Be Careful What You Wish For

A Rurouni Kenshin fanfiction

By Chibi Tenshi and Kirstian

Chapter Three

"Megumi-san - Tae, no offence, but you really shouldn't complain about me getting fat," Kaoru grunted as she pulled her friend into the clinic. "Megumi-san!!"

When no one responded, Kaoru noticed with a sudden sense of unease, that it was unusually quiet, and unusually empty.

"... Megumi-san...?"

Laying Tae down on the floor, Kaoru kicked her geta off and padded quietly into the waiting room, peering around the corners. Where was everyone?

"Genzai-sensei... Megumi-san...?" Her voice rattled off down the halls, echoing rather eerily off the rice paper - it's never done that before, she thought off-hand - and disappeared, without a response. "... hm," Kaoru mumbled, "that's funny..."

And then she heard it; at first, it was just the sound of the breaths of the breeze outside through the trees, but when she tilted her ear around the corner, she could make the sounds out more definitely; someone was whispering.

Frowning, Kaoru stepped into the hall lightly, trying to pinpoint the sound.

"... and..."

Her ears twitched. Yahiko - although he sounded... nasally.

"... and then what, Yahiko-kun?"

Genzai, too.

"It's alright, you can tell us."

And Megumi! They were all there!

Relieved, Kaoru was about to rush in, determined to find the answer to the odd plague that had swept over Tokyo, when her student's voice came again. "... and then when I walked into the bath house, she was... she was..."

"She was what?"

"... na-naked!"

Kaoru's eyes widened - he had accidentally ran in on her while she was in the furo that morning... were they talking about her?

Was... was it even an accident?!?

As she stormed over to the door, Kaoru heard Genzai sigh sadly, and Megumi stated, "well, now we know what caused your nosebleed, Yahiko-kun."

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?!"

Yahiko, sitting in front of the two adults, went red in the face - and blood started dripping down from his nose, even though Megumi had packed it with cotton to stop the last nosebleed. Quite unlike the Tokyo Samurai he proclaimed himself to be, his face went bright red, his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he keeled over.

"K-Kaoru-chan!!!"

They both abandoned Yahiko, leaving him passed out on the futon, and Kaoru stumbled backwards, hitting the shoji behind her as Genzai and Megumi cornered her.

"Kaoru-chan, I haven't seen you in so long," Genzai cried happily - a bit too happily, she thought. "You know, you're long due for a physic-"

"Back off, old man!" He went crashing into the room with Yahiko as Megumi shoved him backwards. Dusting her hands off, the doctor smiled widely and quickly ushered Kaoru back down the hall, even as she tried to glance back at where Genzai's hand was clawing out the door limply.

As she was shoved into a different room, Kaoru spun around to glare at the doctor's back, fists balled at her sides. So help her, she would try her damnedest not to hurt another soul, but if the day kept going as it had been so far, she wasn't sure how long she could keep her temper in check. "Look here, Megumi-san, what is going on!?"

The fox-ears twitched as Megumi snapped the shoji shut.

"Kaoru-chan, how long has it been since your last examination?"

"That's not important," Kaoru yelled, stomping a foot. "What's going on out there?! Everyone's - sick, or something! Kenshin's acting all... all... all not Kenshin, that's what, and Sanosuke is putting fish oil in his hair, and Saitoh - oh, don't get me started on Saitoh-"

"Tanuki-chan, you must calm down!"

Her chest heaving, Kaoru stomped her foot again. "C-calm down?! CALM DOWN?! How am I supposed to calm down!? Are you even listening!?" Megumi still wasn't facing her, but Kaoru was beginning to become the slightest bit suspicious as the doctor moved around, picking a few items from the shelves around the room, dropping to her knees and lighting a match. "What are you doing?!"

"It's incense," she replied. "It will sooth your nerves."

"I don't WANT something to calm me down, I want something to make everyone stop looking at me with that funny look in their eyes! ... although," she mumbled a bit, breathing in through her nose, "it does smell nice..."

"See? You're so tense!! Why don't you sit down and let me take a look at you?"

"But, Megumi-san, really, there's something very weird going on around here!" Her worries seemed to drift away, though, with the odd scent of the lazy smoke drifting around the room, and Kaoru fell onto her knees easily when the doctor pushed her shoulders down. "Megumi-san, you have to do something!"

"Don't worry, Kaoru-chan," Megumi responded, sitting down behind her and placing her hands on her shoulders, "Megumi-sensei can fix anything."

Huffing her breath through her nose, Kaoru whined unhappily, "then fix Kenshin! He's being so weird! Not that I don't like it, but, honestly! Out in the middle of the courtyard like that... and... that feels really nice, actually..." Sinking into Megumi's massage, Kaoru sighed, stretching her neck. "Really relaxing."

"That's right, Kaoru-chan, just relax. I don't know what you saw in Ken-san, anyway - such a scrawny little man. You need a strong, supporting partner. One that can take care of you, and who can keep a job!"

"Well, Kenshin's strong, and he supports me... and he tries his best to take care of me," Kaoru mumbled, her nose twitching as something in her neck cracked under Megumi's hands. "... and, I'm sure if he gets a job, he could-"

"Ohoho! Ken-san, get a job? That's rich, Kaoru-chan! You and me both know," Megumi sang, "that you need someone with a real job. Someone like... a doctor, perhaps."

"Hah," she laughed, rolling a shoulder through the fabric of her kimono as Megumi worked the knots of tension out of her muscles, all of them formed in the last few hours. "The only doctors I know are you and Genzai-sensai, and he's like a grandfather to me. This really does feel nice."

When Megumi leaned in, though, and mumbled, "I knew you'd see it my way," into her ear, Kaoru blinked lazily - and then her eyes shot open, realizing that the fox had been trying to seduce her just as the shoji exploded in her face.

"Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu, Ryu Sou Sen!"

"Futae no Kiwami!"

"Aku Soku Zan!"

And, from behind the three shadows in the fluttering remains of the rice paper, "Kaaaaoru-chaaaaaan, I'm three times the cook Himura-san is!"

The shriek that sounded from within the clinic was certainly undignified, and probably drew more attention than Kaoru had wanted. Bodies flew through the air in no particular order, sailing through beautifully as each proclaimed his/her love for a certain kenjutsu instructor and bickered through the air.

As she fought to calm her near crazed emotions, her last thought was that it could not get any crazier, just as the doors to the clinic were burst down.

“There she is!”

“NOOOO!!!!!” Her arms protested wearily at the sight of the town descending upon her. Instead, she did the only thing she knew how to. She ran.

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Disclaimer: We own no part of Rurouni Kenshin or any other presences, other then Tenshi and Kirstian themselves, who will appear in this fic. If we did, Kenshin wouldn't be as clueless as he normally is, and he'd be called Tub-by. In any case, we have no money. We spent it all on Sesshoumaru's spandex Halloween getup. XD So don't sue. We'll sick Vash on you.