Be Careful What You Wish For

A Rurouni Kenshin fanfiction

By Chibi Tenshi and Kirstian

Chapter Six

Kaoru practically stomped all the way to Aoshi’s. Where there had been no path before, given the force that she was exerting, carriages could now go on it rather like a speed way. To say that Kaoru was in a foul mood was an understatement. And if one looked really carefully at the woman-made path behind her, one could see bodies littering on either side, all sighing with happiness.

What she needed right now was the most cold-blooded man alive. Shinomori Aoshi would certainly fit the bill.

Right before the hand about to touch her waist struck, she stuck out her bokken, neatly knocking the air out of her enthusiastic admirer.

“Oro…” was all he exclaimed before he swooned to the ground, gasping for air.

She sighed and knelt down next to him. “Now, why couldn’t you be a little more hands on earlier?”

All she heard was “Sessh-sessh” as the rurouni fought to breathe. Having an admirer with godspeed certainly wasn’t helping her cause.

“Look, I’m really tired and…”

Kenshin brightened almost immediately. “Sessha can carry you if you want to!”

“… you’re not helping things… err say what?” Tanuki ears twitched. It had never occurred her to use the rurouni’s emotions to her advantage.

He bobbed his head. “I mean, even though Kaoru might be a little heavi-”

Kaoru scowled fiercely and the bokken nearly had his head chopped off. He waved his hands frantically. “Maa maa! I meant heavier up there…”

She couldn’t help herself. Her sword moved even before she could think it through. Swirly-eyed rurouni flopped on the ground in confusion, the lump on his head that had just formed joining the cluster already there.

Kaoru rubbed her temples. “Look here,” she said. “I’ll cut you a deal. You protect me from my admirers.”

“And?” he piped up hopefully, despite the concussion that was coming on.

She raised an imperious eyebrow at him. “You want more? Isn’t being in my company good enough for you?”

Kenshin looked so woebegone at the moment that she felt sorry for him. “It is! It is… it’s just… sessha was wondering…”

He was just too adorable for his own good. Her heart softened despite all that she had gone through and had to endure. If circumstances were normal, she’d be flinging herself in his arms. It was unfortunate that fate had an extremely cruel sense of humour.

“… could sessha wash your clothes when we get to wherever it is we’re going?”

She gaped at him, and would’ve believed it to be an entirely innocent request had it not be the faintly lecherous golden gleam coming from his eyes.

“BAKA!!!!” Kaoru screamed at him and punted him in the direction of Aoshi. Hentai or not, he was still the lesser of all evils – her arms could only do so much punching afterall.

Then, she continued stomping along the path, swaying those childbearing hips, little knowing that the motion would only cause mass chaos to ensue as Hiko awoke from unconsciousness.

“Ah, my not-so-little shihondai wants to play hard to get huh?” His eyes gleamed excitedly. It had been a while since he hunted.

************

“Kaoru!!” Kenshin exclaimed happily as he bounded down the path to meet her.

She thrust her bokken in front of her, stopping him from leaping on her. Then, she gasped in surprise as he put his arm around her shoulders.

“Well, Kaoru, my love…”

Kaoru nearly melted at that endearment. She wanted to cry. After all this time, waiting for ANY indication that he even found her remotely attractive, it would have to be caused by a disease. At the touch of his fingers stroking the back of her neck, she forgot everything and just stared at him stupidly.

“…protect you… sheath… my sakabatou… all night long.”

Blinking out of her stupor, Kaoru just stared at him. “WHAT?!” she screeched.

He flashed her a lethal grin and moved a little closer. She was caught between swooning from being so near him and running away in alarm. Kaoru’s arms ached, and she really didn’t want to give her future husband any more knocks to the head for fear of damaging the future Himura lineage.

“Ano… ano…”

His warm breath feathered against her ear. “Hai, Kaoru?” he whispered.

This time, she nearly did faint. She told herself repeatedly that it was a sakabatou she felt by her side. “Ano…” She glanced around frantically before getting an idea. “Kenshin!” she exclaimed and took the opportunity to hop away from him as he gave her a startled glance.

“What is it?”

Affecting the most ladylike tone she could summon, Kaoru looked upon Kenshin with big eyes. “You love me, don’t you Kenshin?”

White teeth flashed in her direction – oh dear, her ladykiller was back. She reminded herself to breathe. “You know I do, my love.” Somehow in the process, he had taken her hand and his thumb rubbed her skin in lazy circles. How the heck had he gotten so close within seconds?

She cursed the godspeed long and hard, not before hoping that this wasn’t going to be the case in the marital bed. She blushed heartily, scolding herself for jumping to conclusions, and continued, “Then, please protect me from those awful people back there. I know they’re going to want to touch me!”

At her tone, he growled ferally. His eyes shone a fierce bloodthirsty amber. “They wouldn’t dare.”

With courage she never knew she had, she walked up to him, and whispered, “Please save me from those awful awful people!”

Before she could blink, her now fearsome ex-hitokiri had taken off down the path to eliminate whatever guy would dare to come near her.

“Just remember!! NO bloodshed! It frightens me to see blood!” she called out.

Then with a big smile, she continued. At the very least, it would buy her enough time to get to Aoshi.

************

Peering around the corner of the hall, Kaoru sighed. How much longer would this craze last? Surely, she couldn't be the only woman on the planet with such stunning physique and grace - alright, so, maybe she was, but there were plenty of other fish in the sea!

Thinking of fish, though, reminded her of Sanosuke's make-shift hair gel, and Kaoru winced. Best to find Aoshi, and quickly - he would most definitely have some answers.

Creeping down the hall, Kaoru put her ears to the doors, listening carefully for any sounds of life. There were none, and she was beginning to feel the slightest bit worried; if he wasn't at the shrine... that would mean a trip into the town. She couldn't wait for him there; sooner or later Kenshin and the rest of the roaming city of Tokyo would show up, and she wanted to be far away by then.

At the next corner, Kaoru paused and gathered her wits, ready to run lest anyone see her; but when she looked, there was only one person there, and he did not seem to have any remote interest in her.

Her heart almost soared - the first person in two days who didn't care about her!

"S-Shinomori-san," she started, carefully sidling out into the hall, "I need-"

"Sit down," he interrupted. Gruffly.

She almost leapt for joy - he really didn't care about her!

Without argument, she padded over and kneeled down beside him.

"You've upset the cosmos," he started after a moment.

"I-I have? But I didn't do anything," she cried, "and it's not my fault that I'm so good-looking, and I can't help it if everyone seemed to just realize that now!"

"Be quiet," he said, and she snapped her jaw shut, although she wanted to hug him for being so brisk with her, "and meditate."

"... m-meditate...? Well, alright, but I'm afraid that it's going to be sort of hard when half of Tokyo-"

"Just do it."

"Yes sir!" Sighing, she hung her head and closed her eyes, hoping that the rustling of the trees around them was just from the breeze and not her few hundred fervent admirers.

The silence really was nice, though. A lot more peaceful then the sounds she had grown used to in the last while - the screaming and the swooning and the whistles and the hoots and the cute and yet frighteningly seductive oros and-

"What are you thinking?"

"Uh, nothing?" She tried, blushing furiously. Since when were Kenshin's oros seductive, she yelled at herself.

"You can't lie to me, Kamiya-san."

Sighing, she tried for a slightly less suspicious answer. "... I guess about why everyone's gone so crazy."

"It's easy to see why," Aoshi responded coolly. "But there's no point wasting your time worrying about what's already been done. You need to focus on what you need to do, Kamiya-san."

Her lips twitched. He was speaking metaphorically. Definitely metaphorically. And the way he had taken her hand and was starting to trace the lines of her palm with his fingers? Most obviously something metaphorical. Probably about the different paths of life. Most definitely.

"And what do I need to do, Shinomori-san?"

"First, you need to relax." Easier said then done, Kaoru almost replied, especially since he had become a bit more insistent in his whole paths-of-life exploration, pulling her arm against him. "I can sense that you are stressed."

"Just a bit."

"And with the trouble that's arisen, you're exhausted... your feet must be tired, since you've been running through my mind all day. Never mind the-"

She stopped listening, eyes snapping open.

Even if it was from Aoshi, the coldest of the cold, the abominable snowman himself - that had sure as hell sounded like a pick-up line. A very bad one, too.

"... just relax, Kamiya-san."

"S-Shinomori-san-"

"The floor isn't that comfortable, though... here."

Every hope she ever had about Aoshi being her savior vanished from her mind as he suddenly pulled her over and deposited her on his lap.

"There."

She was absolutely, positively sure that he hadn't had his kodachi with him, but that was definitely what she was feeling. Yep. Had to be the kodachi.

"'To love,'" he started, voice soft behind her, "'were it not human fate-'"

Aoshi went flying through the air, still reciting his poem to her even as he crashed through the rice-paper doors.

"Ah! I missed him... I'm so sorry, love," Kenshin chimed from inside the room, and Kaoru almost screamed.

"Poetry, eh? Never though of that one," Sano said thoughtfully, dragging himself along the ground behind Kenshin.

As Kaoru abandoned the shrine, heading straight for the city, she knew that the sound of the citizens of Tokyo reciting ancient poetry that they had half-forgotten - namely Sanosuke rattling off something about fish heads, and Saitoh about the life and death of a flower - would haunt her dreams forever.

_______________________________________________

Disclaimer: We own no part of Rurouni Kenshin or any other presences, other then Tenshi and Kirstian themselves, who will appear in this fic. If we did, Kenshin wouldn't be as clueless as he normally is, and he'd be called Tub-by. In any case, we have no money. We spent it all on Sesshoumaru's spandex Halloween getup. XD So don't sue. We'll sick Vash on you.