a message,
it was switched off, didn't ring, don't know the home number.
yesterday shopped for furniture, gym, jog, eat,
drink, try and sleep.
..... finished editing and that's
it..... wrapped and bound, meet with art director on Thursday to
hand it over....... finally. .
Like to see the name list improve quality,
have started a little collation myself........ doesn't seem to end, not
so complimentary.................................... a little more
pestilent.........schlocky.
CIAO
(the car is to check your attention…..oh yes…read
it AGAIN!!!!!.. geesh)
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Dear Hope...
Been to the trade show at the exhibition centre...Had a few beers on the
sly....Quite pissy... I'll send you a lovely story
tomorrow,...Concentration levels not so good...trying to dodge the boss
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
Subject: forgot to send last nght.........wander
what time it was!!!!!!!
soooooooooooooooooooo relaxed after my little spa discovery.....hmmmmmm, the mind boggles ..so much leg
room. don't know if it were that or the bedding I
received this morning that improved my mood............
Going to bed
now!!!! ta ta ogday
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Miss Dalgleish (Clean - Virus Free)
G'day beautiful,
Hope you're feeling better today..Here's a little something to
help... The 2 dogs with the
bone, and the kitten are classics..
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Miss Dalgleish (Clean - Virus Free)
apologies........ really was a
little on the "smartarse" side........ was referring to
new sheets though!!!!!!!
I did actually make it to bed
before 12, just. Wondrous thing about being ill is weight
loss!!, makes the suffering all worth while.
I was so hungry last night,
bought vegetables to make a pot of soup.... but had not the energy to
actually make it... just sat and wished I had bought cans
instead!!!!!!!
Tanyia is heavy on naturopathy. Just dropped off a
box full of weird and wonderful concoctions... have no idea what is
what.... but really don't care long as it works. Shes good like that, when I was last sick...
(op) she bought around so many supplies I think I still have some in the
cupboard.
Booked in for a massage this
afternoon, hopefully I have time to make it...... although the spa did
much good, feel like every muscle has been wrung out.
Got to get my but in gear...
busy day, at least the sun is shining, a little encouragement.....
Ciao
Tam
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Miss Dalgleish (Clean - Virus Free)
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, just thinking (now i am awake properly)I am a little concerned over your
health ........... greeting?????????? no egotistical
names ?????????? stupid little puppy kitten
emails??
should I call a therapist???!!!!!
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Miss Dalgleish
(Clean - Virus Free)
Don't be such a fuckin' pessimist.. I was being lovely...You know, like I
normally am...
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Miss Dalgleish (Clean - Virus Free)
uhhhh..swearin!!!!!!!!!!!
you are soooooo
nasty
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Miss Dalgleish
(Clean - Virus Free)
Maybe I am feeling a little off today.... Need a bit of a slap around to
straigten me out..You, with broken knuckle and all, would not be up to the
challenge, me thinking..
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Couldn't do it....
Sorry,
I just read it again, and decided that I'm not going to send it
on.....there are a few bits in there that are not for you're eyes.....just
protecting myself as well as you....get me really drunk and I might let it
slip...that's if I can remember any of it...Dumb country boy and
all...Deleted...Gone...Kaput....The end.....
Got another one this morning, this weird, infatuated fella, sends me
more emails than you do...already deleted that one as well..this one only a
couple of paras, said he was completely cut off...no emails, nothing. You
are not letting me in the whole picture here are you young lady...no
lies..another one of those embarrassing things, hah? I know I'm only a part
player in this little twisted web of love and betrayal but I don't
understand why you would stop sending him you're work, if you are only
using him as a sounding board for it's content...It's not as if you have to
face him...pictures everywhere, mobile phones, late night emails, I'm not
going to end up found dead in a gutter somewhere am I....I haven't got much
money, so you must be using me for my body ( I mean mind )..
Anyway, going to smoke some cigarettes, ( since you so blantantly
rubbed them in my face last night )and have a cuppa tea... I'll work you
out, it might take me a while, but, I have no doubt it will be very
exciting....I agree with freako boy -- you are one of a kind.....
This could backfire quiet badly, but I'm going out on a limb.....I'll
see you at PJ's tonight... I couldn't not at least buy you a few "cowboys"
for the finishing of you're untitled book with that pooncy (spelling )
Aaron in it.. Let's say around 11.00.....Give or take an hour...
Be good, talk soon
Scotty " betty boo" Kellam
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
Subject: Fw: Re:
SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Couldn't do it....
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, don't think you'll find me speechless
ever again......
gone all silly...
you're safe
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
Subject: Fw: Re:
SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Couldn't do it....
well, regained
composure. I'll answer what you want to know when I see you.
but hope you don't think I was lying when I said I didn't lie????? .
Got to go
Ciao
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
Dear miss 'aveachat,
Are you at home, I thought you're tests were at 9.30???
Had a great weekend.. Walking with a bit of a limp though..
xxxx
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
Got up at 7.30.
Now no bantering on my mouth............
I am absolutely kicking myself for telling way too much, will be
keeping myself well and truly aware in future........ won't breath a word
of truth!!!!!!
thighs are a tad bruised...... you have to
stop beating me!!!!!!!!!
Ciao
Tam
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
Good morning lovely
Thought an initiative email was a tad
over due, so I'm biting the bullet.
I trust you slept well, no snoring/coughing/doonahogging/chatting/overheating/rubbing/lack of
room/nudging/wanting to keep you awake.
Obviously I am wide awake at a
ridiculous hour ......again.
I may be normal one day,
......maybe......
Writing
like I'm taking dictation tonight, so easily, don't know
why........ is there a full moon? ...no .....well, no explanation then.
Didn't start till fairly late,
chatted a bit... studied a bit...quite interesting actually, and I
thought I knew it all!!!!!
Time got away fairly quickly and
didn't realize I was hungry, the old honey and cream on vita brits did the trick, very nutritional.
I tried to fix your towel rack with
super glue this morning, didn't seem to want to co-operate with me,
slippery little sucker, already had three fingers stuck together so
thought I'd best save the rest. That'll just have to learn you for
having a pissy little rack..... ( that's
my excuse and I'm sticking to it!!)
by the way,
bastante
tomado con su dulzor , verdaderamente
completamente sorprendido en
usted el lado suave, una sorpresa encantadora
en eso. Esté seguro no obtenerme enganché No un puerco
arrogante
Not much else to say really........
Forgot my fav
earring, had to buy a deputy pair....... at least did not
forget my head, well, sort of......
Behave yourself, no pea
shooting or rubber band flinging............ hmmm..ok
Ciao
Tamika
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- My latino
princess
What are you trying to do to me? How the hell am I expected to understand
that gibberish.. I could make out a few words.. Baste my penis in tomato,
something about compliment and arrogant..They were the only words that
looked even remotely English..
Crashed and burned last night, was asleep within 10 seconds after
getting off the phone.. Mind you, missed having your naked body next to
me..You don't get the sleep, but it definately keeps the juices flowing.
I have to get changed for work, I'm still sitting here in my footy
shorts and cardy..Talk to you soon..
Scotty
Tried to supaglue the towel rail yesterday as well.. Not a lot of
luck either..
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- My latino princess
Don't be concerned, it was
nothing you needed to know or interesting....... just that
difficulty in being "nice" issue.......... easier if
I know you won't understand. (there were no basted
tomatoes)
"Tamika Dalgleish" <Tammmid@myplace.net.au>
on
To: <Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au>
cc:
Subject: Re: SEC:
UNCLASSIFIED:-
and you only sent it to one
person ????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Embedded
image moved to file:
pic18061.gif)
encourages
saliva to wash food from the
teeth and lowers the level of
the acid that
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
With you my dear, It's
always good.. We're not going to get all
superstitious, are we? I
liked the little pictures. They were pretty cool
.
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
The pictures don't come through when you send them, on any
emails. "(Embedded
image moved to file: pic18061.gif) "
Yes, I am afraid I am superstitious........ not so
much I believe it will happen but sure as hell never take the risk
!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've had enough bad luck without encouragement!!
Just finished downloading the correct songs for the Hysteria
album to replace your "lost" one.......... room on the disk for
a couple more, any requests??
Lovely day.........hope my car co-operates!!!!!
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-PS
You've never told me... but you can whenever you get the urge..
. From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- self inflicted
not feeling the best dear.
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- self
inflicted
to say the least in more
ways than one
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- self inflicted
how many ways can one have a hangover..
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- self
inflicted
………. geeeeeshhhhhhhhhhhhhh
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
Got to the
lobby of the hotel for the after party and decided against.. maybe I'm
getting boring or old.., just didn't feel it was my place.
Don't feel
sick. I am going to have to find an emoticon for "over your
head" dopey!!!!!!!
Got to get
the car in, have a good day.
Ciao
xx
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-good morning (Clean - Virus Free)
What's the matter young lady.. You've been very short with me all day..
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- The difference
between men and women is?
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- The
difference between men and women is?
That could be a very interesting
concept!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so you up for it??.....well
it would be very funny anyway,.
hmmmmmmmm, 
worthwhile
if we based in on the right subject!!!!!!
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- The difference between men and
women is?
Since you are of the more literate variety, I will give you the honours.
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
Subject: Fw: 2002 hunks calendar
I have a
variety?????????? Well…. Bite me….
You are such a loser sometimes
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
Subject: Fw: 2002 hunks calendar
This is fairly
disgusting................ but I'm sure you will find it
funny, (while I go and throw up!!)
Well........ Mr Kellam....... left me in a very awkward
position this morning, I do believe I was almost agro for bit
there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oops!!!.... Got smokes as
soon as you left and stared at the roof a bit, then out the heating
on which knocked me out until 9.30 when I woke up fairly yucky......but needing
some frustration releif!! Took a while to get
it together and headed straight to the gym (it was either that or the
pub!!....(or put itchy powder in your bed as a lesson , but I was hoping to be
there again soon so thought the better of it!!)) and made up for my slack
effort during the week. Got there at 12 and pumped till 4...........
my calves didn't need much of a work out, they are fairly stiff.
Have a million and one
emails!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....... don't think I have ever gone this
long without checking.
Most definitely going out tonight,
a write off me thinks....... not feeling so
serene..... though that is probably going to magnify my
little dilemma....but....... at least I'll sleep.
Hope that this is a wasted email,
since you won't read it till Monday and I should be speaking to you before
then????????!.
Hope you have had a shithouse week
end due to lack of sex!!!!!
Ciao
One horny hanging out little girl
ps. hope you realised your hankercheif was filled with Jadore
and didn't inhale to much....didn't think of that at the time.
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-BEER DOES
STRANGE THINGS
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
Subject: Fw: Re:
SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-BEER DOES STRANGE THINGS (Clean - Virus Free)
hmmmmm 
does that work even better with bourbon?????????
-------Original
Message-------
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott
you know when my mouth hides
under the covers???????.....well..........my whole head is
buried, don't think I'm coming out of this one..............gee I get
soooo silly sometimes. may as well have died my
hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BLAME THE NAVY............ BuT HOME BY MYSELF
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
The difference between men and women is?
I just got an email with
nothing on it????????????????????????????? Are
you
feeling blonde today?
"
Tamika Dalgleish"
<Tammmid@myplace.net.au> on
To: <Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au>
Subject: Re: SEC:
UNCLASSIFIED:- The difference between men and women
is?
no........ obviously you
are? Dufus
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- The difference
between men and women is?
I prefer to feel brunettes
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- The
difference between men and women is?
touche
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-FW: Mens
Biological Clock (Clean - Virus Free)
You say very little, but still I am confused.. Sorry, Was trying to be
humerous..
What I was trying to say was, that type of routine with you over an entire
dirty weekend would be right up my alley.. What do you think..
Scotty "BIG BOY" Kellam
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-FW: Mens Biological Clock (Clean - Virus Free)
Scott "YOU WISH" Kellam
.......a poor effort at sucking up I would say.!!!!
I'll buy it this time though
(if you promise to keep it quiet!!!!)
So shall I say 6, cook
you dinner, have sex, open a bottle of wine, have sex, make desert,
have sex.......skip the damned sleep part, another wine, have sex a few
more times.......
before your time runs out????!!!!! ............................................two
weekends is too far away.
Tamika "speak to the hand" Dalgleish
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: Tamika Dalgleish
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
You are a shocker.. I have just got back from morning tea and bickies. .And
you've got the shits with me already..We males just can't win.. I opened up
this email and thought, what the!. Then I opened you're other one, and all
was revealed. I've told you already that you can come and stay with me any
time you like, (especially if you are going to cook me tea). Not fussed on
too many wines tonight, I do have two opened bottles at home which we could
polish off. The sex part I think I can accommodate.. One proviso, must watch
Friends. My favorite show..
See you at 6.00..xxxxxxxx
From: Tamika Dalgleish
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
was
just writing another email.....just about to push the send
button.. soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
glad i didn't ..........................you know how
I hate being nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
would've really had to hide my head for a while.... way too
flattering for the likes of you..... you would have been walking
around with your head enflated for ages!!!!!!!!
phew................................ that was a close
one!!!!
From: tammmid@myplace.net.au
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: shit, this is a worry
This is so difficult without my pretty colours and fonts, not to mention
smileys!!
but I find this email a little scary...........
(my comments are added in brackets.)
I do not expect any smart arse comments back. I have said most of them of
myself!!
Robert <manning45@yahoo.com>
To :
Tamika
Subject :
20 clues a woman should call it a night, Tamika
Hi Tamika,
Ever been in this situation?
20 Clues a Woman Should Call It a Night ......
20. You have absolutely no idea where your purse is. (or handbag, phone,
carkeys, makeup or brain)
19. You believe that dancing with your arms overhead and wiggling
your butt while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move
around. (or singing over the
phone)
18. You've suddenly decided you want to kick someone's ass and
honestly believe you could do it too.
(look out!! no comment, stay away from that one lol!!)
17. In your last trip to "pee" you realize you now look more like
Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours
ago. (wasn't I
in the mens
looking for you?)
16 . You drop your
you're eating even though you're not the least bit hungry), pick it
up and carry on eating it. (
don't think there was oral involved in the
carpark??)
15. You start crying and telling everyone you see that you love
them sooooo much. (yeah right!!!!!never)
14. There are less than three hours before you are due to start
work. (always working it)
13. You've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next
to you. (oooooh,
like that , great opportunity for a go at you, but
I'll save your sensitivity
today!!)
12. The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.
11 . The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and
sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming. (think that was you with that
idea)
10. Your eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so
you keep them half closed and think it looks exotically
sexy. My eyes are always sexy…or ..,…..
9. You've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good
at it. (this
could mean in bed)
8. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving
you just lemonade, but that's just because you can no longer taste
the gin.
7. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like
the kitchen floor. (or the tiles
on the elevator floor)
6. You start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this
the
5. You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit
on it.
4. Your hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves. (not rough am I?)
3. You're tired so you just sit on the
floor (wherever you happen
to be standing) . (that rail was
fairly comfortable)
2. You begin leaving the buttons open on your button fly pants to
cut down on the time you're in the bathroom away from your drink.
And the number one clue a woman should call it a night:
1. You take your shoes off because you believe it's their fault
that you're having problems walking straight. (ALWAYS….but most often after a night with YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!))
tammmid on
Please respond to tammmid@myplace.net.au
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
cc:
Subject:
Got to go to gym.........
I take it "ahhhh....yeah" meant "I'd rather chill by myself" but not
wanting to hurt my feelings, SPIT IT OU AND don’t be such a girl
But then again, you don't strike me as the typical male and pretty much
say what you mean.....
hmmm, now i'm confusing myself.... either way, no stress.no problem…no loss…..I’m not the silly, sooky type…. Plenty to occupy me.
just thinking what a very very long week it is going to be............. get it?
left a note on the bench any way
ciao
Tam
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
No excuses, not good at this stuff, just don't want to be in each
others pockets every day..I'm sure you'll agree with me.. Not going to talk
about this over the email. It gives me the heebeegeebees.
Going shopping tonight, (need toothpaste).
Tea was beautiful last night, and so were you.
Talk later
Scotty
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"AAiyliah" <Tammmid@myplace.net.au>
on
To: "Scott" <scott.kellam@defence.gov.au>
cc:
Subject:
Gee, its cold..........(Embedded image moved to file: pic30646.gif)
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
To: AAiyliah
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Warming up...
What is AAiyliah???? I danced around the subject (yes I know) of offering
to warm you up, but you seemed hell bent on ignoring my sleazebag
attempts..
The mighty Blues had a win last night, didn't get to bed until just
before
like you, and tossed and turned for hours.. Already looking forward to
getting home this arvo.. "twill be an early one tonight.. Thought about
giving you a call, but that would have blown any chance of beauty sleep out
the window..
You show me yours and I'll show you mine.. (email that is of
course)..You said you'd stop teasing me..
Seeya
xxxxxxxxx@@@@
From: Nephthys
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Warming
up...
High Hopes
dearest!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't think I even want to see what the
"lost his cookies monster" had to
write.......... When will it sink into your skull
that a decision is a decision with me, I don't know vacillation. I
don't tease, you have the opportunity to read it and I told you so quite
clearly.
Oh, I didn't notice you were
dancing around a subject again
Oblivious
you'll
have to clarify in future..... you know how dumb I am
....but I think you know I was
resolute for last night.....
something about being a beck and call girl erks
me, (there's anther word to go there but it may incriminate me!!)
... no punt intended.
There is no possible way that perfume
can last that long, ,
lovely attempt at buttering, but .......
Now how can I ruin your beauty
sleep,......... I don't remember a time that you haven't looked
appealingly delectable, I am afraid you are lascivious naturally
Sunshine.
From: Tamika
Date:
To: Scott
Subject: Fw: Re:
SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Warming up...
Goodness
gracious ....was I talking in gibberish tonight or what!!!!! that
is what happens to me when I don't stop all day, the adrenalin goes to my
head..... but at least I have comfort in knowing you
talk way more shit than I
do!!!!!
I'm still cold though...........
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date:
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Where are all my love letters?
Dear spunky,
Got to work thinking there would be a line up of emails for me to
read, but alas, not one measly scratching.. I understand, no really I do...
You must have got in a zone writing me an extra large story!!
Lovely sleep last night, couldn't get out of bed this morning though,
I was driving, so I pushed snooze an extra time, mind you, was still in
here by 7.00. You are no doubt still dead to the world, half you're luck,
we'll do that tomorrow morning, so don't sleep in too much.
Just read through the last email Mr Spinks sent me.. He is either a
very smart cookie, or a bit fucked in the head.. I get the feeling he may
be a bit of both.. He does have a fair idea on how you tick though, I wish
my dumb arse could grasp some of the stuff that comes out of that mind.
You do have one thing wrong though, and I suspect that this may have
been written in (I won't call it anger) frustration, after our little spat
over the weekend, I do "give a shit about you", I just have a few issues
that I sometimes fight with.. It has been my downfall on more than one
occasion.. I'm sure you've already worked that out though, you probably
know how I tick better than I do myself.
. Very impressive! In more ways than one.
Well beautiful, I'm going to work, will see you later.. Be good.
Scotty xxxxxxxx
From: Tamika
Date:
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Where are
all my love letters?
Wrong wrong wrong
and wrong again............. I resent all of the emails from
yesterday, sent two this morning (yes when I managed to open my
eyes....3.30amer) He is not a smart cookie, and you are not a dumb arse..... the only email I sent him
was two sundays ago so again WRONG ,
I have probably just really screwed up, sent Jon an
email to ask him to tell you I'm not getting through ......
hope you don't cop too much flack.
Very impressive?????????????????? huh?
And since you probably won't get this, good
opportunity to be a suck without having to be too concerned...... a
nice letter....... off the top of my head and then I'm going to duck or
hide under the blanket....
To see you when I wake up
is a three-fold, utopian dream.
i don't understand and I cannot elaborate
but......................................
You do something to me
that I can´t
explain.
so would I be out of line if i said,
I miss you (?)
I see your picture
I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine
You have only been gone ten days,
but already I´m wasting away.
I know I´ll see you again
whether far or soon.
But despite my dubiety
I need you to know that I care
And I miss you
From: Tamika
Date: Friday, 13 June 2003
To: Scott
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just lost every bit of respect I had left for
myself............................ you were just teasing out
weren't
you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RIGHT>>>>>>>> I hate you
now!!! Go and suck eggs
give
me ten blankets and I'm not coming out from under
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date: Friday, 13 June 2003
To: Tamika
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Where are all my love letters?
They must be going via the north pole.. They seem to be taking for eva to
get to me..
You don't hate me! Do you? I might start calling you egg from now
on..
From: Tamika
Date: Friday, 13 June 2003
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Where are
all my love letters?
You won't get this....... be off
boozing already while I slave away cleaning the house
but of course I hate you!!!
So I am expecting you to come and
drag me by the arm (notice...arm..not
hair) from PJs when you are ready to go
home....... if in the case that this does not
happen..... when you read it on Monday you will know why I have
hidden all weekend.....
had something nice to say but it
slipped my mind...... bugger hey
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date: Tuesday, 24 June 2003
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
So, what time did you get to sleep.. I was snoring ( not as loud as you
though ) within 20 seconds of hanging up the phone. I imagine you soldiered
on into the night, writing me an email or two, but no, alas, twas not to
be.
Haven't got a very exciting day at work planned, the usual at this
stage, but am having a late start tomorrow to give Dowdy a hand with his
pickups before he heads back to Sydney.. Should be different, not even any
scope for a sleep in.
The offer is still on the table for tomorrow night.. Haven't heard
about tonight, will let you know when I do.. ( stop rolling you're eyes).
Jeff and I are going up the pub for the trivia night, ( have a $30 voucher
for a couple of freebies) haven't booked in, but should be able to get a
game.. The State of Origin starts at 10.30, so, if you would like to have
me on the couch with a 12" erection for a few hours, you are more than
welcome..
If, my plans all fall to the dogs ( what are the chances ), the
movies on Thursday night sounds good.. The only problem being that it is
the opening night for Charlies angels or the hulk. One of them??
Well, try not to have too strenuous a day, and I'll let you know
what's happening later
See ya
Scotty "trench digger" Kellam
"Tamika" <Tammmid@myplace.net.au> on 24/06/2003 10:54:31
To: "Scott" <scott.kellam@defence.gov.au>
cc:
Subject:
WOW!!!!!!..... that was pretty damned brave.........(Embedded image moved
to file: pic13012.gif)!!!! really, I am, the temptation was too much
for me......(Embedded image moved to file: pic03421.gif)... and I don't
feel so much like a goose any more.
I went to bed at about 3.30am this morning........... wide eyed, got
really stuck into a few things and just couldn't stop......... it was
nice too, hence had to relieve myself with some cruel intentions.
...Actually, I've had second thoughts............. can I take it back
now, I feel really guilty???????!!!!(Embedded image moved to file:
pic08944.gif).... ooooh,, really really bad......... I am sorry.
Where's my golden email retriever!!!!!!!!??(
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date: Tuesday, 24 June 2003
To: Tamika
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
I don't know if you are talking about me or you or the
rose on you're verandah. Maybe, I should keep the emails I send to you so I
can go back and cross examine..Sorry, dozens of jet aeroplanes have just
flown past.
Dowdy's phone flirting girl turned out to be a bit of a shocker, so,
looks like it will just be a us 3 plus Wes, and maybe another fella that
lives way down South..
Hooroo
xsxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date: Tuesday, 24 June 2003
To: Tamika
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-this was too
good to not send......DEAL WITH IT
I'm glad that has made
you're day.. You are an extremely talented woman I
must say.. A bit of sucking,
but mostly just impressed.. Am I that bad. I
don't think I'm really worth
all that grief..
XXXX
From: Tamika
Date: Tuesday, 24 June 2003
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-this was too
good to not send......DEAL WITH IT
............. sucking, ???
...talking about the second email??????or you or
what??? well, I'm not to good at being nasty either,
really have to push against the grain. In this case it back fired and it has
not made my day. just a 5 minute quip that popped into my head.
It sounded good at the time,
but.......shit, you know as well as I do some thing that seems good at
the time can all of a sudden slap you in the face as completely wrong.
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date: Tuesday, 24 June 2003
To: Tamika
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Fw: What's your birthday position? (Clean - Virus Free)
Doggy style - I sit up and
beg for it.. You roll over and play dead. I give
you a good licking.
-------Original
Message-------
From: Tamika
Date: Tuesday, 24 June 2003
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Fw: What's your birthday position? (Clean - Virus Free)
lovely..........................................you
have so much class......
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date: Wednesday, 25 June 2003
To: Tamika
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Fw: What's your birthday position? (Clean - Virus Free)
I thought that is why you
think I'm a good catch.
Good looks + Class = Scotty Kellam
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
From: Tamika
Date: Wednesday, 25 June 2003
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Fw: What's your birthday position? (Clean - Virus Free)
Yep, all charm
... UNBELIEVABLE!!! Geeshhhhhh, why do I do this to myself
Have you decided what I'm wearing tonight?????
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date: Wednesday, 25 June 2003
To: Tamika
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Fw: What's your birthday position? (Clean -
Virus Free)
You can wear anything you like young lady..A little mini skirt and no bra
always does it for me..
We are heading to the pub around 7.00. I'll be home about 5.00, or Dowdy
will be home earlier, if you want to meet him before I get home. He will
fill you in on how much of a stand up good guy that I really am..
Probably have something to eat when we are there..Maybe a couple of
cordials..
Brace yourself?
From: Tamika
Date: Wednesday, 25 June 2003
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Fw: What's your birthday position? (Clean - Virus Free)
hmmmmmm,
anything I like……….. but the green number is out.............. ??!!
................Sure you will be able
to cope, its alot to deal with........
you know, being in public and all.......
Sorry, misunderstood
that, didn't you mean a "good stand up guy"????
.... yes, I trust he knows you well too......
Unsure of what time I will get over
there but it will most probably be (actuallycertainly)
be after 5. I have an appointment today and gym, ...... and you
know how long it takes for me to get
ready!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... better
control the nerves or I'll be going on 11!!!!!!!!!
My freezer is getting too small so
will be filling yours with chilli con
carne..........
I am sure you are thinking the beauty
of this idea has gone out the window 
......
no longer such a pleasant thing having me sitting silent in front of you,
poking me in the back.
Have you prepared the gaffe tape???........I
am sure you have already thought of that.
From: Tamika
Date: Thursday, 26 June 2003
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Movies
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date: Thursday, 26 June 2003
To: Tamika
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Movies
THAT'S JUST DOWN RIGHT IMMATURE... I wish i could do those little
pictures.. You'd be in big trouble..
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date: Friday, 27 June 2003
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Admission..
I just went it MY website..To have a peek.. I know you will find out, so,
thought I'd get in before you.. Only spent ten seconds, the pressure was
too much..Maybe when there aren't so many other eyes around..
xxxxxxxxxx
tamicca on 27/06/2003 11:27:03
Please respond to tamicca@iprimus.com.au
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
cc:
Subject: RE: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Admission..
......CHEEKY!!!!!!! I was actually thinking last night that I had
forgotten to close it........ bugger.......
Well.... what can I say, just don't!!!!..... you can't deal with that
stuff...!!!!!!!!!!!!!
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date: Fri, 27 Jun 2003 10:22:54 +1100
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-FW: (Clean - Virus Free)
Especially in the last week
-(See attached file: what a man sees.jpg)
tamicca on 27/06/2003 11:35:55
Please respond to tamicca@iprimus.com.au
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
cc:
Subject: RE: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-FW: (Clean - Virus Free)
and what pre tell is that supposed to mean........
(ie the last week)?
Mannnnn, are you in for it tonight (if you end up in my bed and not jon’s!!)
Preparing the chains.... maybe a blindfold.... maybe paint of some sort
(edible) ...hmmmmmm, the versatility of my bed makes the mind
boggle.........
*( little demon emoticon)
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date: Friday, 27 June 2003
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-FW: (Clean - Virus Free)
It means, I can handle looking at the website... But I have the feeling you
may need a blanket or two.. Wether I understand it is another matter..
You can chain me up and do whatever you like to me all weekend.. Have large
supply of baby oil at the ready.. Maybe work out a way to blunten those
teeth.. Will let you stew on that one, am closing down.. Will stagger into
you sometime later on tonight..
xxxxxxxxxxxx
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date: Tuesday, 1 July 2003
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Angel
Space skull hey, what are you trying to say..
Not myself lately. Have been in a strange mood, can't quite put my
finger on it.. However, I do enjoy putting my finger in ( I mean on ) you..
Too late in the year to join another tipping comp, but was a nice thought..
Am not going real good in the ones I am already in, let alone another.
I've just been sitting here for the last 10 minutes trying to think
of something appropriate to write. But, alas, mind has a blank.. Must be
writers block..
OR I’M JUST SCREWING UP TOO MUCH.
Too hard today, I'll call you tonight
XXXXXXXX
From: Tamika
Date: Tuesday, 1 July 2003
To: Scott
another miss ...is your email box full?
From: Tamika
Date: Tuesday, 1 July 2003 2.35:47 AM
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Piss weak
My goodness I am
tired...........got stuck again, going to bed to dream....... (of van
dam!!)
thought best I put in a good
word before I go to bed..... save your sensitivity in the
morning.........
You sounded absolutely exhausted,
poor baby.!! ()
Bought you a shirt
today, thought it may save you the stress of the big "shopping
expedition " again..... but again, you don't have to like
it.
Sorry if I sounded
condescending over the web sight...... just a little fear I
guess....... didn't mean to infer that you were stupid or
illiterate... just worry about sucky things I
write sometimes,... I don't speak the same way ... bla bla bla...
I'm dribbling.. just felt sorry when I heard how tired you were...
Good morning
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date: Tuesday, 1 July 2003
To: Tamika
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
Didn't get that one, might
have went down better than the one I opened
first this morning.. You have
a way of cheering me up…..make everything bad go away …
This is a little picture of a
smiley face winking at you.. : - ) cause I think you are lovely.
From: Tamika
Date: Tuesday, 1 July 2003
To: Scott
RE: Paul
Sorry,
just deleted after reading the first lines , I don't want any
outside influence....... especially not from a nutter.....
he should stay in the past where he belongs, it makes me ill.
I am fully aware of what I
want and need.... I am the only one who can fulfill
that, people don't rule or run each other....
it is not a
responsibility of yours... you just be you... that is why I am
here.
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date: Tuesday, 1 July 2003
To: Tamika
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
Delete, you? Miracles do
happen!
I am just being myself, seems
to bring out the best and the worst in me
though.
Will be here until you discard my sorry arse..
Apparently, that is what you
do.. Try to keep you eyes on my arse, that
might influence the
decision..
Scotty "fucked up" kellam
From: Tamika
Date: Wednesday, 2 July 2003
To: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
I could stand there
watching the sea
thinking how beautiful
it all would be
if it stayed calm and blue
as it was
bringing me thoughts of you
and how your restless spirit
turns from sparkling green
to leaden grey
and I understand
I must endure the night
to truly know loveliness
of the light
"
From: Tamika
Date: Friday, 4 July 2003
To: Andrew.Harvey@defence.gov.au
Cc: Scott
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Alphabet
Kellam
Well pleased to meet you
Andrew,..... sorry to spoil your little suspicion (I am
sure it will be easy enough to find something else to harass him about...
may spill some gritties in the future)
But from an experienced point of
view, can confidently vouch for Scott's sexuality.... not a
doubt about it ...(if you can learn to ignore the stance and....!!)
This was actually a fun
exercise......... despite the head swell at Vic Barracks right now....
Enjoy your weekend and don't do
anything Scott wouldn't do...(or would!!!!???)
Recreated version of Alphabet Kellam:
A is for arse
man, none firmer!!!!!! Aptitude
B is
for ..........BIG blessed bone......... bonus options.......
.C..is for cunnilingus which
he is best at.....come hither.... can't resist..... cacoethes....calliandrus and again calliphygian,
coitolimia...can't get enough
(obviously I like c's
good luck with the dictionary boys)
D is
for .....delinolagnia......damned good
E is
for ...Endowed with an exellent body, ability
and shlong
euphemisms...ecdysia.....expert
in extracurricular activities
F is
for F#*%ing Fantastic
F#*%..........Flagpole
G is for ......G
spot getter... the only man to find it!!! Good Gracious God for
that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ..........Getting
it on in grand places.
Genius...
H is
for ......... humongously hung......hands
of gold.......HIGHLY HETEROSEXUAL
...(but I'm the heroic one!!)
I is for................irresistible....incredible Ischiocavernosus muscle!!!!!!
Jis for
....................... jokum cloy....just
keep it there..... JESUS CHRIST!!!!!
K is for Kellam
makes me hot!!!!....Kama Satra....(bet
you didn't know about his secret expertise, sorry for letting that
"out of the closet" babe ) kielbasa
L is
for licking lingam.........listless
libido...lascivious lady lover...(you can keep the licking part there...
just different place.)
M is for
..........multifarious lover.....multi-orgasm.......Mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!
Nis
for not stopping now.....never leaving unsatisfied.... nature's
gifts.....
O
is for ...............Oh my god!!!!!!.................
P is for
... PPPPLease!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pedantic in pleasing a woman...penis envy everyone has of him
Q is for
.........quit now before I pass out......quickie-never!!
R is for Rated
R...Rock me!!
S is for Sensational Seargent Scott Sex-machine .........Spanish Sexpert
Tis
for TOO BIG!!!!!!!!!!!! Too much......tip the velvet
again......tumescence
(this is turning
me on)
Uis
for ultimate uck-fay...unmatched...unclad
V
is for vagitarian (please take note),....... voluptas veneris
W
is for want you now..... what when and where.......Whipped
cream????
Xis for X
rated,,...... XTC
Y
is for yentzer
Z is
for Zero homosexual encounters, Zo Zuck Zeggs Zandrew!!!!!!!!!!!.
Boy you owe me big
time....!!!!! I will be demanding compensation this week end......
From: Andrew.Harvey@defence.gov.au
Date: Friday, 4 July 2003
To: Tamika
Cc: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au;
Scott.Willson@defence.gov.au
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Alphabet Kellam
Hi there,
Nice to meet you too.
So how much did Scott pay you for this? You can't be anyone he would
possibly associate with as you seem far to intelligent ie: you use more
than single syllables. I don't know how long you have known Scott for but
this does not sound like the man us up here in the "boonies" know at all.
I think I might have to send you a photo to confirm whether the "Kellam"
you have obviously grown to love is indeed the man we have seen in the
shower.
I am actually a little embarrassed as I just quickly threw that together in
a couple of minutes. If I knew Scott was going to pay somebody with an IQ
exceeding his digit count to retort on his behalf I would have spent more
time.....time which I probably can't spare and time that obviously you
have a lot of down there at sunny DMO (I will be posted down end 04
hopefully!).
On a serious note, you sound lovely and obviously far too good a catch for
Scott so I f you ever up this way drop in for a red.
Give Scott a big lick for me and have a good weekend.
Scotty, I think we may get a little value out of this . Cheers mate!
From: Tamika
Date: Friday, 4 July 2003
To: Andrew.Harvey@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-Alphabet Kellam
,
Don't be concerned, I expect much "sucking up" this weekend, I'll get my own back one way or another!!!!!
He actually forwarded to me saying how much fun his mates
are, he would never have thought for a second I would
reply, and especially not in such a complimentary manner, (I have
difficulty with the complimenting thing!!trying
hard to get over it...)
Apologies for the comprehensive use of language, can't help myself, tend to get carried away knowing that very few will understand the meaning. A little unfair, but hey... us women have to use our dominant skills where ever we can!!!!...time wise, not long, just quick when it comes to words.
If you knew me you would know there is no need to be embarrassed..... I thought it was actually quite sagacious.... but have to the defend the boy when I can and I guess I'm the one for this area!!....(well had better be!!!)....... and can assure you I am far from butch!!!!!!
I have a few good stories up my sleeve for next time he plays
up!!!.... so shouldn't be too long before I 'm spilling the beans........
Ciao
Tamika
From: Tamika
Date: Friday, 4 July 2003
To: Scott
Subject: To put you a step ahead....
I think the rest are pretty self
explanatory...... just so that you are in the know,
(not to make your head any bigger) ....hmm, and I thought I'd get a nice
little personal note for it too!!........ or
at least some appreciation… maybe
you’re just saving it for tonight…. I
hope …you’d better
cacoethes= ancient greek, uncontrollable or insatiable desire or passion....
calliandrus= handsome male with an intriguing sex organ.
calliphygian = nice arse,
coitolimia=Sex drive, hunger for intercourse
ecdysia= Stripteasing, nude dancing ...( I know you'll do it one day!!)
jokum cloy = a man who enjoys a woman
tumescence = An
enormous swelling , erection of the sex organ during stimulation.
kielbasa = large penis
voluptas veneris = Latin for sexual pleasure,
yentzer = American for a male who
has sex frequently
From: Scott.Willson@defence.gov.au
Date: Friday, 4 July 2003
Cc: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au;
Andrew.Harvey@defence.gov.au
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
Houdy,
Well you don’t know who the hell i am but have known that big eared fuck
kellam for a lot of years now. I carnt get in my head what you wrote is
this the same man as we all know. One thing that you left out of the
alphabet or it may have been that i just didnt see it is B for big fucken
ears, F fucken huge honker. Where o where did you get this idea that he is
hung do you go to bed with a magnifying glass, girl he isnt that big not
like stallions (Willson and Harvey). The only thing big about him is he is
a big North Melbourne supporting fuck head ( Carey we love him).
Another couple of mistakes ( that i
hate to bring up) are H -- for
you legend, W -- for willson you rock my world.
Well as I am so busy at work that is about it, maybe I will meet you one
day. Seeya
Bear
From: Tamika
Date: Friday, 4 July 2003
To: Scott.Willson@defence.gov.au
Subject: Re: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:-
Evening Sir,
Now what is a lady to say in defense
of her man???!!!! The truth?????? ...
Not a doubt in my mind that you guys
have a lot more of an idea of the real Kellam........
but, hopefully, you are not able to view from my
perspective......
Big nose and big ears???..... I
don't think so.. never even taken notice of his ears... come to
think of it, does he have any??? ...that could explain a few screw
ups......
And the cute little crooked
nose, adds such character,...... how else would I recognize him in
a room full of gorgeous men (and off my face).. I'll call it a
distinguished nose....
..
the size thing, now this is
always a very delicate subject for a girl to comment on, ...
you know it could cause grievous bodily harm to say the incorrect thing in
this...ahem...area.
What I can safely say is that I do
not get much of a chance to have a squizz....
usually I am too far gone in euphoric ecstasy by the time his shorts are
off.... I am sure he does not use any implements strapped to himself
whilst I am in this state..... (and I am not blonde) so
am confident that regardless of measurement depth or width, he uses
it pretty damned well....!!!!!!!!
I'll leave the football part for you
to argue about... I could basically "give a shit"
You guys.....I have no idea what so
ever and don't intend on ever knowing you intimately, so I'll
just shut my little mouth. I do intend however to dig some
dirt over a few drinks one day.... I really need some BAD stories with
stability, things I cannot argue with.... It always
assists when I'm in giving shit mode...... especially if I
don't receive sufficient gratitude (reward!!) for my little
crusade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheers Big Ears....
Lovely to make your acquaintance
Tamika
BIG FUCK
UPS>>>>>>> NO
EMAILS
From: Scott.Kellam@defence.gov.au
Date: Thursday, 10 July 2003
Subject: SEC: UNCLASSIFIED:- Good girl ( I mean morning) xxx
Miss Lopez,
Thought I'd write you a good morning love story to brighten up your
day.. Didn't sound overly
enthused last night about anything in general..
Made me wonder, thought you'd
stoked.. Me don't think Tamika sometimes..
(come to think of it, most of
the time), but I do like to pry those deep
down thoughts of yours out
when you give me the chance.. I'm a "BIG" boy
now, you can burden me if it
will make you feel better.. But obviously it
doesn't, so I think I'll drop
that one now.. I'm babbling, aren't I?
Have you got any thoughts on the weekend. I would imagine that is a
big fat no, and I don't even
know why I asked, but I was hoping that we
could have a "non-pyjama" party at your place.. Don't know what is going
on
tomorrow night yet, but we
are knocking off at 2.00ish.. Have no set plans?
probably get drunk
somewhere.. Haven't had a real night out with Jon for
ages, though, I have this
feeling that you won't be far from my thoughts.
Do you think you could put up
with a hopelessly drunk, smelly, horny,
slightly balding, podgy bloke
early in the morning..
Anyway, must get to work.. The boss has just sat down, and sometimes
I feel guilty writing these
huge stories that I send to you all the time..
Might go and have a ciggy with Jon and then get into something rivetting,
like paperwork. woohoo..
Talk to you later
Scotty A big kiss for you.. Not on the mouth either.. teehee