I didn't have any problems at all during the day. I loved being able to totally relax and not have to chase Marie, because she was attached to my breast. However, it got harder at night, partly because I couldn't lie very comfortably while nursing (because of being pregnant--normally, I have no trouble nursing while in bed), and partly because I was starting to get terrified of the thought of two night-nurslings.
At about 4 or 5 months pregnancy (Marie was then 16 or 17 months), I started trying to cut back on night nursings. (Previously she'd been allowed to nurse as much as she wanted.) That didn't work at ALL--she couldn't understand why one time was okay and another wasn't. We decided it would be better for her to stop altogether (better than to be so confusing--I still think the best for her would have been continued unrestricted nursing, but I couldn't handle it), so at 18 months we started putting her in her own bed at night (nursing to sleep), with the explanation that she could come to our bed in the night, but no more nursing "until it's light outside". It worked much better than expected--there were tears a few times for a maybe four nights, but not a lot, and within a week she wasn't even asking to nurse at night. A month later, my husband started going to her and NOT bringing her to our bed anymore (until early morning), and that was also very successful. I was so much more relaxed with not having to nurse at night and knowing I wouldn't be nursing two at night, that I got even HAPPIER about day-time nursing.
I don't know if that really addressed how Marie felt--she was sad not to nurse at night, but accepted it, and by 18 months was saying "no num-nums night. Num-nums light outside!"
[from a mother of 11 children]
I have some very small gaps between my children..........under 1 year in four separate cases. This was the case between my first two. I found out I was pregnant with my second before my first turned 3 months old. It was a shock to me after hearing the tales from so many nursing moms of no periods or fertility for many months or even years. I was very panicked about losing my nursing relationship. The pregnancy seemed long and unnerving at times. I kept thinking my milk might be diminishing. It never did.
I worried a great deal and was pressured from all sides to discontinue nursing (except my mother and husband, bless them) so there were many antsy moments. I would sometimes burst into tears while nursing him. I was so unsure of so many things. The bigger I became the more iffy I felt about it all. Luckily I made it through.
My first was 10 months old when my second arrived. They nursed side by side for almost three more years. Since then, I have never felt nervous or antsy nursing through my pregnancies. I have nursed through all of my remaining pregnancies and tandemed 2 or more on the other side without problem.
No. The closest to this I felt was nipple soreness, because I was nursing two and being pregnant.
I had sore nipples as my first sign of pregnancy both times, before I even had a late period or confirmed it with a urine test.
In my second pregnancy, mostly because of this and also because of general first-trimester tiredness and those famous antsy feelings, I went back to using pacifiers with my toddler and when she wanted it, bottles. I regret this now.
She had been weaned off pacifiers and was nursing six times a day, but she started sucking on her "binky" more than she had nursed. This might have made my milk supply go down faster. She even forgot how to nurse after a few months. I now am nursing her twice a day -- more or less causes problems with engorgement -- but she still has that binky in her mouth nearly all day long. She even talks around it. I feel that to go back to nursing enough to once again wean her off the pacifier would be too much for me right now, especially since I have found it very difficult to try to nurse both of them at the same time. Maybe that could happen later, when the baby's nursing starts going down.
I don't know if this helps but I wish I had seen something like this a year ago. [mother of a 2¾ yr. old and 3 month old]
I often felt irritated by my older child nursing when I was pregnant because my nipples were very sore or he wiggled and hit into my belly. I also found that I had very little patience for anything as well as nursing.
I remember feeling like someone was running
their finger down a chalkboard. I would tell him he could nurse
for a short time and then I would ask him to stop when it was
killing.
If he was close to sleep, I would just grin and bear it.
Some of the things that helped to relieve the pain was repositioning his mouth or pulling him closer to the nipple. Other times I felt overjoyed and it didn't hurt. I would kiss his head and rub his hair. I think he understood what I was trying to tell him but he never said anything. In the beginning it was frustrating for him and one time when he was mad at me, he bit my nipple until he drew blood. That day I felt like weaning him but we got through it.
Yes. Like a crawling feeling. Similar to when someone is doing something to you for too long and you want them to stop but they won't. For example - playing with your hair, it's ok for about 5 mins, then you want them to stop but they won't. Or when a baby "nipple twiddles" - smaller babies nipple twiddling doesn't bother me, but as they get older, I get that same antsy feeling.
I tried to ignore them during the nursing session, until it got too much then I would ask him (2yrs old) to stop, or distract him or try a bribe ; ) I eventually noticed that if I thought about how gorgeous he was, how cute he looked nursing and how much I loved him I could forget the antsy feeling.
I did have some trouble feeling ansty, like my skin was just crawling and I had to get her to unlatch. But then I had had that before pregnancy and have had it since. I notice that if I examine my nipples when I am feeling this way, they tend to be very bluish or blanched white, a phenomenon called "Raynouds". It happens when the blood flow to the nipple (or other body part) constricts. Dr. Jack Newman's webpage has info on it. I found that if I just took a break, even for a few minutes, the sensation went away. BTW, I get the same sensation and changes sometimes when I pump milk too.
I dealt with the situation by telling my daughter that mama's mee-mees were tired and needed a break. She could hug or cuddle or play with me instead. She was surprisingly understanding. She'd ask questions, like "why?", etc, but seemed to express a lot of concern for me and was fine with it. (She was about 2 yo.)
Sitting itself is uncomfortable a lot of the time, sore nipples were a major problem early on. Once the milk was gone it seemed he wanted to nurse 24/7 and it was painful and bothersome. Contractions from nursing are a bit uncomfortable sometimes as is finding a good position.
Grin and bear it :) It was always SO worth it. I used the time to try and relax and we discovered ways to make nursing as comfortable as possible. Sometimes at night I asked him to stop nursing because it was sore or to change sides.
I think he does understand somewhat and he will be gentle but his main concern is having his needs met. He does do what he can to make it comfortable for me though by not sitting on my belly and by switching sides often. Sometimes when I asked he would stop. (only if it was really too much)
I would want to push her off of me and jump up off the chair I was sitting on.
I tried to always watch television to distract myself. I tried reading a book or magazine, but that didn't work at all. Often the TV didn't help. At that point I would sit with my head back and berathe deeply and remind myself of all the reasons I was nursing her. When nothing else worked I would tell my DD that nummies were over for now and she could have more later. She was very compliant most of the time.
I don't think she knew that I disliked nursing her during the pregnancy. She was *very* aware of the physical pain that I was feeling. At times I would cry because the pain was so intense. Even though she was young (2 1/2) she was very bright. I explained that *she* was not hurting me, there were hormones in my body that my breasts have owies. I did not tell her about the pregnancy until I was almost 6 months along. I did not want her to equate the pain in my breasts, and my milk drying up with the baby. I always just blamed "the hormones".
At times she would start to nurse and wouldn't even latch on and would say "all done". I would have to encourage her to nurse because she obviously felt responsible for the pain I was feeling. I tried to hide the pain from her, but it was too intense and impossible, so I felt being more direct with her was better. She was always very respectful of how/what I was feeling.
Sometimes it felt as if I was crawling out of my skin, other times I felt resentful of my nursling(s) demands on me, other times it was just physically uncomfortable and I would feel irritable towards my nursling(s), at the end I felt extreme anger although it was completely controllable and no threat to myself or my son.
With my first I knew I'd only heard of moms that didn't succeed and it was always because of these feelings, so I knew to expect them and I just accepted them as part of the package and I just got through it. I'm now 16 weeks pregnant and nursing both my 5yo and 3yo and I started much earlier with these feelings. I knew to expect them, but not this early so it was unsettling, but getting support from other tandem nursing moms really helped me and I feel better prepared to get through it. I have negotiated nursing times for them so that I can get in a routine and be better prepared to 'get through it' for them.
The first time my son wasn't even 2 yrs old yet and I didn't really talk to him, unfortunately I think he just sensed some of my feelings because his reaction was to ask to nurse more. I just cut back how long he could nurse instead of saying no. This time around I've been talking to my 3yo and 5yo and they seem to understand and respect that. It's working out fine so far.