Something about me
ABOUT ME
Since I prefer being at least somewhat anonymous, it's
quite hard to know how much about myself I can say,
so I can be sure I'm safe.
One could say that I'm from a quite so ordinary family,
with a quite so ordinary surroundings. I'm studying but
I've also been working somewhat and one could say I
enjoy life most of the time, eventhough one also could
say, it hasn't been easy.
When I say I enjoy life I have to continue by saying that
my life, as it is today is quite so comfortable and I can
therefor enjoy it, at least some. But it's been hard, I can't
say anything else but that, becouse it has.
I was sexually abused from early childhood. It sounds
a bit weird saying that because behind those few words
there's so much pain, agony and shame.
Yes I was sexually abused and during a period of time
even with ritual abuse as a part of it.
My first abuser was a man from the neighborhood
where I spent the summers, the second one was also
there, -as a relative of mine.
I've been raped several times, the last time early june,
still suffering from that.
Making a page like this one is hard. It's hard because
digs up the wounds that still isn't healed and while
working with this page I've found out it was even harder
than I thought.
somewhere
never expected
is the truth
floating on the ocean
drowning in your shoe or
just
walking around in the backyard
freezing one early sunday morning
hoping to get in to you to find the way home
to your life
to your feelings
powering you,
not killing
feeling you
not swollowing you
slowly
with gentle care
though
hard and brutal.
Like the storm a warm summereve
like a breece or a
cold nightmare
Like the sun eating the world
fighting the ones who doesn't wanna know
Fighting hard
Fighting you
I'm not going to tell you the whole part of my story
on this page, but if you want to know more about
what I've been through you may klick here for further
information about the abuse itself, that's very much
part of my life even today.
As you may understand even looking at this page I like
drawing and writing. Besides that I like travelling and
taking photos.
The thing is, I could be anyone, aswell as the abuser
of a child could be anyone walking towards you at the
street.
However I strongly believe that there's something called
survival, eventhough it sometimes feel impossible.
My life might have become something totally different
that what it is today, if just...
But it didn't.
The fact is still that I was sexually abused during
childhood and that this will affect the rest of my life.
This gives me the right to be angry with what
happened. Angry and sad.
And I am.
This is the only way for me to find my way over to the
other side, and God knows it's a struggle.
With love and understanding
(most of the time),
(E-mail:) Tanase
