YES! The gyn. thought it was weird, fostering dependence in Marie, and likely to compromise the health of the baby. (If 8 lbs. 3 oz. was a lower birthweight than Jacob would have had if I hadn't been nursing, I'm even MORE glad I was nursing!) My main response to her was "If you didn't know I was breastfeeding, would you think there's a problem?" and she had to admit there wasn't (with my weight gain and the baby's development.) I also pointed out to her that my mother nursed through pregnancy (four times!), and even doctors know they've lost the fight when the patient brings in Mom's opinion.
From other people, I mostly heard that
nursing Marie would make her jealous when the baby came, to which
I replied that weaning her DEFINITELY would make her jealous, and
how could letting her have the same thing as the baby do so?
It turned out most of them thought that "of course" I'd
be weaning when the baby came. Once they realized that wasn't my
intention, they said I wouldn't have enough milk, the baby would
suffer, I wouldn't get anything else done, etc. I got lots of
chances to explain the supply-and-demand principle of milk
production, and what else did I need to get done besides cuddling
my babies?
Yes. Questions about calcium, and how was I going to handle nursing two at a time (This with the second pregnacy, the third was what are you going to do with three at a time... ) Are you going to have enough milk? How can you nurse with no lap? And the most funny one IMHO, So you're going to feed the new one formula so the older one can keep nursing?
My best response was " I'm a good cow."
My mum nursed all four of us over a 7mo
period. We were all 22mo apart (twins then 11mo later a
singleton, then 11mo later another singleton
Over the years I have began telling people I trust my body. since it allowed me to become pregnant it must be capable of sustaining us all. I focus on my good eating and lifestyle habits. I share my experiences good and bad with them. Most people don't fully grasp tandem nursing unless they have done it or desired to do it, but if I am positive and honest I have found most people at least let the conversation die, since I am obviously more informed than they are.
Sometimes I crave to be understood. Most often I dont much care anymore about their opinions. I have tandemed too many times and nursed through too many pregnancies to see it as anything less than normal.
I received a lot (of criticism) when I was with family but never when I was at home around my friends. I flew to Calfornia to see my mother in my second trimester. Because we were away from home my son nursed all the time. My grandmother and mother kept on making comments that I was forcing him to nurse and not letting him eat enough food. My grandmother who nursed all her five children for 9 months was so bent out of shape by me continuing to nurse. I just never let them get to me. I am never afraid to tell people that I am nursing both, because what is the worst they can tell me? I don't set myself up to believe that people will think of me anymore then a freak of nature. I am usually surprised that more people understand or will hold their tongue because they have never heard of tandem nursing.
My GP advised me to wean. He gave me no reasons why I should, so I ignored him and he nor I ever mentioned it again.
When Matthew was born, I was asked by the midwife about birth control plans. I said I planned to rely on LAM for however long it was appropriate. She said something like 'of course if you get pregnant again you'll have to wean him'. I didn't really reply...should have though, it would have been a good opportunity!
I didn't get any remarks about nursing Matthew once I was pregnant with David, though ... I think everyone around here knows I'm stubborn & (by their standards) weird, so I guess they just bit their tongues.
Not really outright negative, but mostly surprised, ie: "you can do that?"
Not a thing. No positive comments either though :(
I got the typical "You CAN'T nurse through pregnancy!" or "Isn't that dangerous for the new baby?" I would just explain that nursing through pregnancy is completely safe, and YES the Dr and midwife *knew* I was nursing and they were totally supportive of it. I also explained that my body was designed to make babies and nurse them and that my body knew to provide first for the baby and then for the nursling and then for me. As long as I ate well, we were all provided for. I then tried to change the subject, which was usually successful.
If they persisted, I would say that it was working for my family and we were all happy with the situation.
If they persisted (and it usually turned away from nursing during pregancy and they would tell me my DD was too old to nurse at this point) I would explain that as long as she nursed she would receive immunities from me and since the human immune system wasn't fully developed until around age 5 or 6, I fully expected she would nurse that long. At that point they were so shocked that they couldn't say anything because their mouths were hanging open and the conversation was over (they couldn't get away fast enough!).
The first time around I didn't receive any negative comments, just well wishes from people I encountered on my search for information about tandem nursing. This time my best friend (new since both my births) keeps telling me to "wean, they don't need it, you're just doing it for you, they're going to drain you when the baby comes, etc". It hurts that she doesn't understand or at least support me.
What "good" responses did you come up with (or wish you'd said)? I ignore her when she talks to me about this.
I didn't receive negative comments. A few people were surprised and concerned. I believe I said we were doing what is right for us. Though that may not have been accurate.... seeing as how I was not nursing with my whole heart.
Questions I was asked while visibly pregnant and nursing #1
Isn't your milk going to dry up? (Some women's milk does dry up, happened to my grandmother, when she got pregnant. Mine did not ).
How will you manage when your belly gets big? (Football hold.)
Does it hurt? ( This from women whose breasts were tender during Pregnancy ).
How much do you have to eat? And other nutrition questions.
Note that these were questions I was asked, rather than questions I asked. I also nursed #1, #2 AND was pregnant with #3... I stopped nursing my DD (#1) on her first day of kindergarden, as she was almost 5 years old, and I really could not see nursing all three!
But some of these questions were asked from people that did not know this could be done, so they had weaned their child when they got pregnant.
Also, I was asked if it increased my chances of miscarriage, since nursing is supposed to stimulate labor (uterine contractions). Never happened to me while pregnant, only after delivery though.